Questioning the Intelligence of the Avengers: 'Infinity War' Analysis
I thoroughly enjoyed Infinity War. I really did. It's a good movie. I must confess, I'm not a Marvel-crazy fan. I'm not oblivious about the happenings of the MCU, but I'm not quite the 'watch the latest movie on a loop for a month and memorize each line' kind of fanatic, if you know what I mean. And I probably would not have liked Infinity War half as much if I hadn't watched it in 3D, in the company of an actual die-hard Marvel fan, with the screams of the very hyper audience making me scream with them like I'm just as crazy as they are. But I did. So I loved the movie. And I hope I do not receive death threats in the mail for my little rant about some of my opinions about Infinity War—in particular, the things that are wrong with it.
WARNING: STAY AWAY IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR YET!! SPOILER ALERT!! CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!
The thing about the movie is that the Avengers seem to be a group of not particularly intelligent people with an enormous amount of principles that they put above just about everything else. Saving the universe is all well and good until they have to do something that goes even the slightest bit against their sense of morality and all that. Thanos won because he was logical, intelligent, and had the balls to do what needs to be done to do what he thought was right. The Titan and his misguided intentions might have destroyed half the universe, but he never could've done it without the help of the Avengers with all their right intentions. Thanos was willing to sacrifice what he loved to cause the destruction of half the universe. But not a single one of the Avengers was willing to let another's death be a black mark on their conscience to save the same damn universe.
Let's start from the beginning. Loki, the Tesseract, Thor and a Hulk. Loki could've let Thor die. But he didn't. Not that I'm not grateful for that because I probably would've walked right out the theater if Thor was killed off in the first sequence. But there's probably more to Loki's plan because if he really did die thinking he could kill a Hulk-defeating Titan with a butter knife then that would be incredibly disappointing. Another thing, Heimdall choosing to beam away Hulk as his last act. Couldn't he have beamed away Loki and the Tesseract? Or perhaps Thor? They could've warned Earth just as well.
By the way, I did not appreciate Valkyrie's absence from the movie. Though I did appreciate the news of her survival.
On to the next, Starlord could've probably killed Gamora if he acted quickly enough. Or Gamora could've killed herself if she acted quick enough. But no. They take their sweet time doing it, making it obvious to the Titan with the power to bend reality just exactly what they are trying to do, giving him more than enough time to bubble-ify everything. But I'll give that to Starlord because he loves Gamora and whatnot, and I'll give it to Gamora because its really hard to kill yourself- no matter how much you want to.
Can we just take a moment here to acknowledge one thing that was absolutely right with the movie? The scene with the Guardians of the Galaxy gang and the rescued Thor is just pure gold. Just so, so, good. Okay then, back to our more critical observations.
The Soul Stone- Gamora gives away the location after seeing like 5 seconds of Nebula being tortured. Come on- I expected a little more from her. The sheer ball-lessness of the Avengers amaze me. She's a smart girl- just think for a second. Come up with a better idea! And of course, Thanos does what he has to do, ie; kill Gamora, even if it hurts, because he knows that's the only way. You know if instead of the entire Avengers horde, we had half a Thanos on our side, everything would've been just fine. It starts to feel like Thanos is the good guy and the Avengers are the bad guys, because they do a hell of a lot more harm than good.
That brings us to the next idiotic scene. You know how they mesmerize Thanos and spend about 5 minutes trying to pull the damn gauntlet off? Let me ask you this. Did it not occur to anyone to maybe just cut the arm off or something? Sharp knife, chop it goes? No? Okay fine maybe Thanos has super tough arm muscles or whatever. Moving on there's really no need to point out Starlord's idiotic move. That's the only one that everyone seems to agree is, in fact, stupid. But that's not exactly fair. The rest of the Avengers are just as stupid really. Just more subtle. Not fair that Starlord gets all the hate. And then there's Dr. Strange giving up the time stone seemingly to save Tony Stark, but his saying 'This was the only way' leads us to believe there's more to it. Perhaps an alternative future that Strange saw where this somehow leads to the ultimate victory. But why didn't he just kill himself then, if he saw himself dying as a part of Thanos's doomed half anyway. If he was dead then it would've been pretty hard for Thanos to take the time stone out of the spell. No Time Stone, no bringing back the Mind Stone. Might've given enough time for Thor to show up and finish Thanos for good.
Speaking of Thor and his weapon, we see that Thanos left, Tyrion Lannister- er, I mean the Dwarf, Eitri, you know who I mean- alive. All through the movie Thanos really doesn't kill anyone that doesn't need to be killed. He just swats them aside out of his way. He really isn't unnecessarily cruel. He's just doing what he's gotta do.
The final stone is really the icing on the Avengers' screwed up priorities cake. The Mind Stone. This is where the combined force of the Avengers- Cap, Natasha, Banner, T'Challa, all of them, decides that one person's life is worth half the universes'. The chance of saving Vision against the risk of universal destruction. I mean it was a goddamn unanimous decision. The whole of Wakanda went to war for it. Because, and this is the point I've been trying to make all along, because if Thanos destroyed half the universe it wouldn't be the Avengers' fault, not really. But if they decided to destroy the Mind Stone knowing it would kill Vision, then they would have to live with that on their conscience for the rest of their righteous lives, assuming they survive. Or if that wasn't it, they still basically decided to risk half of the universe dying, to save one of their own. I mean, Wanda's in love with Vision, whats the rest of their excuses? That honestly seems way more unfair than Thanos' genocide, where at least the choosing is supposedly random. Granted, even if the Mind Stone was destroyed, Thanos could've just turned back time, but they didn't know that. Could've made it a little harder for Thanos, just a bit. At least try a little would ya?
And finally, we have Thor. The All-mighty-wielding-a-super-powerful-brand-new-axe-should've-aimed-for-the-goddamn-head Thor. Once again I raise my idea. Don't even aim for the head. If Thor had half a brain inside that beautiful head he should've aimed for the damn hand. That axe can surely pierce Thanos's thick hide, so chop off the hand and all the stones with it. But I guess Thor thought a blow with his mighty axe and newly inflated ego would be more than enough to kill Thanos. Sigh! I rest my case.
Just about every one of the Avengers had the chance to ruin Thanos's entire thing, and every one of them screwed up. Not exactly the brightest bunch are they? And even if they bring back all the people that went poof, (According to a helpful website, I'm not one of them so, Phew!) plenty would still be dead. Gamora, for sure. I liked Gamora. Another problem I see is that though Thanos's selection is supposed to be random, the half that got poofed out of existence did not conveniently include any of the original Avengers. It was an almost perfect cut. Captain America and goddamn Iron Man are still alive. Could've killed at least one of those arrogant bastards. Oooh, I'm gonna die for that. I mean if you think about it if the Avengers had stayed well and away from the game, Thanos wouldn't have won. Only Gamora knew where the Soul Stone was and if it wasn't for Loki the Tesseract would've burned with Asgard.
So in conclusion, the Avengers caused the destruction of half the population of the universe because they are power-hungry, righteous, refuses to get off their high horses and is completely ball-less and just plain stupid.
Still, good movie.
In case anybody else is curious about whether they would've been a part of the fortunate or unfortunate half of the universe after Thanos went snap... http://www.didthanoskill.me/ Good luck!
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