Who's Better? Chris Evans vs. Chris Hemsworth vs. Chris Pine vs. Chris Pratt (2020)

When Chris Pine hosted his first Saturday Night Live, his first order of business was to clear the apparent confusion between him and the other Chris’s with a musical number to the tune of Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl” singing repeatedly, “I’m not that Chris…” For the most part, its amusing and crazy how some people mistake one Chris after the other, because they look nothing like each other. Of course, they’re all white and 6 feet tall (and over), but beyond that, maybe its because they make the same kind of movies and play the same kind of roles.

In this edition of Who’s Better?, we pit Chris Evans against Chris Hemsworth against Chris Pine against Chris Pratt—in a four way battle to see who is the better actor, or plainly, the better Chris.

Like in previous Who’s Better?, we’ll take a look at their bodies of work separated in several categories: Movies, Roles, Awards, Box-Office, Flops, Other Skills beyond acting and Legacy. Unlike previous Who’s Better? though, where “edges” determine the winner, we rank them from 1 to 4 and assign a corresponding score, and whoever has the highest accumulated score in the end, is the winner. You’ll get how this system of scoring works as we go along. So, let’s begin.

If it weren’t for superhero movies and Star Trek, what would have been the careers of Chris Evans, Hemsworth, Pine and Pratt? They make their money out of wearing costumes—spandex, masks, and props—mighty weapons made of plastic, and probably have more time in front of blue or green screens than anybody else. Take them all away and it would’ve been very different for these four new millennium beefcakes. They started their careers in the 2000s and the future definitely looks grand.

In Category 1, we pick out their 7 best movies* as rated by IMDB (The Internet Movie Database) and Rotten Tomatoes, and get the average by combining sc_ores.

_{*These are movies in which the actor has a leading role or ample screen time.}

The highest rated movie is Avengers: Endgame (2019) with a rating of 89.0 which benefited three Chrises: Evans, Pratt and Hemsworth with their superhero characters sharing the same universe, and left Chris Pine at a terrible disadvantage (unless of course, they make a Star Trek meets Avengers movie, which I highly doubt). To make matters worse, Pine's apocalyptic ho-hum drama Z for Zachariah (2015) is the worst-rated movie of the lot at 69.5.

They play bigger than life characters—superheroes who wield powers and abilities far beyond normal men. Evans, Hemsworth, Pine and Pratt all have the physique, personality and more importantly, the skill to turn these characters believable on screen. Not everyone has what they possess. But, it is not limited to these costumed characters, they could also tackle different roles.They are, after all, actors.

In this Category, we pick 5 of their best roles to date, and see whose is the more memorable and resonate well with audiences, fans and critics alike. We pick their best roles through internet lists and score them by appearance and also by popular vote based on awards given by the likes of MTV and People’s Choice Awards.

Captain America and Thor were the more popular characters and enjoyed a big lead against the two other Chrises. Of course, given that the award-giving bodies were mostly kid-oriented. But hey, who would you rather be, right? That's America's Ass the the God of Thunder!

This is a big uh-oh. This is where we separate them from the Eddie Redmaynes, Casey Afflecks and the Ryan Goslings, our Chris’s are not (at least at the moment) Oscar studs. But, things are looking good with some dramatic turns--Chris Pine in Hell or High Water (2016) and The Finest Hours (2016), Hemsworth in In the Heart of the Sea (2016) and Blackhat (2015), Chris Evans in Gifted (2017), and Pratt in…well, he needs to work on this one, although Passengers (2016) comes close to one.

In this category, we list down their award-winning performances outside of MTV, Teen Choice and People’s Choice Awards and get down to real business—those Critics Societies that hand out awards for acting. Oscars they are not, but they’ll do for now.

Pine may not get the chunk of popular votes for his characters unlike Evans and Hemsworth, but he did impress the critics. His 6 wins and 14 nominations are due in part to his portrayal of Captain James T. Kirk which together with the rest of the crew of the USS Enterprise got several nominations and wins for best ensemble. But most of all, Pine's dramatic role in director David MacKenzie's Oscar nominated movie Hell or High Water (2016) is a turning point (screams of "this guy could actually act!"), and pushes his score further.

In Evans, Hemsworth, Pine and Pratt, you have four guys who rule at the box office. The Captain America, Thor, Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy and Star Trek franchises were big hits and combined would gross billions. (It Is also interesting to note that Evans and Pratt are two of the “best actors for the buck” according to financial websites. The average return of the Captain America movies is $135.80 at the box office for every $1 Evans is paid. Pratt is second with $125.40 for every buck.)* This means that studios are benefitting a great deal from their low salaries. Quite the heroes they are.

