CelebritiesMoviesTVAnimationFilm Industry

31 Days of Halloween Movie Marathon 2017

Updated on November 9, 2017
Alec Zander profile image

Alec is a film critic with a true passion for the film industry & hopes his reviews and articles will help launch his career.

Prologue

My second annual Halloween marathon was full of good and bad films, all of which will be reviewed and listed in this article. 31 Days, 109 movies, one hell of a month!

Section 1: Serial Killers

  • American Psycho - American Psycho put Christian Bale on the map and launched him from a forgettable nobody to the powerhouse actor he is today. This film causes you to think twice about your neighbors and makes you wonder if people really are who they say they are. American Psycho gets a 4 out of 4.
  • Blackcoat's Daughter - Slow and confusing, the acting and the amazing twists are what keep this film afloat. I give it a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Child's Play - Child's Play may have a ridiculous plot but it still knew how to get you engaged in the film, build up suspense, and keep you on edge. Also I have to give the crew a hearty pat on the back for the doll animatronics. That was very well done for the 80s! I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Child's Play 2 - Child's Play 2 surpassed the original in every way from story to acting to suspense. The killer doll aspect though is still a bit ridiculous but then again what could possibly be scarier to a kid than the thing he turns to for comfort at night turning against him? I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Child's Play 3 - Child's Play 3 takes what was a great two-parter and sends the series into decline. We find Andy in military academy now and Chucky is brought back to life by accident which results in the menace vowing revenge.
    Have you ever watched Gilligan's Island and thought they'd actually get off the island this time? Well, that's how this film was. It's started to become a parody of itself and every time Chucky thinks he's got the upper hand he has to freeze because someone's walked into the room. Like Toy Story only with knives and adult language. I give the film a 1.5 out of 4.
  • Bride of Chucky - Bride of Chucky didn't have much of a plot, or thrills, but it was a hilarious good time. Jennifer Tilly was a welcome addition to the cast. It was fun seeing diabolical Charles Lee "Chucky" Ray have to deal with a former-flame-turned-murderess-doll. I give the film a 2 out of 4.
  • Seed of Chucky - Seed of Chucky was obviously scraping the bottom of the barrel. Aside from its ridiculous plot, it becomes a parody by having Jennifer Tilly play herself and Tiffany. It amazes me that Tiffany didn't even say something like "She looks exactly like I used to!". And then add to the mix the son/daughter of Chucky that can't decide what he wants to be, both sexually and in reputation. The film just gets to be a bit too silly. At least Bride of Chucky was smart humor. Seed of Chucky is all-around bad.
    I give it 0 out of 4 and I sentence the film to Death by Exile!
  • Curse of Chucky - Curse of Chucky is the soft reboot we fans both needed and deserved. It returned to the chilling roots and gave us some more background info on Charles Lee Ray. I also loved how you think it'll take the predictable "husband having an affair with the young hot nanny" route because apparently that's how men are seen but instead twists it so it's the wife having the affair with the nanny. Surprise! The ending wasn't explained too well but do stick around for the end credits sequence. It's fantastic! I give the film a 3 out of 4.
  • Cult of Chucky - Cult of Chucky continues the thrilling fun, adding a bit of confusion along the way. According to Chucky, he can now split his soul into multiple bodies at once. He "found a nifty new voodoo spell by searching the web" which enabled him and Tiffany to do this. I felt this was a bit flimsy but it works considering literally everything can be found online now. The story could be a bit confusing at times but it still kept my interest. Oh, by the way, the end credit scene had me cheering and wanting the next one! It has a nice surprise which I shall not spoil! I give the film a 3 out of 4.
  • Dahmer - Dahmer was rather disappointing. It was not the story of Jeffrey Dahmer the cannibal but rather Jeffrey Dahmer the misunderstood confused young man. We only see his first steps to becoming a killer rather than his cannibalistic later kills. Jeremy Renner has the creep factor down perfectly and there's one suspenseful moment in the film but the rest of it is just slow and boring. Sadly I have to give this film 1 out of 4.
  • Eyes of My Mother - Slow, contemplative, and absolutely disturbing, this film delivered the shocks but very few actual scares. The tone set the film apart from the rest but there's not much going on. It's very slow and sometimes it's hard to stay awake. I give the film a 3 out of 4.
  • Friday the 13th - Friday the 13th has the perfect build up and the perfect level of suspense but towards the end it falters and starts getting too drawn out and repetitive. I give the film a 3 out of 4.
  • Friday the 13th Part II - Only part 2 and the inconsistencies already begin? Well, the film is pretty much more of the same except Jason has now resurrected to avenge his mother's death. But...the dog was killed earlier in the film and suddenly it's alive at the end. Not sure how that works but okay. I give the film a 2 out of 4.
