Things I Always Wonder About "Home Alone"
For me, "Home Alone" is a Christmas classic. Without fail, I watch it at least once a year, usually twice. This year, I enjoyed watching it with my baby and, as the movie played, I had fun pointing out some of the questions that always seem to pop into my head when I watch the film to my giggling infant.
First question: why are people so mean to Kevin? I don’t necessarily understand siblings being mean to one another, but I get that some siblings interact that way, but what about the adults? That’s right Uncle Frank, I’m looking at you. Who calls their eight year old nephew a “little jerk”? Who lets someone call their child a "little jerk"?
While I think it is awful that everyone was so mean to Kevin, I can't help but wonder why nobody put Buzz in his place. Let's face it, Buzz was a jerk!
Kevin is an eight year old child, why didn't an adult make sure he got a slice of plain cheese pizza?
At the beginning of the movie Kate McCallister is on the phone and she says, "No we're not bringing the dog, we put him in the kennel.." Between the kids and the dog, how was their house so spotless?
We all know that if Fuller has too much to drink, he’ll wet the bed, so why on earth is he drinking a can of Pepsi? And, considering they are traveling with their bed-wetting son, why didn’t Fuller’s parents bring Pull-Ups?
You know what, bed wetting aside, why is Fuller drinking Pepsi at all? He's a child and it's nearly bedtime. I hope at the very least he brushed his teeth with a toothbrush that was approved by the ADA.
Was eight year old Kevin actually expected to pack his own suitcase? My husband is thirty five and I don't expect him to pack his own suitcase!
I’m too scared to actually look into this, but every time I watch this movie and I hear Buzz say that he is going to feed Kevin to his tarantula, I can’t help but wonder, do tarantulas eat people? Can they eat people? Should I be more afraid of them than I already am?
I get that he was in the attic, but how did Kevin manage to sleep through all the chaos going on in the house? I mean, there was screaming, running around, flying luggage, etc..
How did it take the McCallisters so long to notice they didn't have Kevin? I get that there was a rush but you would think that a mother would have the instinct to double check the teenager's headcount. And even if I could forgive them for not noticing on the way to the airport, what about on the airplane? How didn't a single one of the kids notice Kevin wasn't there?
Kevin McCallister is a confusing character. This is an eight year old boy who can’t pack a suitcase but can prepare food and do laundry, not to mention outsmart two grown men and defend his home when his family accidentally leaves for Paris without him. Each time I watch the scene where Kevin says, “I made my family disappear”, my immediate reaction is, ‘Is he serious?’ It’s not like the McCallisters were planning on surprising young Kevin by taking him to Paris the next morning, he knew about this trip, yet throughout the movie it seems Kevin really believes that he wished his family away.
Aside from the fact that it would have made for a very short and career-killing movie, why wasn’t Kevin more afraid? Why wasn’t his immediate reaction to the situation to run to the police? Screw showering and washing every body part with actual soap, stair-sledding and getting a new toothbrush, I would have been running straight to the police sobbing like a baby.
And speaking of the police, did the McCallisters ever sue the most useless police station imaginable? The police department seem to think nothing of the situation but do the bare-minimum by sending a door-knocking police officer to the house. A couple taps on the door? That’s it? Really? Did they not think that a young child might be too afraid to answer the door? I'm pretty sure when I was eight I wasn't even allowed to answer the door if my mother wasn't in the room. Shouldn't the lack of response be more of a concern? What if Kevin was hurt and unable to answer the door?
Speaking of police, why didn't the pizza delivery boy call the police when he thought someone was shooting at him? Or maybe he did. It's not like that police department has the greatest track record.
As a frequent flyer (semi-frequent flyer?), I'm floored that the airline couldn't bump someone to help a woman get home to her unattended child. Seriously, I don't remember the last flight I had where someone wasn't bumped.
Why didn't the burglars give up? Nobody else the McCallister family knew was home, why not try those houses? I mean, let's face it, they probably didn't have health insurance and they were taking quite the beating.
Kevin knew that Harry and Marv would be returning with the intention of breaking in and robbing the house at 9pm, so again, I ask, why didn’t he go to the police? Or, at the very least, why didn’t he ask Old Man Marley for help when the two were in the church and Kevin realized he wasn’t the creepy, crazy murderer that Buzz said he was? And that’s not my only question about Old Man Marley (love the name). Why did Old Man Marley have to make himself seem so creepy? I was terrified, absolutely terrified of this character for years, even though I knew how the movie ended. Did he not notice the burglars in the neighbourhood night after night while shoveling and salting the sidewalks? Why didn’t the McCallisters call him?
Was Harry actually going to bite Kevin's finger off? Please, someone tell me he was just trying to give the kid a scare because if not, that's dark.
Back to Old Man Marley, what's his deal? He saves Kevin from the Wet Bandits (yay - good job) but then he just takes Kevin home. Why not help the child out? Why not stick around to give a statement to the police who then should have helped Kevin out?
How did Kevin manage to clean up the house? Go back, watch the movie, really look at the mess that was made and then ask your adult self if you could handle cleaning it up. I couldn't.
And of course, why doesn't Kevin tell his family what happened? Part of me thinks he should have because he'll need therapy some day but another part of me thinks he could have blown his family's mind.
© 2018 M