A Mean Cup'a Joe: Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Spoilers)

Updated on December 26, 2017
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Divorced after 18 years. Joe specializes in helping men transition from "Husband" to "Divorced Dad" by waking you up with a Mean Cup'a Joe.

Addressing the Top Complaints of The Last Jedi

Hello fellow travelers, I'm not sure if you heard but there is a new Star Wars movie in theaters right now. Thanks to Disney we can expect a new Star Wars Movie every year, forever. I love Star Wars. I loved The Force Awakens, and I loved The Last Jedi. These were great additions to the Star Wars Universe. This will not necessarily be a review per se, but a reaction to all the haters of the new movies. The complaints I will be addressing are:

  • Luke is not "Luke."
  • Rey is a "Mary Sue" and her lineage.
  • We never find out about Snoke.

My Star Wars Credentials

I have been a fan for 40 years, I mean I grew up with it. I saw Star Wars, yes "Star Wars" not "A New Hope", in the theater first run. All of the Original Trilogy movies were released a few weeks before my birthday. One of the first phrases I ever said as a two-year-old was "Oh no, poor R2-D2" while I was sitting on my Dad's lap watching Star Wars in the theatre as he was shot by the Jawas. Then for my fifth birthday, my Dad took me to see Empire. My older cousin Debbie took me to see Jedi for my 9th birthday. Inbetween this time, I had collected all the toys; I had the Darth Vader carrying case for all my action figures, I had the Death Star playset, I had an X-Wing, The Millenium Falcon, The Sand Speeder, Dubac, ( yes the lizard the stormtroopers ride on while looking for the droids on Tatooine). Slave one, Dagobah playset, you name it I probably had the toy. I had Star Wars bed sheets, curtains, underoos, plates, bowls, shoes. Yes, I was exactly the "stay on target" audience for whom George Lucas was shooting and he turned off his targeting computer and fired his proton torpedoes into the exhaust port of my heart.

I have had all three movies on some kind of personal viewing capacity there is known to man. I was a bit taken aback by the name change of "Star Wars" to "A New Hope" and the whole "episode" thing. I knew George wanted to make a 9 part series ( I watched every Star Wars behind the scenes special and show I could) so I dealt with it in hopes of future cinematic adventures of Luke Skywalker and company.

Book Luke is NOT Movie Luke

The books ruined Star Wars for me. Now we have 187 million different books and comics and games that added to the Star Wars Expanded Universe. The EU made Luke Skywalker almost a God in his control of the Force. Fans couldn't wait to see Luke jump from the pages of these book on to the big screen and kick ass.There was so much speculation as to how much ass-kicking Luke was going to do. All the hopes and dreams of fans were crushed by one action, Luke Skywalker taking his father's lightsaber from Rey and tossing over his shoulder into the water below. This changed Luke from the omnipotent superbeing people wanted him to be, to a scared old hermit. This movie made Luke into a failure and people hate it. He failed at training Ben Solo. He failed at making a school for Jedi. What would you expect from a kid who was 16 years too old to start the training? What do you expect from a kid that had a few weeks of training by jumping and running with a little guy on his back? What do you expect from a guy that was basically told to kill his Dad then ... "yeah, sure you're a Jedi now". Even Mark Hamil said Luke was all wrong in this movie.

I am about to explain the fatal flaw in this line of thinking. So here we are in the Death Star. Luke is fighting Vader. How did Luke defeat Vadar? Did he do it with superior skill? Did he do it due to a deeper understanding of the Force? No, he got mad when Vadar threatened Leia and proceeded to pummel Vadar within an inch of his life. Anger, lead to hate. Hate, lead to fear. Fear, lead to suffering. Once he saw what he was doing he stopped.

What these "fans" fail to see, due to "book blindness" is, Luke had a GREAT arch. Yes, he was a grumpy old man. His own nephew, whom he trained, is now becoming like his old man, the galaxy's leading ass hole. This is would most definitely hinder you from wanting to train any more Jedi. Despite this, Luke sees the error of his ways and sacrifices himself by using every last bit of Force power he has to project himself to the planet where the Resistance is fighting the New Republic. Luke then stalls the New Republic long enough for the Resistance to escape. Then when everyone is safe he can die in peace knowing he helped his sister and redeemed himself. That's one hell of an arch for our hero.

HA! Ma-Rey Sue's Parents are Nobodies!

"No, I, am your father" is probably one of the most iconic lines in any movie. We were all shocked when Vadar said this line. Top that with Luke and Leia being brother and sister and it set the precedence that now everyone in Star Wars has to be related to someone else.

For two years all we heard was "Rey is Luke's daughter!" and "Rey is Obi-wan's daughter". This was so refreshing that her parents were junkers who just left her to rot on Jakuu.

About Rey being a "Mary Sue", she's the main character in this trilogy, of course, she is a Mary Sue! Did you get upset when kid Anakin was able to fly a Naboo fighter and blow up the Droid command ship?

HA! Snoke is a nobody!

Sorry guys but all your speculation as to the "real" identity of Supreme Leader Snoke was a waste of time. Again thanks to the EU, fans were hoping Skone was any one of the obscure Sith Lords that had been mentioned in the books. This is why his death was so unsatisfying, Kylo Ren stole any hope of some ultimate battle by killing Snoke so easily. Fans were denied the awesome fight between Luke and Snoke.

If you look into the ways of the Sith, though, you will notice that it all falls into place. There are a Master and an apprentice. The apprentice becomes a master by killing his master. This is what Kylo Ren did.

Disney Trolled all of you

Who is Supreme Leader Snoke?

See results

Honorable mention: Leia In Space

Ok, this part of the movie was really stupid and I didn't like it at all.

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