  • Friday the 13th Part III - Friday the 13th Part 3D has more of the same mediocre acting and high body count but what really gets me is that there have been two massacres at Camp Crystal Lake now. Why do people keep going there? The 3D effects were actually fun and well done for its time. Some could be cheesy but most of them worked. It certainly wasn't the travesty that Jaws 3D was. I give the film a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter - Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is actually a legit entry in the series. Corey Feldman was a much-needed and welcome addition to the cast. The film wrapped up what little story there was from the previous films and gave us a great finale. Too bad this wasn't the actual finale. I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Nightmare on Elm Street - A Nightmare on Elm Street is one film that I have always revered as one of the best slashers ever made. The idea that your nightmares can actually kill you is frightening enough but then add the element of the spirit of a dead child killer taking revenge on your kid because you helped kill him....well that's a whole other level entirely. Great plot, great thrills and suspense, and of course a great first role for Johnny Depp - I give the film a 4 out of 4.
  • Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning - Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning is definitely one of the better entries in the series. Instead of resurrecting Jason AGAIN, the writers focused on the damage that a traumatic event takes on the psyche. I loved the approach and the different direction this film took. It was very human and real rather than yet another lake massacre. Speaking of lakes, THANK GOD they left Crystal Lake alone this time. That was getting old fast. I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge sadly doesn't live up to the original's suspenseful genius. This one was rather dull and lifeless compared to its predecessor. Robert Englund was the only saving grace as he seems to continually have tons of fun with this role. I give it a 2 out of 4.
  • Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives - Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives is as lifeless as Jason. It moves around and slaughters the audience's brain cells while staring at the new hole in your head then moves on as if it was never there. It completely ignores the ending to part 5 and starts with Tommy headed to cremate Jason's remains then accidentally resurrects him. It was painfully evident this entry was just stretching as far as it could to generate more sequels. I give this film a 0 out of 4 and hereby sentence it to Death by Exile!
  • Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors wasn't that bad. At least this one had some substance to it and tried to live up to the first. It had a good plot and introduced us to the wonderfully talented Patricia Arquette and Laurence Fishburne. Heather Lagenkamp even returned to finish her character's arc. So since this one actually put in effort, I give it a 3 out of 4.
  • Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood - Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood tried to introduce something new to the series which did help the film in the long run but sadly there's only so much rehashing you can do before it becomes stale. I do give credit to the writers for giving this some actual effort. The film gets a 2 out of 4.
  • Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master lies somewhere between mediocre and boring. It wasn't so bad that I hated it but it wasn't so good that I'd recommend it either. I give the film a 1.5 out of 4.
  • Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan - Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan was a nice breath of fresh air after so many lackluster sequels. There were funny moments and there were the usual moments but it felt like the writers were actually trying this time. I give the film a 3 out of 4.
  • Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child - A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child is by far the best of all the sequels. It actually uses some imagination and gives us one wild, fun, crazy ride. There were some parts that could be a little too silly but the revealing backstory into Freddy's life overshadowed the silliness. I give the film a 3 out of 4.
  • Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare - Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare reveals the final puzzle piece to Freddy's past and concludes the story arc. The story arc, not the movies. The film actually returned to its roots, keeping a few silly moments but mostly telling a great story with some hard-hitting punches. This is the best film in the series since the original. I give it a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Friday the 13th Part IX: Jason Goes to Hell - Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday went back on its own mythology and created something new. For instance, Jason has had the same rotting body for 8 films and suddenly now he can switch bodies at will. He apparently has a sister which was never mentioned before. So much potential with this film wasted by contradicting itself too many times. I give this film a 1.5 out of 4.
  • Freddy vs Jason - Freddy vs. Jason is the duel we slasher fans have been waiting for. There's contradictions galore and the acting isn't that good but the duels are fun and fantastic. Unfortunately, that can't save the film. I give it a 2 out of 4.
  • New Nightmare - New Nightmare is a fantastic standalone film that not only shows the effects of horror on young minds but also what it would truly be like if our nightmares could in fact come to life and harm us. The story brought the thrills and chills back and reminded us just how horrifying Freddy really is. I give the film a 4 out of 4.
  • Jason X - Jason X is the sequel that never should have been made...or thought of for that matter. Many times I couldn't tell if this was a Friday the 13th sequel or a crappy Syfy channel movie. The acting was atrocious, the story was absolutely ridiculous, and the set design made a high school stage play look like a Tony Award contender. The film gets a 0 out of 4 and is hereby sentenced to Death by Exile!
