Beatrice is a horror movie enthusiast who has absorbed countless movies spread throughout the horror subgenres.
I'd like to make sure that we're all on the same page before you read on.
This review contains my personal opinion on the movie Unfriended. If you like it, great! If you dislike it, great!
Just wanted to be clear about this from the get-go.
Also, this review contains MAJOR SPOILERS. Consider yourselves warned.
Overview Of Unfriended
Unfriended, an American supernatural horror movie, was released in 2014 and is an absolute mess (according to myself anyway).
I want to make it very clear already that I dislike this movie to the extreme. Why I do will be covered in a bit.
Unfriended, unlike a lot of modern horror movies, takes a sort of turn from the very start of the movie. The entire story is unfolded from the view of a computer screen. That's right, the entire movie is basically Team Viewer: The Movie, except you don't get to mess around with their computer.
This is not necessarily a bad thing and I actually want to give the movie a bit of credit for this. Trust me, it's the only time I'll ever do that.
With the basics covered, I'll move onto the plot of this wonderful movie.
The Plot Of Unfriended
Alright, this is actually quite simple to explain.
A bunch of teenagers harasses and eventually drive a girl they know to suicide. Being the assholes they are, they continue about their merry lives until one day, in a group Skype call (on the anniversary of her death, of course), an unknown user with no profile picture joins their video call.
They soon find out that it is, in fact, the ghost of the girl they drove to an early death and she is content on getting revenge. It starts out with just fun and games but quickly turns into people getting "murdered". I'm not sure if I'd call it murder yet, though, as one of them just stares at a screen and another one gets his hand stuck in a blender.
After failing to inform any kind of authorities and their attempt at removing a virus (by emptying their recycle bins) is a failure as well, they are played against each other as the ghost of the girl (whom I just remembered is called Laura) reveals secrets about them and their more intimate lives (cheating on their partners and such).
Lastly, after denying it for the entire duration of the movie, we, as the viewer, and the rest of the characters find out that the girl whose laptop we've been watching (Blaire) was actually the one recording the video footage that started the harassment of Laura. The movie ends with her screen being shut by the supernatural forces of GHOSTS and a scary Laura pops up for a final jump scare.
The Plot Thickens (Not Really)
What can we conclude from my little walkthrough of the story, you may ask? I'll tell you!
The characters in the movie are terrible goddamn people. They are the stereotypical obnoxious assholes that most modern horror now portrays, sadly. Not a single one of them is likable at all and their lines just seem so out of place and poorly written.
Now, the actors themselves do a decent job. Their performance isn't terrible but you're too busy hating who they're pretending to be to actually notice that.
Allow me to quote one of the characters this once, just because I equally love and despise this line: "There's fucking no one here. I'm gonna go check it out".
That line is so brilliantly ignorant that I can't help but remember it, even after all of this time.
Seriously, the scariest part about this movie is how accurately it represents the quality of a Skype video call.
— Beatrice Sloan
Unfriended Ruined Itself
Unfriended took a cool and mostly unused concept (I say mostly since it's been done before but not to the same extent as other things) by recording a screen and the interactions made on it. However, they ruined their own greatness before it even had a chance to exist by stumbling into the same mistakes that every other horror movies make.
If you want your viewer to truly be horrified when something happens to a character, they need to feel something other than a pure annoyance when they're on screen. You need something different than the old "oh, we're teens and we're assholes and we have no idea what we're doing".
I realize that a lot of people enjoy this movie. Honestly, I'm happy for you since you didn't feel the same pain in the back of your head as I did when watching it. I've watched a lot of horror movies and I like, almost, exactly none of them. My expectations are high, but all I ever strive for is some degree of originality which Unfriended, sadly, fails to provide.
Last Thoughts Before Unfriending
(I apologize for the joke...)
I'll be honest and say that I truly despise Unfriended. I hate its use of nonsensical tech-related scenes, its plot, its characters, everything.
I feel like we're slowly moving towards a future where the majority of movie-goers want this kind of repetitive bullshit, and therefore, that's what will be produced.
When I sit down and spend 83 minutes (yes, its actual run time) of my life watching something, I want to feel something different than a sense of anger. I want something that makes me think, not loud jumpy scenes or petty conflicts between unlikable fictional beings.
I might be unreasonable. I do realize this, but I will continue searching for something good and until I find it, I have a feeling I'll return here with more reviews.
Unfriended. Remember kids, this is why we use Discord nowadays!
© 2019 Beatrice Sloan
John Plocar from Weatherford on January 28, 2019:
Thank you for the nice compliment! =D and no problem, I enjoyed your review immensely.
Beatrice Sloan (author) on January 28, 2019:
I'm glad to see that we still have a few reasonable people among us, John Plocar.
Thank you for taking the time to read my review.
John Plocar from Weatherford on January 17, 2019:
I saw this in the theater with one of my best friends and girlfriend at the time and we riffed the hell out of it together. Granted we were being a little loud, but it was pretty clear that everyone in that theater was basically doing the same thing... I got shushed at one of the long scenes with absolutely no dialog going on or anything, it was literally a minute long scene of silence and a generic website on the screen for a minute straight. I couldn't help but joke with my friends about it and a woman actually turned around to shush me, while it was still dead silent with nothing happening!
I agree with you about the characters, while they are certainly well enough acted, the writing on them is completely unlikable and even downright despicable. At no point do I ever route for these obnoxious brats that, for one, drove a girl to suicide. And two, apparently do terrible things to one another in secret all the time. So why should I care what happens to them? Seems like they get what they deserve. If they at least had any charismatic personality among them then maybe I could forgive them a little bit, but like you said, they're all a bunch of assholes. That is a major problem with modern horror films. They make their whole cast into a bunch of unlikable douchebags because the producers don't want to upset anyone if and when they die. But that just leaves the audience with a cast full of characters that we end up hating to spend all this time with. Luckily that trope has died down a little in recent years, but it still remains relatively present.