'Loqueesha' (2019) An Insane Movie Review

Updated on August 26, 2019
John Plocar profile image

Don't we all have a little Loqueesha deep down inside of us? No. This is stupid.

I'm Lost

From the moment the end credits mercifully graced my vision, I knew that Loqueesha was going to be difficult to critique. Truth be told, even as I sit at my keyboard this very moment, I haven’t the faintest idea how to properly discuss this thing that few may call a “movie”. This isn’t a joke or some humorous introduction, I honestly don’t have a plan of approach on my review here, I’m simply winging it as I type away at my laptop. Not a single shred of direction for my writing because Loqueesha is so perplexing and surreal to me that I’m not even sure I actually saw this 100 minute fiasco. There are times that I am legitimately convinced that this was all the product of a feverish nightmare conjured up by bad sushi. Even though I haven’t eaten sushi in months.

How in the world do I talk about Loqueesha?! It’d be easy to rack it up as one of the worst films of 2019 and call it a day. Normally I give myself about a day or two before I start writing my reviews on a film, just so I can be sure to let all of the content sink in for as long as possible while still remaining fresh enough in my mind to easily examine. Five days have now passed since my viewing of this cyclone of cinematic destruction and it’s been one hell of a personal reflective period. Every day that went by I contemplated life; what am I doing with mine, why do I spend so much of it watching the bottom of the barrel crap when I instead could spend my remaining years on this Earth more wisely, where has film as a whole gone, is there even beauty in this artform I love so much anymore, is Loqueesha the most racist movie I’ve seen since Birth of a Nation? Am I even qualified enough to talk about a movie as bad as Loqueesha? Which is quite possibly The Room of 2019.

You're tearing me apart, Loqueesha!
You're tearing me apart, Loqueesha!

Frankly, my strange little odyssey got to the point where I wasn’t even positive that I was going to write a review at all. Being the obsessive film aficionado that I am, I knew that I absolutely needed to review Loqueesha. All I needed was to figure out specifically how. I guess this article is all about my path in discovering how to talk about one of the most confusingly atrocious films to be released this year. Buckle up, kids. It’s going to be a bumpy ass ride!

The Plot

In my opinion, IMDb summarizes the movie best so I’m just going to recycle it.

A white guy pretends to be a black female talk radio host and becomes a huge hit.

The… Story?

The only way that I can come up with talking about Loqueesha is by touching on the narrative first; point by point, scene by scene, explaining this mess as best as I can. In order to guarantee that I incorporate as much data from the film as humanly possible for this review… I will be re-watching essentially the entirety of the movie all over again for this. Two viewings of one terrible flick, all for one little review. So not worth it, but here we go. Be warned. SPOILERS AHEAD.

Alright, I can do this. Joe (Jeremy Saville) is a bar tender who gives the most generic fortune cookie advice of all time. Advice so ridiculously shallow and pseudo-philosophical that anyone could come up with this hokey “enlightenment” off the top of their heads.

Woman in Bar {After receiving relationship advice from the almighty Joe, basically referring her as an idiot}: “Wow! And I thought this drink was strong!”

Joe: “You want another?”

Woman in Bar: “You trying to get me drunk?”

Joe: “No… I’m trying to sober you up.”

By the way, I'm pretty sure the old man lives in that bar.
By the way, I'm pretty sure the old man lives in that bar.

That section above is a prime example of how “witty” our protagonist is with his supposedly life-changing words of wisdom. His advice is so easy that my pretentious ass back in high school was coming up with better cheeseball clichés to spew out to the pretty girls than this dude. Anyways, getting back on track. This is how the movie opens, Joe providing random advice to his fellow bar patrons. The woman [Rachel] that Joe talks to about how she’s the problem in her own relationship, played by Tiara Parker, is so blown away by his skillfully worded monologue that she actually tries aiding our helpful bar tender in getting a gig as a talk show radio host. Is Rachel some sort of producer? Does she work in radio? Is she a talent agent of some kind? As far as I can tell, no. There’s no actual information from what I can recall about what Rachel does for a living, but from what was supplied by the script, she was a fellow citizen that liked the words of white boy Joe and so happened to come across an ad in the newspaper for the radio host position.