  • Friday the 13th - Friday the 13th 2009 works as both a reboot and a sequel to the original if you disregard all the other sequels. It took the series back to its roots and gave you an actual good history behind Jason. The problem I had with it was all the male-oriented jokes. (Hockey stick curves to the left like a penis - really?) Overall it was one of the better reboots but still had a ton of unnecessary crap in it. I give the film a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Nightmare on Elm Street - A Nightmare on Elm Street had a good idea in casting Jackie Earl Haley, but the film as a whole failed to deliver the terror the original did and also changed Freddy's history entirely. It was disappointing to say the least. The film gets a 1 out of 4.
  • Grindhouse: Death Proof - Grindhouse: Death Proof was Tarantino as his classy self, bringing back the bad ass women out for revenge story. Kurt Russell is fantastic as the film's antagonist and makes the film all the better. I've also always enjoyed Vanessa Ferlito and Rose McGowan was also a welcome sight. I give the film a 4 out of 4.
  • Hannibal Rising - Hannibal Rising details the origins of Hannibal Lecter and the trials he endured which led him on the pathway to becoming a notorious serial cannibal. The film was good but the one thing I'd like to mention is that, even though you see the pain and hardship Hannibal went through, there's no emotion in them. It's like you can see it play out but you can't feel it. Maybe it's the way the screenplay is written or perhaps it's the actor but I couldn't get inside Hannibal's head like I could with the other films. I give Hannibal Rising a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Hannibal: Manhunter - Manhunter was a decent thriller but lacked much of the psychological elements that makes the book in which it is based on truly terrifying. Hannibal has very little presence in this film and, although Brian Cox is a fine actor, he isn't creepy or unnerving in any way. The editing was a bit shoddy toward the end which also hurt the film's quality. The acting was good all around but wasn't anything to write home about. I give the film a 2 out of 4.
  • Hannibal: Red Dragon - Red Dragon was a much improved take on the story, leaving Manhunter in the past and giving us the one true Hannibal - Anthony Hopkins. I did however enjoy William Petersen's version of Will Graham over Ed Norton's, but everything else from writing to acting to directing is far superior here. I give the film a 4 out of 4.
  • Hannibal: Silence of the Lambs - The Silence of the Lambs is as dark as it is genius. Anthony Hopkins is brilliant as Hannibal Lecter, to the point that no one could ever replace him. The story, acting, writing... everything was spectacular. I give the film a 4 out of 4.
  • Hannibal - Hannibal continues the story of Hannibal the Cannibal Lecter, only this time he's not helping hunt a killer, he's the one being hunted. His escape proved to be fruitful for he's found some people in need of his twisted sense of justice. The only negative about the film is the switch from Jodie Foster to Julianne Moore. Julianne just didn't have the character perfected like Jodie did, however, Julianne gave it her best. I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • I Know What You Did Last Summer - I Know What You Did Last Summer is by far one of the best slashers of the modern era. The only problem with it is Freddie Prinze Jr's laughable acting. I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • I Still Know What You Did Last Summer - I Still Know What You Did Last Summer is a good movie until Brandy's boyfriend is killed. After that, it's a great movie! The ending was the standard horror cop out ending which made no sense at all. The acting was improved...then again maybe it was also because Freddie Prinze Jr only had a handful of scenes. The first I Know...is far better but I Still Know... is a decent follow up that could have been better in several areas. I give the film a 2.5 out of 4.
  • I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer - I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer is a good example of what not to do in a series. Don't take a series that had a human killer with a personal motive and turn it into a supernatural killer with zero motive. Basically they stated that the Fisherman Killer from the first two films became so immortalized in news articles and papers that a legend was born which came to life and started terrorizing people because it could. Wha-? I give this film a 0 out of 4 and therefore sentence it to Death by Exile!
  • Jigsaw - This new installment of the Saw franchise gave you something to think about and focused on story more than how much gore it could dish out. I gave it a 3 out of 4.
  • Joy Ride - Joy Ride has it all: suspense, story, humor, great performances...it's the perfect thriller. The only issue I have is that it's not clear exactly how Rusty Nail convinced another trucker to not only help him but also to to fake out the call in the room. It didn't look like there was a CB set up in the room. How'd he pull that off? Anyway, the film itself is so fantastic that I can overlook that little issue. I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Joy Ride 2 - Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead changes things for the worst. In the first film, Rusty Nail was a regular trucker teaching some pranksters a lesson. In this one, he's a guy that enjoys torturing and killing people. There was nothing to like in this film, well except for the dice-roll-torture game, but put that in Saw not Joy Ride!
    I give the film a 0.5 out of 4.
