"Kingsman: The Golden Circle" Movie Review

Updated on September 26, 2017
Source

No one will ever accuse Matthew Vaughn of being subtle, and we can reasonably sure he wouldn’t want that anyway. But even fans of his last three directorial efforts (2010’s Kick-Ass, 2011’s X-Men: First Class, and 2015’s Kingsman: The Secret Service) might find themselves wishing he could have pumped the brakes just a little on his latest.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle is such a vertiginous frenzy of fast edits, tumbling camera work, and sub-sophomoric humor that it comes off as a stern middle finger (or two...or twenty) from Vaughn to anyone who thought the original Kingsman was simply too much. (Count me among them.) Secret Service topped $400 million at the box office, after all, and if money talks, Vaughn listened and then decided that if some is good, a whole lot more is better.

Alas, it’s not.

Moving past the over-the-top antics (both behind the camera and in front), Circle is a mess. Entire story lines make no sense, promising characters are introduced and then (literally) put on ice for the duration, and screenwriter Jane Goldman can’t seem to grasp the difference between satire and flat-out silliness. And, clocking in at 141 minutes, it’s not over quickly.

Taron Egerton reprises his role as Eggsy, a James Bond Junior who was recruited to join the Kingsmen in the first film and has since graduated to being the Brit agency’s go-to operative. He’s also shacking up with Swedish Crown Princess Tilde (Hanna Alström), the same lass who offered up her, ahem, self to him in the first film. And Mark Strong returns as Kingsman gadget guy Merlin. All fine. But it’s the appearance (and subsequent explanation) of Colin Firth as Harry Hart that just goes to show that any plot point is possible (however implausible) if the studio demands a sequel along with the reprisal of the franchise’s biggest star.

Sure Hart was shot and killed rather emphatically at the end of Secret Service, but dammit, who cares? Well, we all should when it leads to an hour-long daft subplot about how Hart is a hopeless amnesiac spending his days in a padded cell sketching butterflies. If Goldman can go through the trouble of inventing goofy technology that can save people from point-blank bullets to the brain, why not just go all-in and have him cured at the outset, and save us all the tedium?

In the meantime, drug kingpin Poppy Adams (Julianne Moore, ridiculous in perhaps the worst role she’s ever been given) is a 50s nostalgia-loving baddie who throws her adversaries in a meat grinder whenever they sneeze backwards. She’s so Dr Evil-ish that she’s even gone and kidnapped Elton John, so she can have him belt out “Daniel” whenever she fancies.

After she blows up all the Kingsman offices, the good-guy Brits have no choice but to team up with their Stateside colleagues, a gaggle of Southern-drawlin’ cowboys who use a whiskey distillery as their front. Jeff Bridges plays honcho Champagne (though he asks to be called “Champ”, because of course he does), Channing Tatum (in a glorified cameo) is Tequila, and Halle Berry and Pedro Pascal round out the not-so-wild bunch.

The whole thing is so preposterous (and yes, I know that it’s supposed to be, at least on some level) that it just becomes a non-stop orgy of head-scratching weirdness, occasionally punctuated by a halfway-decent shootout. If that’s your cup of tea (or shot of whiskey), have at it. Me, I prefer something that doesn’t seem to be trying so hard to kick its own ass.

Rating

2/5 stars

'Kingsman: The Golden Circle' trailer

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, reelrundown.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://reelrundown.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)