Because this was totally from a professional advertisement.
Because this was totally from a professional advertisement.

Now while thinking about it, the advice Joe gave to Rachel wasn’t even good by this movie world’s standards as she claims that his help for her personal “transformation” to leave her lying and unfaithful boyfriend, yet later on it’s revealed that she ignored Joe’s guidance and got back together with her ex anyways. So really, this dude’s enlightenment sucks from a realistic and a fictional standpoint.

Jackass.
Jackass.

Initially declining Rachel’s offer, literally nine seconds of screen time pass for Joe to realize that he needs some significant income since he is being forced by his ex-wife to independently pay for his son to transfer to a more prestigious school. Seriously, at no point does the matter get brought up about the fact that maybe the two parents should share the responsibility of funding their son’s education equally. Instead, for some unknown reasons, the mother declares Joe to be fully responsible for figuring out a way in paying for an overly expensive new school so their son may attend. Not entirely sure how that works, but apparently because this mother claims that the father should unrealistically provide for a school that is clearly outside of this bar tender’s budget, then it’s totally fine? When Joe attempts to bring up other solutions that would instantly end this movie radically sooner, they are quickly dismissed by his Ex to ensure the plot moves forward. Now he’s automatically onboard with the idea of applying for the talk radio host position in hopes to make some real money.

You have to pay for our son's education because "Nanna nanna, boo boo". I'm a b*tch!
You have to pay for our son's education because "Nanna nanna, boo boo". I'm a b*tch!

Introducing… Loqueesha.

Upon being rejected for Joe’s own radio talk show, Rachel takes her leave from the picture for the next forty minutes of screen time. Not exaggerating, the Rachel character completely vanishes from all existence in regards to story and character development. Joe does not once acknowledge this character until she spontaneously turns into his romantic interest over halfway through via phone call. In the meantime, Joe has accepted his fate of never reaching public acclaim or financial success. Then one magical afternoon occurs when Joe so happens to be watching the most horribly chroma keyed television program of all time which sparks a crazy epiphany for our hero; no one wants to hear the opinions of some white guy, what society really wants is to listen to a black woman. Birthing the sassy suburban ghetto queen alter ego through the voice of Joe himself, Loqueesha.

The inspiration that started it all...
The inspiration that started it all...

Pause For a Second

When it comes to comedy, there is almost no subject too taboo to find humor in. From my perspective, it doesn’t matter how dark or controversial a subject is, if there is something truly funny that can be pulled out of any topic then it is relatively unrestricted territory; so long as the humor doesn’t necessarily come from a hateful basis. Whether it be based on race, gender, politics, religion, sexuality, persecution, physical abuse, disease, famine, suicide, depression, war, murder, molestation; you name it and it’s been done in the name of comedy. Ultimately I’m not stating that humor similar to what is being represented here cannot be done, that is not what I am saying at all. Blazing Saddles is one of the greatest comedies of all time and no doubt contains writing that is lightyears away from being anywhere near politically correct. Silver Streak is one of Gene Wilder’s and Richard Pryor’s best films and that has a scene containing Wilder in “black face”. Tropic Thunder is a brilliant satire with a hilarious performance by Robert Downy Jr., who also spends the entire runtime in “black face” as well.

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Blazing Saddles.Silver Streak.Tropic Thunder.
Blazing Saddles.
Blazing Saddles.
Silver Streak.
Silver Streak.
Tropic Thunder.
Tropic Thunder.

Back to Loqueesha

Loqueesha-Joe.
Loqueesha-Joe.

You know what the difference is between those three movies I listed off and Loqueesha? Those other three are funny. A couple of those examples contain some legitimately clever commentary, they have something interesting to say. Loqueesha is NOT funny and doesn’t have any form of intelligence written into its themes. This is simply a middle-aged white man that finds this stereotypical voice that he projects to be funny when in actuality it’s grating. The Loqueesha character isn’t one that is providing any kind of insight into a culture or race or gender, it’s a stereotype that barely sounds like what it’s supposed to. Setting aside the fact that this voice clearly sounds like a man and not a woman, half the time “Loqueesha” sounds more like an old homosexual redneck man rather than a black woman. I’m not convinced that anyone who heard this voice would instantly think to themselves, “this is clearly a black woman”. If I heard this voice on the radio or over the phone, like so many of the secondary characters do throughout the movie, I would immediately know that this was a dude putting on a weird impression. Especially in the segments where he’s talking as himself along with the Loqueesha voice and it is so obvious for anyone with half a brain to figure out that this is the same guy. Yet somehow Joe has the whole city of Detroit fooled with his charade, making this seem like the most moronic society ever put to screen.