  • Joy Ride 3 - Joy Ride 3: Roadkill continues the crappy story set up in part 2 that Rusty Nail is still a merciless killer, but this time he's taking tips from Jigsaw. Come on, why do people find it necessary to destroy a fantastic film with horrible sequels? The opening scee gave be the smallest bit of hope for the film but it got worse real quick. I give Joy Ride 3 a 0.5 out of 4.
  • Scream - Scream is a fantastic homage to the original slasher horror films. It respects them all the while making its own story. I loved everything about the film from the creative original spin on horror to the characters to the acting. I give it a full 4 out of 4.
  • Scream 2 - Scream 2 is almost as perfect as the original. The main difference is I didn't see the original reveal coming whereas in this one I knew within the first few minutes who the killers would be. I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Scream 3 - Scream 3 tried to keep the series as interesting and fun as it has been, and to a certain degree it did, but the big issue is that the actors on the set of Stab 3 (a movie within a movie) were terrible and cringeworthy. It did have a killer twist *pun intended* but it didn't explain how Dewey survived his near-death in Scream 2. I give Scream 3 a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Scream 4 - Scream 4 was a highly unnecessary sequel that had some shaky acting and unintentionally parodical moments. At this point the series is becoming redundant. Hopefully they'll stop here before they completely ruin it. I give the film a 2 out of 4.
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Leatherface - Leatherface is an origin story depicting the life of teenage Jed Sawyer before becoming the infamous Leatherface. I'll be honest, I at first didn't care for this film. It seemed more like a twisted version of Stand By Me. But then in the last 30 minutes, things started coming together and making sense. But the bad part is you have to make it through an hour before you can enjoy the last 30 incredible minutes. I give the film a 1.5 out of 4.
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one "classic" horror film that I simply do not enjoy. It plays out as more of a sick snuff film and doesn't do much as far as story and characters are concerned. Everyone was annoying. I did not root for any of them to survive except maybe the handicapped guy just because of how poorly his "friends" were treating him. But we all know in slasher films, the slow or immobile always die. I also don't understand how, in the prequel film Leatherface, Jed's family seemed to love him in their own twisted way but in the original film they seemed to be burdened by him. Why can't prequels be consistent dammit?
    Overall I give the film a 1 out of 4 for the very few frightening moments it had. If you wanna see a Texas Chainsaw Massacre film - watch the remake.
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 - Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 was what the first should have been. It was unnerving, had a good story with interesting characters that you could sympathize with, and the duel between Leatherface and Dennis Hopper is spectacularly epic. I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 - Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 3 isn't quite as good as Part 2 but it is still far better than the first. It was also really interesting to see Viggo Mortensen be a twisted villain. I give the film a 3 out of 4.
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation is about as useful as a severed foot. The acting was horrendous, the plot ridiculous and contradictory to the previous films, and the characters were so annoying that within the first 10 minutes I actually wanted Leatherface to go chop them all up. Matthew McConaughey was the only good part of that film, showing his range as a crazed cannibalistic psychopath. Would have been exiled but McConaughey was just too good to ignore. I give the film a 0.5 out of 4.
  • Texas Chainsaw - Texas Chainsaw is a direct sequel to the original quadrilogy and also continues the story from the prequel Leatherface. See, this is where I have an issue. The film itself was good but there's a huge continuity error. In the prequel, Jed was a natural born killer and was ruthless. In the original trilogy, his family forced him to kill. Jed acted like he didn't really want to do it. In the fourth he's ruthless. Now, in Texas Chainsaw, he's back to being ruthless again. I don't understand this. On top of that, Leatherface's mom was a huge influence in the prequel, was absent in the first two films, then came back in the third, was absent in the fourth, and was mentioned heavily in this one. Where'd she go? Far too many errors. I give the film a 2 out of 4.
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning is a prequel to the 2003 remake and is in no way related to the original series nor the prequel titled Leatherface. I look at this and the 2003 remake as a different duology altogether rather than comparing them to the originals, This prequel changes the names from the original series and honestly makes it look like the family doesn't want to kill but Hoyt and Leatherface make them. This is a whole different viewpoint considering the originals make it look like the family forced Leatherface into it. The acting was actually good and the film was a bit unnerving in places but it traded story for gore which was a big downfall. I give this film a 2 out of 4.
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre - It's difficult enough to make a good slasher film, but when you remake a so-called classic that wasn't good to start with, the film is destined to fail. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a 2003 remake of the 1974 film, is nothing more than a loud and brainless film that tries to gross you out more than anything else. There's only one part of the film that is truly scary and that's the last few lines of the film. I give The Texas Chainsaw Massacre a 1.5 out of 4.