*as of 2016

In this category, we list their 7 best movies from Category 1, add the Adjusted Domestic Box Office takes and add 3 more of their highest grossing movies not on that list for a total of 10 movies each. We add the numbers and get the average. The one who has the highest average wins the category.

Evans lead the box-office with an average of $412M, followed closely by Hemsworth's $378M average. Both the last two Avengers movies were the deciding factors. Alas, Pratt's brief cameo in Endgame is discounted.

So far, Evans leads with a total of 13 points and Pine is severely lagging behind with 7 points. Three more categories remain, can the others catch up?

You have great movies and then you have the flops. Gone are the golden years when studios would pick out someone from nowhere and make him or her an overnight star. But those are pretty rare chances. Even guys like Errol Flynn had to start somewhere as do our 4 actors in the same mold—a bit role perhaps? In a TV sitcom? A B-movie destined to bomb in the box-office? In an industry already overflowing with stars, they’d tell you have to fall in line, kid.

We’ve looked at their best rated movies as well as their box-office hits, now, its time to peek at misses. There are 2 sub-categories: Worst rated movies* and Box office bombs**. We pick 5 movies each for the 2 sub-cats for Evans, Hemsworth, Pine and Pratt and compare. The least badly rated movies are ranked first as are those with the least loss in their budgets against gross.

_{*as rated by IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes
** source: boxofficemojo.com}

They are either too easily forgotten, or is just so bad it follows the actor around like a lingering joke. For Evans, Hemsworth, Pine and Pratt, there are movies they’d surely wish they never made, or maybe a reminder of the learning curves they encountered on the road to superstardom. Everyone has them. No one is exempt. And for guys like these, whose primary sell are their looks, well…

With their good looks and personalities, they all started as romantic supporting characters, jocks and beefcakes. When Pratt shed fat, he joined the other Chrises as America's most wanted sex symbols. Hemsworth was a gift from down under who came to Hollywood immediately as a major marvel, Thor, the god of thunder, no less. So, its no surprise their movies were not exactly critics choices. The worst movie of its kind? Pratt's Bride Wars (2009) in which he starred as Anne Hathaway's fiance. It didn't get any love from Rotten Tomatoes which gave it only a 10% rating.

They have box-office smashes as well as splashes. Some are early movies—typical comedies and romcoms, others, very recently while they were at the peak of their popularity with superhero movies. After Thor (2011) and Thor: The Dark World (2013), Chris Hemsworth did Ron Howard’s In the Heart of the Sea (2015), a $100 million sea adventure that only grossed a quarter of its budget. Why? Maybe, because people didn’t want to see Thor in a Moby Dick movie. Maybe goes the same with Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) and The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016) which both struggled domestically in the box office. This also applies to the other Chris’s. Somehow people want them where they want them—playing superheroes and nothing else. It’s like, Chris Pratt in a spaceship (Passengers, 2016) and no laser gun? They be like, “thanks, but I’ll just wait for the next Guardians of the Galaxy.”

Pratt's average of -$11.5 million is unbelievably low it may make the Guinness Book of World Records. At least, that’s the lowest we’ve seen in the Who’s Better? Series. Yes, my man! With Pratt lording over this category and Evans dropping dead last, moves him closer to the lead.

Sure you’ve got the face, sure you’ve got the body. But, for how long? Remember that once upon a time Tom Cruise have those too (though a bit undersize) but now, its like, hey, its okay not to take the shirt off, man. Actors should therefore, invest in other skills other than acting. And by that, we don’t mean ice bucket challenges. We mean acting in front of a live audience, and again, we don’t mean like, hosting Saturday Night Live. We’re talking about theatre. Or maybe, get more creative by directing, or writing.

But, do these actors got what it takes? In this category, we’ll find out if these dudes have the following in their skills department: Directing, Writing, Producing, Voice Talent, Music, TV Acting, and Broadway. These are the 7 sub-categories that need to be filled, and let’s hope they do. Scores are tallied and actors are ranked based on the numbers.

1) DIRECTING – Chris Evans made a movie and no, it’s not a home movie. Before We Go (2014) is a romantic drama that stars him and Alice Eve, and as expected, critics were harsh, IMDB was a bit favorable. But, at the least, it was a honest effort and Evans should not be discouraged. As for the other Chris’s, let’s just say this is way too much effort.

2) WRITING – None of them have thought of writing anything except fan mails.

3) PRODUCING – Evans also produced his film.