However, I could forgive the fact that this isn’t trying to be smart satire or how blatantly this premise is being forced… if Loqueesha, herself, was funny. She’s not. To avoid confusion, I’m going to be referring to Loqueesha and Joe as two completely separate characters. Trust me, it’ll make sense later as to why. For now, strictly speaking about the Loqueesha character; she’s annoying. The voice is so godawfully raspy and off-putting that every time she opened her mouth I was ready to fill my ears with cat litter. Not only is the voice infuriating to listen to, but so is her advice. I’ll touch more on specifics down the line, for now I’ll just say that her advice is about as generic and misguided as Joe’s, only more brazen in her line delivery. I am not remotely convinced that this personality, this voice, or any of the falsely intellectual mumbo jumbo that Loqueesha farts out would reach the level of success and insta-fame that she is depicted in having here. Despite this being a comedy, there is nothing self-aware or humorous about the character of Loqueesha.

Real quote from movie: “I don’t know what I’m more impressed by; you as a black woman or your therapy techniques!”
Real quote from movie: “I don’t know what I’m more impressed by; you as a black woman or your therapy techniques!”

Back to the Story

Joe submits a demo audio reel of “Loqueesha” for the radio host job, a demo reel that is so astonishing that the moment that the two heads of an FM radio station suddenly realize that they need to completely switch their format to AM in order to incorporate this “black female” as their new host. Also, apparently this whole building that houses this professional radio station occupies all of one room for the performer and technician, one hallway, and one office that the two heads of this station literally never leave. Never. They live in that office. It’s their home. I’m sure of it.

We are literally seen nowhere else outside of this office.
We are literally seen nowhere else outside of this office.

Without meeting Loqueesha face to face or signing any sort of contracts in person, the two business heads sign her on and agree to never set sights on her or allow any other employee of the station to see her either. Supposedly letting Loqueesha and her very own personal producer, two total strangers, run ramped. Doing whatever they so choose without a single shred of supervision inside of the executives’ own station in the middle of the night for approximately four hours every night of the week. Yep. That’s how that works! All of the entertainment industry conducts business via sketchy telephone calls without ever personally meeting the talent or overseeing the new hires to make sure they don’t commit any questionable deeds. It’s fine. Totally fine. Nothing to worry about here. Professional.

A Rising Star

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Establishing Loqueesha’s prosperous launch through the power of a ten minute montage, the time comes for the brand new shining star to reveal herself to the world that she has taken by radio storm. Even local televised news broadcasts are rushing to report on this surprise radio hit sensation… slow news day? Resorting to Joe and his producer pal, who’s name escapes me and I don’t care enough to look up, to set up auditions for who will play the part of Loqueesha in the public eye. I smell another montage coming its way!

The lazy efforts that go into persuading the audience of Loqueesha’s success are laughable as it is clear as day that there is a ham sandwich budget trying so desperately to pass itself off as significantly larger. Digitally super imposed banners on the side of a bus appear as though it is just a jpeg file floating in front of stock footage. All social media accounts, posts, and webpages I’m pretty sure were constructed in Microsoft Paint. The only way the radio station heads are able to monitor Loqueesha’s ratings is by writing them down on a dry erase board that they record the statistics onto themselves with magic marker. Honestly, the only moments that drew any sort of amusement for me was seeing how cheap this production looked. Particularly when it came to this segment of the movie. The elements that I’m pretty sure aren’t supposed to be funny are the only funny thing present.