Section 2: Supernatural

  • Annabelle: Creation - Annabelle: Creation was a HUGE improvement on the first. I'm not the biggest fan of Sandberg's style but honestly almost anything's better than the first Annabelle. The acting was a major improvement and the plot was actually interesting. I give this film a 3 out of 4.
  • Autopsy of Jane Doe - The Autopsy of Jane Doe had a steady build-up of suspense and was fantastically thrilling. Was it scary? No, and I also found the plot rushed and not very well explained. I give the film a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Crimson Peak - Crimson Peak is NOT a traditional horror film as the trailers lead you to believe. It is a twisted love triangle with a ghost in it. But don't let that stop you from seeing it. This film blew me away, mainly because Guillermo Del Toro is a master of imagery. If you only know Charlie Hunnam from Sons of Anarchy, then his performance in this might just surprise you. He and Tom Hiddleston both give wonderful performances. The leading ladies Mia Wasikowska and Jessica Chastain also deliver nicely.
    I felt that this film was a fresh breath into both the drama and suspense genres. I hope this film will inspire other worthy filmmakers to think outside the box rather than rehash the same old stuff. I give it a 4 out of 4.
  • Don't Kill It - Don't Kill It was surprisingly a fun watch. Dolph Lundgren will be 60 next month but he sure can still kick ass. He takes on demons in this film, which is something he's never done before. Aside from a few cheesy practical effects, this is actually a good movie that lets you just sit back and enjoy yourself. It's not heavy on gore nor is it heavy on jump-scares. It just tells a good story and lets you have fun with it. I give Don't Kill It a 3 out of 4.
  • Flatliners - The original Flatliners did it right and did it the best, but if there's one thing that could have been better then that would have to be the characters' backgrounds. We know nothing about these people except what we're told after the hallucinations have already begun. I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Happy Death Day - The good part is the film had an interesting concept, a few touching moments, and a handful of thrills. The bad part is it also had mediocre acting and a lack of explanation. I give it a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Last Witch Hunter - The Last Witch Hunter was a decent film. Vin Diesel is in top form in this film about an immortal witch hunter hunting for the witch that killed his oldest friend. The film is visually impressive, however, the acting could have been better. The twist(s) toward the end of the film were very much predictable which was disappointing. Overall, this film gets a 2.5 out of 4
  • Possession - Possession starring Sarah Michelle Gellar played out more like a twisted romance and turned into a horror in the last 15 minutes. It had a flimsy plot that was only held together by the stellar acting. I give it a 2/4.
  • Possession - The Possession was definitely one of the better exorcism films, delving into the why of possession rather than recycling the same stuff we see practically every year. I would have liked to know who initially made that box and how they trapped a demon inside of it but then again maybe it's better to not know certain things. I give it a 3.5/4.
  • Ring - Creepy with some great jump moments, the American remake of The Ring is good as a standalone but not so good when compared to the original Japanese film. I give it a 3 out of 4.
  • Ring Two - It tried to be as good as the first but it really just came off as repetitive and the CGI deer were so laughable you could cry. I give it a 2 out of 4.
  • Unfriended - Unfriended has me on the fence. I liked how it all took place on Skype but that was also a big problem with it. During the slower parts you're forced to see her messing around on chat and iTunes and that just wasn't necessary. I realize they wanted you to feel like you were this girl but that's not how it turned out. Plus if your friends start dying off in front of you would you really stay logged in? It had a good message about bullying but I felt it wasn't properly executed. I give Unfriended a 2 out of 4.
  • Yoga Hosers - Yogas Hosers can be creepy at times but it's overall just a lot of fun. Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith are fantastic and director Kevin Smith proves he has a wacky but fantastic imagination. I give the film a 3 out of 4.

