Things I Learned From Married at First Sight

Updated on February 20, 2018
creativearts2009 profile image

Cecelia grew up in South Australia. During her work in Kindergartens, Cecelia also became interested in speech development as literacy.

Image from Married at First Sight official Facebook www.facebook.com/MarriedAU/
Image from Married at First Sight official Facebook www.facebook.com/MarriedAU/

What is Married at First Sight?

Married at First Sight is a controversial show broadcast on Australian Television roughly once a year. In 2018 it is airing on Channel 9 at 7:30 Pm Monday to Wednesday with 7:00 pm Sunday being a “Commitment Ceremony”. The participants sign up to go through a wedding ceremony with a complete stranger and associate with them for a few weeks until their relationship has reached some sort of conclusion.

I have not followed any overseas versions, I tuned into the first season and was put off by how unlikely the couples seemed. Nevertheless, I watched the finale, where the participants were asked to soul search and explain to their “partner” whether they want to continue the relationship or not. To my surprise, the few compatible looking couples agreed to go their separate ways. One couple, whom I had thought unlikely because of their diverse backgrounds and the female partner’s issues regarding opening up and trust, chose to stay together, and rumour has it this is the ONLY successful couple to emerge from the show so far.

Last year, I did not watch the show at all because I was busy watching the more entertaining “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here”, so I only saw bizarre snippets. I promised myself that I would watch Married at First Sight faithfully this year.

1) Some women really do focus on the trimmings and not the relationship.

In the early episodes of each season a number of couples get fake ‘married’. The brides are shown choosing their gowns and the grooms are shown choosing their suits. (No one explains who chose the decorations, the bridesmaids’ dresses, the rings, flowers or venues.) We assume the television station footed the bills for these extravaganza to which both couples invite their families and friends.

The strange thing is: many of the brides describe these weddings as their “dream weddings” despite having no pre-existing relationship with the groom. I would have thought loving the groom ought to be part of the dream?

Even after her relationship with Sean Donnelly had clearly failed and both parties had voted to leave, Jo McPharlin described the wedding as her dream wedding. (Sunday February 18 2018). When Ryan Gallagher is angry with her Davina Rankin is busy describing the wedding as ‘beautiful’ to his mother. (Monday 19 February 2018)

So these women wanted the dress, the party, the cake and flowers more than they wanted the man. Why didn’t they just have a big 21st birthday party? Graduation party? Or celebrate some solid achievement like their job?

30-1-2018

2) People believe fiction very easily.

NEWSFLASH – these weddings are not legal! In Australia, the notice of “Intention to get married” must be filled out by both parties with accompanying identification and lodged with the intended celebrant between one year and one month and a day before the wedding. A marriage of strangers is just not possible or legal under Australian law. At one stage, the government was even talking about bringing in up to six compulsory relationship counseling sessions before marriage.

So these marriages are NOT REAL and yet everyone watches their progression with bated breath. Davina Rankin and Dean Wells consider a partner swap on the grounds they may have been severely mismatched by the ‘experts’ and people talk about this as ‘cheating’. Blogs and headlines refer to them as ‘love rats’. They call it an 'affair' themselves during one episode.

The marriage was not real and if they were mismatched, they might well be within their rights organizing a swap. I believe that gossip columnists have spotted two other contestants who are currently being treated abysmally by their on-screen ‘partners’, on a sandy beach somewhere together. Good luck to these two if this has worked out, both were physically attractive and seemed very nice!

3) Choice is important.

While Davina Rankin has received some bad press for attempting to change husbands on screen, the psychology involved is interesting. When Davina felt she had no part in choosing Ryan, he was not attractive to her and she was desperate to leave him. After the fall out, where Dean has toyed with her feelings and then gone back to onscreen wife Tracey, perhaps Ryan is all Davina has left.

However, there seems to be more to it than this. Davina sees Ryan in his home environment, where she says he walks taller, and generally seems more attractive. Davina is now choosing Ryan and it appears there might be a slight chance for them. This drama has not played itself out yet, but I am keen to see her try to win Ryan back.

19-2-2018

4) It is cruel to pair a quiet person with a loud person.

During their break-up at commitment ceremony, Jo attempted to hit Sean with the looks card and imply that he was the bad guy for not liking her looks. However, as a quieter person, I had been on Sean’s team from the very moment the experts said something like ‘they would pair him with Jo because she was more social than him and would draw him out’.

That is not how it works. A quiet person needs time and space in which to be authentic! From the first moment Jo stepped on screen, laughing her loud laugh, and talking non-stop, Sean was intimidated and suppressed.

One of the signs of a good relationship is that the partners, whether they be outgoing or introverted, become comfortable with shared silence. Jo could not bear silence and broke it as often as she could. Only in the final week, when Jo knew that Sean had voted to leave during the previous week, did she allow some silence. This was too little, too late, and only because she was now feeling rejected and unhappy.

20-2-2018

5) In general people stay in bad relationships longer than they ought.

In the case of Jo and Sean, the incompatibility was clear even before the minister asked Sean to say ‘I do’. To me, the most honest thing would have been to call off the wedding. Of course, then he might miss an all-expenses-paid trip to Singapore, as well as be abused by the media for ‘not trying’. Jo herself asked why he did not tell her he felt wrong several days into the honeymoon, as this might have allowed herself to prepare for her eventual rejection.

Another case was Troy Delmerge and Ashley Irvin. Troy appeared to be easy going and people pleasing. He perhaps needs to maintain his fitness because of sedentary work in IT (Information Technology). Ashley began to criticise him on the first day of the honeymoon and rejected all his attempts to please her.

It is hard to tell what really happened at times because of all the editing – but Ashley was allowed to demand Troy got his signature locks cut as a sign of love – but no similar request was made to her to cut her expensive artificially enhanced blonde locks? Ashley complained that Troy was always looking in the mirror – but how did her meticulous make-up get onto her face every day if she didn't look into a mirror?

The question remains as to why these couples did not call it quits earlier and in a more honest fashion. On television, there is the obvious incentive of one more week’s participation, fame, publicity and an expense allowance. In real life, there are always things that make us comfortable with our problems and prevent us from taking drastic action to correct relationship mistakes and injustices in a timely fashion.

18-2-2018

Questions & Answers

    © 2018 Cecelia

    Comments

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment

      No comments yet.

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, reelrundown.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://reelrundown.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)