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This is how ratings work.Hardy har har.Whoever made this should be fired.Looks even worse in motion.
This is how ratings work.
This is how ratings work.
Hardy har har.
Hardy har har.
Whoever made this should be fired.
Whoever made this should be fired.
Looks even worse in motion.
Looks even worse in motion.

Rachel's Back

Rachel comes out of cinematic retirement to call into the brand new star’s radio show, ironically claiming that Loqueesha seems suspiciously like her good buddy Joe. Somehow not recognizing the actual voice to parallel Joe’s, but rather in the “language” that they speak so fluently in when it comes to communication. Sure. That’s not stupid at all. During Rachel’s call into Loqueesha’s show, details come to light that she maintains “strong feelings” for Joe. Why? How? When? Because our lead/director/writer has willed it to happen! There is no semblance of a romantic arc between these two characters. They share a few scenes together in the first ten minutes, scenes where they only discuss her boyfriend and helping Joe apply for the radio job. Then nothing. That is all the romantic build up before Rachel recently dumps her off-camera relationship and immediately sets her love sights on Joey boy.

Screenplay Writing 101: Maybe apply a little bit more focus on the chemistry between the two romantic interests if the intention is for the audience to actually invest themselves in their relationship. Fail!

Doesn’t really matter anyways that Rachel sneaks her way back into the picture because she takes her leave, yet again, only seven minutes of screen time later. Rachel doesn’t show back up for nearly another forty minutes. Forty minutes of this character practically dropping dead from the script. No mention of her during those forty minutes. She’s a ghost. Wait, I take that back. Ghosts at least existed as living beings at one point and are acknowledged after death; Rachel being a ghost would have been an upgrade for her character status.

The Actual Math I Added Up for Rachel’s Total Screen Time

Seriously, I scrubbed through the entire film again just so I can pinpoint precisely how much time was actually dedicated to Rachel’s scenes in this one hour and thirty-eight minute movie.

Times Displayed:

1:40 – 5:13 = 4:33 Minutes

6:57 – 8:11 = 1:14 Minutes

8:23 – 12:45 = 4:22 Minutes

51:00 – 58:36 = 7:36 Minutes

1:35:15 – 1:37:43 = 2:28 Minutes

Total Time:

20 Minutes & 13 Seconds

Twenty minutes worth of screen time comprised scenes with Rachel and not a single solitary second of it convinced me that these two shared the least bit of romantic interest in one another. That includes the thirty seconds of the two actors making out. Rachel’s screen presence is spread so thin that it’s a mystery of why she wasn’t scrapped in the first draft. Never mind, I know exactly why these scenes weren’t cut. Because there was no other way to pad out the run time to reach feature length and Jeremy Saville is probably like Adam Sandler with his movies always making up excuses for a schlub like him to get an attractive woman who is vastly out of his league. Subtle.

We're totally getting together because I'm your boss.
We're totally getting together because I'm your boss.

The Exorcism of Loqueesha

He's possessed by the spirit of Loqueesha... because sure.
He's possessed by the spirit of Loqueesha... because sure.

So halfway through the movie while Joe is making out with Rachel, it turns out that Joe is starting to become possessed by the spirit of Loqueesha. No, I’m not joking. Spontaneously in the middle of Joe and Rachel kissing, Loqueesha interjects with her signature sassy remarks while the two are left with a number of questions as to what is going on. For the next ten minutes this random subplot comes to the forefront as Joe’s mind basically breaks in half while the Loqueesha character comes to life and is out of control. I couldn’t believe what in the hell was happening before my very eyes. Not only did this a plot point crash into the script out of nowhere, this whole idea was simply insane to me. At no other moment prior was this mental breakdown alluded to, it comes and goes like the wind. Resulting in this overdrawn, melodramatic dialog being spoken between Joe and Loqueesha live on the air. Once Joe accomplishes inner peace with his Loqueesha demons does the plot move along and is completely dropped mere seconds afterward. I can’t make this stuff up!

Scene of Joe talking to Loqueesha live on the air... wow.
Scene of Joe talking to Loqueesha live on the air... wow.

Loqueesha Talks Down a Jumper

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That green screen... God...
That green screen... God...
That green screen... God...