4) VOICE TALENT – All but Hemsworth has lent their voice in animated movies. Pine as Jack Frost in DreamWorks Rise of the Guardians (2012) and in Quantum Quest: A Cassino Space Odyssey; Evans as Casey Jones in TMNT (2007) and Battle for Terra (2007); and Pratt as the lead lego Emmet Brickowski in The Lego Movie (2014)—his role is lauded as well as the movie with numerous awards, as well as performing in Onward (2020) as the older elf.

5) MUSIC – He is not the “singing” Chris for nothing. We don’t expect anything Josh Groban, but Pine can actually carry a tune and he demonstrated this thrice—two of them in song numbers as the handsome prince in Into the Woods (2014). And the thing is, he’s not even the worse singer in the group that include Anna Kendrick, Emily Blunt and Meryl Streep. As for the other Chris’s…well, there’s the shower.

6) TV ACTING – They all have TV credits under their names. Hemsworth was in the long running (dig this: 30 seasons) Australian soap opera Home and Away. He is credited in 189 episodes. Chris Pine appeared in one episode in several TV shows like ER, CSI: Miami and Six Feet Under, while Chris Evans similarly appeared in one-offs, and nothing we’d call a career. Which brings us to Chris Pratt—he is known for his work in Everwood and Parks and Recreation before turning his attention to movies. He has 206 episodes in these two TV series alone, add some appearances in other shows like The O.C. and you have a career man, Pratt is the pro when it comes to TV.

7) BROADWAY – Chris Evans is in the play Lobby Hero with Michael Cera and directed by Manchester By the Sea’s Kenneth Lonegran Chris Pine has 4 previous experiences: The Atheist (2006), Neil LaBute’s Fat Pig (2007), Beau Willimon’s Farragut North (2009) and Martin McDonaugh’s The Lieutenant of Inishmore (2010).

Okay, so who is more "just muscle?" Apparently, its Hemsworth whose only range is acting on TV. Evans directed a movie! Pratt's becoming a staple in animated voice-overs, and Pine could really sing!

In the final tally, Pine emerged victorious.

Simply put, legacy is the actor’s total body of work (no, not the gym thing)—it is a reflection of his entire accomplishment in cinema, the directors he has worked with, along with all the great actors and actresses he has shared the screen with. All of these define his legacy.

Therefore, in this category, we list down all the directors, actors and actresses that Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pine and Chris Pratt have all worked with. Though their careers are not as vast as the veterans, there are some legends as well as future legends among them. Who knows, they might reach greatness themselves in the future.

Tiering is a little difficult and people differ in opinions. Plus, some actors tend to rise and fall in tiers depending on their year, so I do my best to update.

TIER 1: Legends, Major Award Winner/Multiple Winner, A-lister
TIER 2: Minor Legend, Major/MinorAward Winner, Multi-nominee, Superstar/Veteran
TIER 3: Veteran, Nominee/Multi-Nominee, Star/Starring Roles
TIER 4: Veteran, Minor Star, Supporting Roles, Character Actors, Newcomer

By tradition, this is the part where we say, "the envelope, please" and award our winner. We thank Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pine and Chris Pratt for all the wonderful movies they made and still making, and we look forward to all of them (good or bad). Four Chris's and they're all great, but only one gets the prize--the 7 categories say it all, one is better than the other three. Here's the final box score:

CHRIS EVANS WINS!

Evans lead in 3 categories: Best Movies, Box Office and Legacy. This mean, he has the better movies, the bigger money-makers, and so far, the better career. He also placed second with better roles and skills beyond acting. With that, he enjoyed a 4 point lead to his closest rival which is Chris Pine. Evidently, the two are the more experienced actors of the four.

Let’s see how Evans fared against each:

Chris Evans vs. Chris Hemsworth – If the Thor movies had been rated as well as the Captain America’s, or that Hemsworth didn’t have those movie duds, he would have had a better fighting chance. Evans came in the contest the veteran against Hemsworth who didn’t have as much experience, if only he had quit that bloody Aussie soap opera earlier. But, that’s a lot of ifs already.

Chris Evans vs. Chris Pratt – Pratt has less starring roles and seems to be a long ways to go before he could catch up to Evans', though he is the oldest of the bunch, his future is very optimistic.

Chris Evans vs. Chris Pine – Evans closest challenger is Pine. Like Evans, Pine has been in the business just as long. But put their careers side by side, and you’d notice that Evans is somehow a step ahead each time—first to: be in a franchise movie, be used as voice talent in an animation, be in an action ensemble, and more importantly, direct a movie. Pine has Hell or High Water—an Oscar best picture nominee, but Evans has Snowpiercer—an internationally-recognized movie, and more recently, the critically-loved Knives Out. Evans has the edge over Pine at the moment.