Section 3: Creatures

  • Cave - It was a decent creature flick but nothing surprising or fresh about it. It's fun to watch but fails at playing on your fears. Seriously, there's so many places the writers/director could have taken it but the settled for mediocrity. I give The Cave a 2 out of 4.
  • Deep Blue Sea - Deep Blue Sea is one of those films that you hate to love but you still love it despite it being so bad. From the Sharknado-esque CGI to the mediocre acting, it's a surprise to see that the director of Die Hard 2 and Cliffhanger made this thing. However, it does have one of the most surprising deaths and it has Thomas Jane and Stellan Skarsgard. However you may feel about this film, I give it a 2 out of 4.
  • Descent - The Descent is miles better than The Cave. It focused on fear rather than action and it made you actually feel for the characters. The only negative I have to say about it is the inclusion of supernatural elements that have nothing to do with the main story. I give The Descent a 3 out of 4.
  • Descent 2 - The Descent 2 was a huge let down. It lost all the edge that made the first so good and even added an unnecessary end twist that we'll never see resolved. It was all about gore and not about scares. Disappointing to say the least. I give The Descent Part 2 a total of 1 out of 4.
  • Feast - Feast was ridiculously awful. There's nothing good or remotely likable about any of the characters and there was literally no plot. There was never an answer given as to what these creatures were. All we know is that they are hungry and horny for mounted deer heads. It boggles my mind to think that cinematic greats like Wes Craven, Ben Affleck, and Matt Damon all pitched in to get this made. Why? This was a slap in the face and a disgrace to all three of their names. I sentence this sad excuse for a film to Death By Exile, my first 0 out of 4 rating.
  • Frozen - Frozen is by far one of my favorite horror films because of how real it is. Four friends are stranded at a ski park on one of the lifts in freezing weather and there's wolves just waiting for their meal. Tense and suspenseful, this film gets a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Gremlins - Gremlins is so much fun. It might have been scary when I was younger but today it's a monster film with some good laughs. That's not to say that I think it's bad now. No, it's still a good film but there are times when you just want to smack the humans for being so stupid. Good thing the lovable Gizmo's there to keep us smiling and "awwing" time and time again. I give the film a 3 out of 4.
  • Gremlins 2 - Gremlins 2: The New Batch had some fun moments and even a few frightening versions of the creatures but the film suffers from its lack of inconsistency. One minute it'll be a comedy, the next a self-parody, then a horror drama. It was a bit too all over the place. John Glover's maniacal style did help though. I give the film a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Jaws - Jaws is still a thrilling and intense film 42 years on. It brings the horrors of shark attacks fantastically to life and takes you on a journey that won't soon be forgotten. Jaws gets a perfect 4 out of 4.
  • Jaws 2 - Jaws 2 didn't have the genius or originality that the first had. In fact, it was pretty much more of the same only less of a plot. It had some good action and practical effects and it certainly had some fantastic acting, especially from the kids. I give it a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Jaws 3 - Jaws 3D finds the Brody sons grown up and terrorized by the son of Jaws in Sea World. Okay part 2 I understood and even enjoyed but this is getting ridiculous. Also the 3D shots were so obvious and over the top that it turned the film into a parodical comedy rather than a horror. You could tell the filmmakers didn't even bother trying. Poor Dennis Quaid. I sentence this film to Death by Exile!
  • Jaws 4 - Jaws: The Revenge is slightly better than part 3 but it's still pretty absurd. The story follows Ellen Brody who lost one of her sons to a shark attack. She becomes convinced that the other son of Jaws is out for revenge. She then decides to move to the Caribbean with her living son and his family.
    Okay, let me get something straight here. Ellen has PTSD and is afraid of going near the water. So she leaves Amity Island.... and moves to the Caribbean...cause that makes sense. If the film had focused on Ellen's PTSD and made that the central villain rather than a vengeful shark then that would have been a great film. But that's not how deteriorating franchises work. They grasp at straws rather than coming up with great stories. But I didn't hate the film. I know it sounds like I did but it was fairly good when it tried. So I have to give this film a 2 out of 4.
  • Piranha - Piranha might have been a cash-out of Jaws, but it held its own. It had a good story but the editing was sloppy and the ending was quick and unclarified. I give the film a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Piranha 2 - Piranha II: The Spawning had better acting and far better directing but the story felt more parodical than serious and the ending was yet again quick and unclarified. I give it a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Piranha - Piranha has horrible special effects and cheesy made-for-3D moments that are too bad to even laugh at. The acting wasn't terrible and the story was decent but the overly gratuitous nude shots of mostly women and one guy was beyond unnecessary. I give the film a 1.5 out of 4.
  • Piranha DD - Piranha DD is somehow not as demeaning as the first although it's still pretty damn demeaning. The story's nowhere near as good but the effects have improved greatly and Hasselhoff's cameo gave the film something in it worth watching. The ending was damn awful though, I give the film a 1.5 out of 4.
  • Riddick: Pitch Black - Pitch Black is one of the top best movies of Vin Diesel's career, introducing Richard B. Riddick without mercy. It's hunt or be hunted, and soon we find out why. Humans crash on a seemingly void planet. That's where they find Riddick. But Riddick is the least of the stranded humans' worries. There are creatures galore and the only hope for survival is to team up with Riddick. The story is solid, the acting well above average, and the visuals very well done. 4 out of 4!
  • Riddick: Dark Fury - Dark Fury is a short animated film which fills the gap between Pitch Black and Chronicles of Riddick. Vin Diesel returned to voice Riddick. The short is very well done, full of action, and the drawing top notch. 4 out of 4
  • Chronicles of Riddick - Chronicles of Riddick is the third installment in the Riddick series which brings Riddick to Helion Prime where he meets the Necromongers who want to convert or kill all humans.
    This one tries to fit way too much into one movie. There isn't much character development for a movie about one civilization attempting to destroy another. The visuals are interesting and the action solid. The story and acting could have used some work. 2.5 out of 4.
  • Riddick - Riddick is the Riddick sequel we have been waiting for. Riddick is betrayed, stranded, and left to die. Now he has to survive before the next challenge approaches. Katee Sackhoff gives a good performance and Vin Diesel reverts back to the Pitch Black days, which makes the movie that much better. The visuals are beautiful and stunning and the story pretty much the same as Pitch Black.
    3 out of 4.
  • Shark Lake - Shark Lake is dull, boring, and doesn't even show the shark until the last 20 minutes. Look, when you advertise Dolph Lundgren in a shark movie, I wanna see him blow up some frickin' sharks! This film was such a huge missed opportunity. I hate having to give actors I love low ratings for one of their movies but Shark Lake was just all around bad. Sorry, Dolph, but this film gets a 0.5 out of 4.