Cut to a few seconds after Joe’s schizophrenic crisis is conveniently averted, Loqueesha gets a call into her show from a woman contemplating suicide by jumping off of a bridge. Clearly she’s qualified to deal with a situation such as this. No worries, Loqueesha knows exactly how to handle a high tension emergency such as this… Loqueesha tells this manic depressive young woman over the phone, “thanks for calling and enjoy your jump”. Now on paper I can see that working as a darkly twisted joke that could ignite some laughs; however this movie at no point reeled me into its sense of humor, characters, or narrative. Resulting in me not laughing, not believing this to be a bright idea to propose to someone threatening to kill herself, more than likely should be taken as seriously as possible even if they might be someone seeking attention, and maybe place a call into the police department so you’re not solely responsible for this girl’s death. Just a suggestion.

Again, I feel like a broken record, but this is a scene I easily could forgive if it remotely supplied a chuckle out of me. Or possibly if it had something truly insightful and endearing to say. That’s not the case though. It’s unfunny, mind-boggling as to why this scene is randomly crammed into the screenplay at all, and is written with the kitschiest dialog that one could hack up at a moment’s notice. Not to mention the fact that I can’t take it seriously when this young girl contemplating to plummet to her death is standing in front of the most obvious green screen to ever grace film. The special effects used to make this girl look like she’s standing on a bridge is so abysmally crafted that I was laughing more at that bad effect than anything that came out of these characters’ mouths. The girl looks like she’s floating in front of this stock footage of a bridge. Hell, it also looks like the drop into the river wouldn’t be any higher than fifteen to twenty feet; this girl is going to be fine. No drop that small is going to kill anyone.

That drop isn't killing anyone.
That drop isn't killing anyone.

The most tragic thing about this whole film is that this actress portraying this emotionally disturbed young woman on the bridge is actually really good and is hands down the best performer in the entire movie. This actress’s name is Kailena Mai, personally I haven’t encountered her work prior to Loqueesha, but I can tell that Kailena Mai is a genuinely professional actor that took even this hunk of junk seriously while she delivered a very solid performance. If there’s anything positive that can come out of this movie, let it be that Kailena Mai gets some positive attention from her work here and she moves onto far greater things. Kailena, wherever you are, I hope that your career is blossoming beautifully after the terrors you must have endured on the set of this stinker. You were the brightest highlight of this extraordinarily gloomy voyage I’m on with Loqueesha. Thank you.

Thank you, Kailena Mai.
Thank you, Kailena Mai.

Onto the Oprah Subplot

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No, this isn't his personal email that they blurred out his other contacts on at all.
No, this isn't his personal email that they blurred out his other contacts on at all.
No, this isn't his personal email that they blurred out his other contacts on at all.

Loqueesha’s name is now making nationally big waves and has caught the eye of Oprah Winfrey, via email. Offering Loqueesha the opportunity of a lifetime with providing her very own television show. This brings quite the dilemma to our hero, Joe… He says no for obvious reasons. That doesn’t sit well though with his public appearance body double, Renee (Mara Hall), as she insists that Joe takes on the Oprah gig or else she will expose his secret to the world. Dun dun dun.

Renee is mean.
Renee is mean.

Holy mother of God, I am so sick of typing about this movie. This is getting to the point of mental violation. I can’t stand it anymore. It’s been two days since I started writing this review. Two days! Making this the seventh day that I’ve had to live with Loqueesha on my deteriorating psyche. It’s official, I’m losing my mind. I don’t know who I am anymore. Somebody help me. Kill me. Just do it, put a gun up to my head and pull the trigger, you cowards! I don’t want to be alive anymore in a world that Loqueesha has dug its way into my memories forever. Help me. I need to be stopped. Stop this review. Don’t let it go on anymore. This is madness. Madness. She infests my soul, everything I know is Loqueesha. I AM LOQUEESHA!!!

An accurate reenactment of my mental breakdown.
An accurate reenactment of my mental breakdown.

Twenty Minutes After My Very Own Mental Breakdown

I apologize for the outburst… let us resume, shall we.

