Ash has a bachelor's in English Lit. She loves analyzing fiction and obsessing over books, film, and television.
Boy Meets World was an American sitcom that aired from 1993 to 2000. Growing up, it was one of my favorite sitcoms, right alongside the TGIF lineup that included such shows as Family Matters, Full House, and Step By Step.
Boy Meets World was one of my favorite, the characters of Shawn (Rider Strong) and Angela (Trina McGee-Davis) in particular.
I loved their romance. Unlike Cory and Topanga, it felt more realistic. Angela and Shawn had insecurities, fears, ups and downs, but really loved each other -- never were they abusive to each other.
They tried to stay together but ultimately couldn't because of Angela's fears. It's not as happy as Cory and Topanga, but it was relatable because -- sadly -- it's so common for people to have these issues.
Angela makes her debut in Season 5. In the two part episode "Chasing Angela," Shawn has found Angela's purse, is fascinated by the contents -- literature, poetry -- and falls deeply in love with her before ever laying eyes on her.
I've seen cynical people say all the time that you can't fall in love with someone you've never met. Apparently, you need to see them and smell them and touch them or you can't love them?
I have spent some time basically studying love -- what it is, what it means, why it happens -- and I know in my heart that love isn't about sexual attraction or pheromones or chemicals. Cynics will tell you it is, but that's just not true. The entire "Love is chemicals!" thing is just the bitter refrain of people who have given up on love and need some reason to hate and ridicule everyone who hasn't. (Ironically, these people are alone because they are bitter and gave up -- not because love doesn't exist.)
Love is two souls connecting on a deeply spiritual level. The contents of Angela's purse revealed Angela's soul, and Shawn fell helplessly in love with her.
Later, when Shawn actually meets Angela, he isn't convinced she is "the purse girl." He looks at her and doesn't see what he saw in the contents of her purse, so he is unimpressed -- even bored -- during his date with her.
This happens a lot with online dating. People project fantasies and expectations onto a person they've never met, and so when they finally meet them, they are disappointed.
It is because you can't look at someone and see their soul or how beautiful it is. You can't look at a person and instantly know them. So when Shawn looked at Angela -- who was guarded and didn't open up to him anyway -- he found it hard to believe she was "the purse girl." He didn't understand that her true beauty wasn't something he could see with his eyes. It was something he had to feel with his heart.
Later, Cory tells Shawn to look deeply into Angela's eyes. Shawn heeds the advice and realizes he is, in fact, deeply in love with Angela. Why? Because instead of seeing her through his projections and disappointments, instead of focusing on her physical appearance, he looked in her eyes and saw her soul.
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul for a reason.
I know this all sounds silly and irrational and mushy to most people. I mean, how can you love someone you've never spoken to? Never laid eyes on? Never stood in the same room with?
Because it's usually not someone's body that you fall in love with. It's not how they dress. It's not how they speak or walk or what perfume they wear. Those are expressions of who they are but it's not who they are.
We are not our bodies.
We are eternal souls having a human experience in temporary, mortal bodies. We are beings born of love, meant to love. And so, love is only real when it happens on a deep soul level -- not a superficial sexual level.
Love is not sex.
Sex is supposed to be an expression of love. Done in any other way, it is directly harmful to both participants -- casual sex, being used as a sex object is mentally, physically, spiritually harmful to both participants. In the picture below, Shawn can't go through with casual sex with Angela because he loves her and respects her too much to use her like a thing.
Because love is heartfelt, this is why it is possible to love someone without ever meeting them face to face, but it's harder to know if you're sexually attracted to someone without ever meeting them. Sexual attraction is physical and requires your physical presence to fully gauge it. But love? Love is a matter of the heart.
You do not have to be standing in someone's presence to love them.
What Shawn and Angela had was beautiful because Shawn loved her. Not her body. Not her money. Not what she could do for him or give to him. He loved her soul.
Sadly, loving an actual person (another soul) rather than what they can do for you on a superficial level (finances, sex, status, emotional labor, domestic labor) is very rare in today's world.
If only more people understood love, there would be fewer bitter and jaded articles on the net, ranting about how loving someone without ever meeting them face to face is impossible.
Again, love and sexual attraction are not the same thing. You need to see someone to know if you're attracted to them. But your heart only needs to feel another soul.
When it comes to love, you'd be surprised how much is actually possible.
© 2019 Ash
Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on March 20, 2019:
Hello, Ash Grey, many thanks for sharing. Your story reminds me of a film in which Angelina Jolie was imported for a rich guy who needs a wife. Though she was not the one he had in mind, nevertheless, having never seen her before humanly likes and loves her.
I agreed that love does not equate sex. But sex can be an expression of true love in marital situations only. Otherwise, it is harmful, selfish, deceitful, and destroys the soul of both the indulgers. Thanks again.