Section 4: Psychological

  • Buried - Buried is by far one of the best psychological thrillers out there. Filmed completely in a coffin, this film plays on the claustrophobic and may even induce the fear on people that didn't originally have it. Ryan Reynolds is outstanding. I give it a 4 out of 4.
  • Call - The Call was an edge-of-your-seat thriller that was literally a nonstop coaster ride once the plot kicked in. Halle Berry and Abigail Breslin performed perfectly. I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Event Horizon - Event Horizon was nothing short of fantastic. It even rivals the original Alien and Hellraiser. 4/4.
  • House at the End of the Street - House at the End of the Street has a good story and one hell of a twist ending. Yeah, the acting could have been better all around but what do you expect from modern American low budget horror? I give it a 3/4.
  • Machinist - The Machinist is one of Christian Bale's best films, psychologically screwing with you from beginning to shocking end. I give the film a 4 out of 4.
  • mother! - Deeply psychological & metaphoric, Mother! will have your mind puzzling for days after you see it. It's disturbing and beautiful both, but mostly disturbing. I give the film a 3.5 out of 4.
  • Parallel - Parallel was falsely advertised as a psychological thriller when it was, in fact, a boring and dull experience. Seriously, watching paint dry is more fun. The music drowns out the dialogue, there's no psychology or twists to it, and it became more and more lifeless as it went on. I will say that I was impressed with the acting for it being a microbudget film and it did have a good premise but it never went anywhere. The film spun its wheels and flopped majorly. I sentence this film to Death by Exile!
  • Red Lights - Red Lights was intriguing, immersive, and kept your attention. The "twist" was both expected and unexpected but it still felt like a cop out. Overall rating: 3/4
  • Resident - The Resident was absolutely creepy but almost to the too-much area. It accomplished its goal of making us paranoid but then took it a step further. This wasn't your typical stalker story. The ending was a bit too abrupt, which I hate when films do that. I give The Resident a 3 out of 4,
  • Silent House - Silent House had a good approach but there was really nothing going on until the last 20 minutes. Thank God Elizabeth learned from this and went on to better things rather than spinning her wheels like most young women who start out in horror films do. I give it a 2/4.
  • Sound - The Sound was slow, mostly boring, and a sadly disappointing end to a wonderful actress's career. If you wanna see a movie like this that's a million times better, watch 1408 instead. Overall rating: 1.5/4

Section 5: Everything Else

  • Boo! A Madea Halloween - Boo! A Madea Halloween is by far the WORST Tyler Perry film to date. Many of the jokes are just plain disgusting and cringeworthy and the plot doesn't even get started until the film's halfway over. I give it a 1/4.
  • Crazies - The Crazies had some suspenseful moments but its problem is it can't keep up the suspense. It wanes thin quickly and treads quicksand. I give the film a 2 out of 4.
  • Final Girls - The Final Girls is billed as a parody of horror films but this was more of a drama than a comedy. There were very few funny moments. It did have a good story, however, the film was not executed as well as it could have been. I give the film a 2 out of 4.
  • Scooby-Doo - Scooby-Doo brings the greatest cartoon dog detective to life...well, kind of...and entertains regardless of its silliness. The CGI was horrible, sure, but the movie's fun plot and swift humor makes it worth while. I give the film a 3 out of 4.
  • Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed - Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed was a fun follow-up but sadly it didn't resonate like the first did. It tried way too hard to be funny instead of keeping the comedy natural. Poor James Gunn. He writes very good first films but isn't great with sequels. I give the film a 2.5 out of 4.
  • Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island - Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island is such a good film. It finds the disbanded Mystery, Inc team reuniting and heading to Louisiana to search for haunted houses. This time, however, they find more than they bargained for. Yes, it's aimed for kids so the voice acting isn't the best but the story and hilarity more than makes up for it. I give the film a 4 out of 4.
  • Scooby-Doo and the WItch's Ghost - Yet another perfect adventure with the Mystery, Inc gang. This time they find themselves at a harvest festival with famed horror writer Ben Ravencroft who is desperate to clear his ancestor's name.

    This was a very interesting entry, actually pretty deep considering it's aimed at kids. The film cites the difference between Wiccans and Witches and tries to teach people that all Wiccans want to do is love and respect Mother Earth.

    The only complaint I have is that the spell used to undo the witch's spells reverted everything back to normal except the turkey she enlarged....why? No explanation there. Otherwise, a perfect film. I give it a 3.5 out of 4.

  • Aloha, Scooby-Doo - Aloha, Scooby-Doo had a good story with a whole lot of fun, even if you do figure it out in the first few minutes. I give the film a 3 out of 4.
  • Scooby-Doo and the Legend of the Vampire - Scooby-Doo and the Legend of the Vampire has a fun story but unfortunately the accentage is all wrong and stereotypical. There was also a derogatory phrase used that most kids (or adults for that matter) won't catch unless they're familiar with it. I give the film a 2 out of 4.