Renee forces Joe to make a decision to accept the Oprah Winfrey offer or suffer the wrath of a mad black woman. Joe chooses to quit radio instead. Rather than Renee doing what she threatened, she takes over the radio show from Joe. Dun dun dun. How no one notices that these two voices are obviously two completely different people is beyond me. I’ll assume that everyone in this fictional depiction of Detroit is racist and assumes that all black women sound alike.

No one notices that this isn't the same person.
No one notices that this isn't the same person.

{Pausing while I hold myself together, in hopes to finally finish this damn critique today.}

About ten minutes later, Renee proves that she does not have the true magic touch of Loqueesha. She runs back to Joe’s apartment to beg for his forgiveness and return to the show. Not even God would forgive this movie. In the middle of Renee’s apologies to white boy Joe, she says and I quote, “Okay, I messed up! You want me to admit it? There I said it. You’re a better black woman than I am”. “You’re a better black woman than I am”. What insane universe am I living in where a grown black woman tells a middle aged white dude that he’s a “better black woman” than she is? What is this?! Where the f*ck am I right now?! This is Detroit?? Somebody drugged me, I know it.

Real quote from movie: “You’re a better black woman than I am”.
Real quote from movie: “You’re a better black woman than I am”.

Joe is Jesus

Joe repents for his sins and admits the truth to the radio executives that he was Loqueesha all along. Logically speaking, his ass would be fired and the whole fiasco would be immediately swept under the rug without hesitation. In Loqueesha world, they hear Joe out and they offer him a chance to keep him on as a radio host, specifically remaining under the Loqueesha guise. Their conversation eventually leads them all to the conclusion that Joe should broadcast his confession and apology to all the listeners. Because we as a society are a forgiving people that don’t hold any ill feelings or judgements towards any celebrity that finds themselves inside of a controversy. Nope. Not at all. Kevin Spacey, Louis C.K., Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein; they’re all in good spots with their careers after certain allegations came to light. Plus with everything in a political and racial climate going on today, I say that Joe will be fine in the world of 2019. A white man falsely portraying on radio to be a black woman while attempting to depict her with the most stereotypical voice imaginable so he can cash in some big bucks. Completely abusing this cultural identity for his own benefit. Nobody will mind.

Leaving the option up to the people of Detroit whether Joe should keep portraying Loqueesha, continue on as himself, or leave the entertainment industry altogether; they of course choose Loqueesha and Joe to stay on the radio as their respective personas with their own shows. The writing really captures the gritty realism of our own world, doesn’t it? Oh, by the way, Joe and Rachel get together. Joe still pays for his son’s education on his own. Renee I guess is doing her own thing. Jumper girl is possibly plummeting to her death off the Eiffel Tower of Paris. And I’ve finally reached the end of the narrative. What a nightmare this has been. Never again will I succumb to this hellish thing. I feel so empty inside.

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Because I'm the star and the director and I get the hot chick!By the way, he barely spends any time with his kid.
Because I'm the star and the director and I get the hot chick!
Because I'm the star and the director and I get the hot chick!
By the way, he barely spends any time with his kid.
By the way, he barely spends any time with his kid.

On a Technical Aspect

This is the worst looking film that I have seen so far this year, specifically on a visual standpoint. Everything from the cinematography to the special effects aren’t good enough to be qualified as “amateurish”. I’ve seen amateur filmmakers work with significantly smaller budgets to still turn out more visually appealing and professionally crafted products than Loqueesha. Loqueesha is an ugly picture that gets uglier as the seconds trudge by. Doesn’t help matters when 99% of the acting, with the exception of Kailena Mai who was marvelous, can’t even measure up to bad sitcom quality. There’s simply nothing competent about the filmmaking, writing, acting, or editing of this feature. It’s crystal clear to me that no one on set either knew or cared about a single thing that they were doing here. Providing the bare minimum and moving onto the next filmmaking chore on their to-do lists.

There are problems with this film on a technical aspect that make no sense at all as to why they are present. Easiest thing to notice is the fact that no television set onscreen is actually being used to watch whatever programs is supposedly being projected since all the footage is spliced in with terrible chromakeying in post-production. Of course all the glaring green screen in scenes that should never call for such. As bad as those examples are, they aren’t the most confusing of the bunch. For instance, Joe gets an iPhone and for whatever reason, I guess they didn’t have the rights to call it an iPhone and they dub out Joe’s line that calls his new phone an iPhone and hastily ADR’s a line over his pre-existing footage to call it a smart phone instead. Why? I don’t know, but it’s so blatant that wasn’t close to sounding remotely natural from the actor’s mouth that it was jarring to hear. I don’t even think the dubbing voice actor was actually Jeremy Saville, I’m pretty sure they brought in some random dude into their recording booth to say “smart phone” real quick and edited it in there last second. Another random moment I noticed on my unfortunate second viewing was that there is a post-production blur effect applied over Joe’s own headphones to hide the Sony label, but only for a couple of shots and not even the entirety of the scene. What was the point of that other than to make your movie look even cheaper?

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Blur special effect on his headphone.No more blur special effect.This looks legit.I'm totally convinced this TV is actually turned on.Did they take that picture of his "son" that day?Definitely a newspaper.
Blur special effect on his headphone.
Blur special effect on his headphone.
No more blur special effect.
No more blur special effect.
This looks legit.
This looks legit.
I'm totally convinced this TV is actually turned on.
I'm totally convinced this TV is actually turned on.
Did they take that picture of his "son" that day?
Did they take that picture of his "son" that day?
Definitely a newspaper.
Definitely a newspaper.

Overall

On a technical end, this is possibly the worst film of 2019. Loqueesha is tonally deaf, ugly, racially/politically naïve, and downright unfunny. From a moral standpoint, I don’t think I could actually call this the absolute worst film of the year though since there was another that really took the cake in that department. Doesn’t take away that Loqueesha is a pretty bad product that I’m still in amazement on how this was made today. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to watch a comedy that really pushes the limits of our sensitive society’s comfort zones and completely dispose of political correctness in order to provide some hilarious satire. Loqueesha is not satire. Loqueesha is not funny. Loqueesha doesn’t have a brain in its head. Loqueesha just sucks.

One of the most bizarre occurrences on the day I watched Loqueesha though was later that evening I came across a fantastic film that I had watched last year called Blindspotting. Blindspotting takes a lot of similar elements about racial stereotypes and identities to inject them in thought provoking and hysterical scenarios. Blindspotting delves into these themes in intelligent and actually funny ways, something that Loqueesha was so hopeless at achieving. Watch Blindspotting if you want something smart, funny, and genuinely heartfelt. Or if you really have an urge to watch an insightfully sassy black female as a radio host that drives a white middle aged man crazy, watch the episode of Frasier; “Something About Dr. Mary”. That episode is a million times smarter and funnier while also only twenty minutes long as opposed to the dreadful 100 minute length of Loqueesha. Never watch Loqueesha.

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Blindspotting. One of the best films of 2018."There's Something About Dr. Mary". One of funniest episodes of 'Frasier'.
Blindspotting. One of the best films of 2018.
Blindspotting. One of the best films of 2018.
"There's Something About Dr. Mary". One of funniest episodes of 'Frasier'.
"There's Something About Dr. Mary". One of funniest episodes of 'Frasier'.

If my fellow readers are thinking to themselves that it can’t be all bad. John Plocar is exaggerating because he can’t take a joke. He wouldn’t know what was funny if it bit him in the ass. Oh yeah? Alright, if that’s how you feel. I dare you to watch this abomination. Have no fear, it’s completely free to watch and not illegal by any stretch on the website TubiTV.com. I’ll leave a link down below for any brave soul willing to test their comedic limits for the almighty Loqueesha. Good luck.

Even the advertisements for other movies look ashamed to be plastered next to this horrendous thing called 'Loqueesha'.
Even the advertisements for other movies look ashamed to be plastered next to this horrendous thing called 'Loqueesha'.

That’s All Folks…

Loqueesha… You know what I thought. What do you think? Like or dislike? Agree or disagree? Wish Jeremy Saville would fall down an elevator shaft? Comment down below and let me know! Also, if you so happened to have enjoyed my review then please do me a favor and share this article around the social media world. Thank you all so much for reading and have yourselves a better week than mine.

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    © 2019 John Plocar

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