Complete Watched List

  • American Psycho - 4 out of 4
  • Annabelle: Creation - 3 out of 4
  • Autopsy of Jane Doe - 2.5 out of 4
  • Blackcoat's Daughter - 2.5 out of 4
  • Boo! A Madea Halloween - 1 out of 4
  • Buried - 4 out of 4
  • Call - 3.5 out of 4
  • Cave - 2 out of 4
  • Child's Play - 3.5 out of 4
  • Child's Play 2 - 3.5 out of 4
  • Child's Play 3 - 1.5 out of 4
  • Child's Play: Bride of Chucky - 2 out of 4
  • Child's Play: Seed of Chucky - DEATH BY EXILE
  • Child's Play: Curse of Chucky - 3 out of 4
  • Child's Play: Cult of Chucky - 3 out of 4
  • Crazies - 2.5 out of 4
  • Crimson Peak - 4 out of 4
  • Dahmer - 1 out of 4
  • Deep Blue Sea - 2 out of 4
  • Descent - 3 out of 4
  • Descent 2 - 1 out of 4
  • Don't Kill It - 3 out of 4
  • Event Horizon - 4 out of 4
  • Eyes of My Mother - 3 out of 4
  • Feast - DEATH BY EXILE
  • Final Girls - 2 out of 4
  • Flatliners - 3.5 out of 4
  • Friday the 13th - 3 out of 4
  • Friday the 13th Part II - 2 out of 4
  • Friday the 13th Part III - 2.5 out of 4
  • Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter - 3.5 out of 4
  • Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning - 3.5 out of 4
  • Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives - DEATH BY EXILE
  • Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood - 2 out of 4
  • Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan - 3 out of 4
  • Friday the 13th Part IX: Jason Goes to Hell - 1.5 out of 4
  • Freddy vs Jason - 2 out of 4
  • Friday the 13th: Jason X - DEATH BY EXILE
  • Friday the 13th - 2.5 out of 4
  • Frozen - 3.5 out of 4
  • Gremlins - 3 out of 4
  • Gremlins 2: The New Batch - 2.5 out of 4
  • Grindhouse: Death Proof - 4 out of 4
  • Hannibal Rising - 2 out of 4
  • Hannibal: Manhunter - 2 out of 4
  • Hannibal: Red Dragon - 4 out of 4
  • Hannibal: Silence of the Lambs - 4 out of 4
  • Hannibal - 3.5 out of 4
  • Happy Death Day - 2.5 out of 4
  • House at the End of the Street - 3 out of 4
  • I Know What You Did Last Summer - 3.5 out of 4
  • I Still Know What You Did Last Summer - 2.5 out of 4
  • I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer - DEATH BY EXILE
  • Jaws - 4 out of 4
  • Jaws 2 - 2.5 out of 4
  • Jaws 3 - DEATH BY EXILE
  • Jaws: The Revenge - 2 out of 4
  • Jigsaw - 3 out of 4
  • Joy Ride - 3.5 out of 4
  • Joy Ride 2 - 0.5 out of 4
  • Joy Ride 3 - 0.5 out of 4
  • Last Witch Hunter - 2.5 out of 4
  • Machinist - 4 out of 4
  • mother! - 3.5 out of 4
  • Nightmare on Elm Street - 4 out of 4
  • Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge - 2 out of 4
  • Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors - 3 out of 4
  • Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master - 1.5 out of 4
  • Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child - 3 out of 4
  • Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare - 3.5 out of 4
  • New Nightmare - 4 out of 4
  • Nightmare on Elm Street - 1 out of 4
  • Parallel - DEATH BY EXILE
  • Piranha - 2.5 out of 4
  • Piranha II: The Spawning - 2.5 out of 4
  • Piranha - 1.5 out of 4
  • Piranha DD - 1.5 out of 4
  • Possession - 2 out of 4
  • Possession - 3.5 out of 4
  • Red Lights - 3 out of 4
  • Resident - 3 out of 4
  • Riddick: Pitch Black - 4 out of 4
  • Riddick: Dark Fury - 4 out of 4
  • Chronicles of Riddick - 2.5 out of 4
  • Riddick - 3 out of 4
  • Ring - 3 out of 4
  • Ring Two - 2.5 out of 4
  • Scooby-Doo - 3 out of 4
  • Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed - 2.5 out of 4
  • Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island - 4 out of 4
  • Scooby-Doo and the WItch's Ghost - 3.5 out of 4
  • Aloha, Scooby-Doo - 3 out of 4
  • Scooby-Doo and the Legend of the Vampire - 2 out of 4
  • Scream - 4 out of 4
  • Scream 2 - 3.5 out of 4
  • Scream 3 - 2.5 out of 4
  • Scream 4 - 2 out of 4
  • Shark Lake - 0.5 out of 4
  • Silent House - 2 out of 4
  • Sound - 1.5 out of 4
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Leatherface - 1.5 out of 4
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 - 3.5 out of 4
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3: Leatherface - 3 out of 4
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation - 0.5 out of 4
  • Texas Chainsaw - 2 out of 4
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning - 2 out of 4
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre - 1.5 out of 4
  • Unfriended - 2 out of 4
  • Yoga Hosers - 3 out of 4

© 2017 Alec Zander

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.