Grace has seen the negative impact of large families through her extended family.It's thoughtless to have more children than one can afford.
19 Children? When is Enough, ENOUGH?
Anyone Who Has 19 Children Is Severely Mentally Ill
There is a television program on TLC Discovery Channel which centers around an Arkansas couple called the Duggars. They are the parents of an extremely large family. They presently have a total of nineteen children. Yes, nineteen children! You heard me correctly!
The Duggars are an anomaly in this day and age of scrupulous family planning. They are adherents of the fanatical religious sect, the Quiverfull Movement. This movement espouses no form of birth control and to have as many children as " God sends you". However, during her early years of marriage, Michelle Duggar used birth control;and she miscarried.
When the Duggars started to have children, they elected not to use any type of contraception but to let it rip. The philosophy of the Duggars are the children are wealth, a blessing, and the more the merrier. They assert that their large family is indeed a blessing.
Is it really? Let's study the situation. Before their television show and book earned them millions of dollars, the children lived cramped together in a very small house . However, they live in a slightly large house since their television show. Their children's bedroom is a dormitory-like setting with multiple bunk beds. They have no privacy at all. To top all this, they have to schedule time with their parents WEEKS ahead.
Their older children have no childhoods at all. They function as primary caregivers and it is mandatory that they raise their younger siblings. Their parents do not raise the children at all. However, the Duggars INTEND to have more children. This does not make sense to most educated, normal, and intelligent people. ,We have been educated to know that when a person becomes a parent, it is their responsibility to raise their children, not the other children in the family. If a parent is affluent enough, he/she usually hires an au pair and/or a nanny to help raise their children.
Although the Duggars have money to hire nannies and au pairs to raise their children, they elect not to do so. Instead they have their oldest children consigned to slave labor status as handmaidens and servants to their younger siblings. Psychologists decry parents who have children raise other children. Psychological studies state the children do not have the maturity nor the development to raise other children. The studies assert that the raising of children is an ADULT responsibility, not ANOTHER CHILD'S responsibility. I concur with those studies. An older sibling raise a younger siblings constitutes child abuse.
Furthermore, many women, including Michelle Duggar, have an inordinate amount of children because of "baby hunger". Psychological and sociological studies maintain that there are many women who continuously get pregnant because they crave infants. Once their children leave infancy, they miss this and have another child. This is a form of mental illness. These psychologically challenged women continue to have children, oftentimes to the neglect of the older children in the family. This is what Michelle Duggar is doing. She is neglecting the older children to continuously have children to satisfy her "baby hunger".
It is evident that the oldest children in the family are neglected and relegated to the status of servants to the parents and younger siblings. Most rationally minded parents stop at one or two children because they believe that it all they can care for emotional and psychologically. Financial affordability is not the only factor in deciding how many children a couple has Emotional availability should be another factor. Just because a couple is highly affluent it does not give them a license to have a large family. Psychological and sociological studies authenticate that as family size increases, parents are unable to invest much emotional time in the caring of their children.
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To state it succinctly, the Duggars are UNABLE to care for their children. Yet, the Duggars indicated that they wanted a twentieth child. This is totally insane. They do not even take care of the other nineteen they have. They have it very easy as parents. That job is done by their oldest children. There was one segment of the series in which the oldest daughters wanted to travel but the mother forbade it because she wanted them to look after her infant child
The Duggars are a selfish, narcissistic couple in need in of a good psychiatrist. They do not care about their children at all. They just have children because they want to satisfy their "baby hunger" instead of intelligent planning for the amount of children they can PROPERLY care for. The Duggars are not to be praised but to be pitied. They seriously should undergo intense psychiatric treatment as there is definitely something amiss with them.
Questions & Answers
Question: Do you believe that America and maybe the world is sick and tired of anything Duggar?
Answer: Yes, with the Duggars, people see the total dysfunction of large families. The Duggars are merely prototypes of large families in America-the mother who just births children w/o being concerned about the ramifications on existing children, overworked oldest/older children whose lives center around raising siblings-not having individual lives of their own, no personal space, living on top of each other, no individual expression, and other pathologies which are associated with large families.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 15, 2019:
Children from large/very large families can be described as slow & backwards in comparison to children from small families who are advanced. I have never met anyone from a large/very large family who isn't/was slow or backwards. They are behind academically & intellectually because there aren't any intellectual paraphernalia in large family households. Large family environments don't encourage intellectualism. In fact, large family environments DISCOURAGE, even DISPARAGE academic & intellectual achievement. They live at the most basic, animalistic level. The main gist of large/very large family life is survival, nothing more nothing less. Children who grew up in large families don't want to achieve anything, they are content w/poverty. I used the Duggars as the prototype for every large/very large family. Every large/very large family is like the Duggars- backwards!
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 15, 2019:
Cheryl, totally agree w/you. People who grew up in large/very large families aren't normal. They are stunted. They don't know how to show affection. They also are THE WORST stewards of children. They are maladjusted. They don't know how to relate to people.
They also don't know how to interface effectively w/people outside the family circle. If you notice large/very large families, they don't have friends & associates outside the family circle like normal people do. People who grew up in large/very large families aren't good parents. They don't know how to spend individualized time w/their children. You are right Cheryl, people who grew up in large/very large families don't hug their children. They view their children as just there.
This is why I state that people from small families 1-2 children make THE BEST parents. They receive love & attention from their parents which make them comfortable in regards to relating to people, intimacy, & other 1-1 relationships. People who grew up in large/very large families are UNCOMFORTABLE in 1-1 relationships. This is why I will never be friends, date, &/or marry anyone who comes from a large/very large family-they are FUBAR.
cherylstewartwalters on August 15, 2019:
My husband grew up in a large family - 8 children. His father deemed himself the father in "Cheaper by the Dozen". Their big deal was to get dressed up and file into church - Catholic. They were not poor and "could afford a big family". He got no personal attention, no one ever touched him. He was not taught the most basic things in childhood. I don't think his mother even liked children. Both parents were functioning alcoholics. The children were not allowed to participate in activities because it took to much time. Even though they were "rich", college educations were not paid for. My husband was the only one who attended college (VA benefits). They didn't seem to care what happened to the children when they left home.
The odd thing is that the children didn't expect anything more.
When I pointed out to my husband that his mother didn't touch anyone, even new grandchildren he noticed I was right. Then he noticed how other mothers touched their children. There are so many things like this that he has suffered from for his whole life.
My other comment is: There are already too many people on the earth. I had my tubes tied after two children because of over population. I think it is very selfish to make unwanted and unneeded people.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 19, 2019:
I had a great childhood. I grew up in a small family & was adored by my parents. I knew people from large/very large families. They were under adored. They raised themselves & each other. I wouldn't wish large/very large families on my worst nemesis. I used the Duggars to explain what every child in a large/very large family endure. I also had relatives from large/very large families & they went through hell. I am against large/very large families. I am staunchly for small families. Children in small families are loved while children in large/very large families AREN'T. Children in large/very large families aren't treated humanely. People in concentration camps are treated more humanely than children in large/very large families.
I am thankful to be raised in a small family. I was loved & given every imaginable educational & socioeconomic opportunities. Children in large/very large families are impoverished. They go w/o even the necessities. Their parents are uneducated. In school, it was the children in large/very large families who depended upon charities for food, clothing, etc. Such children never had health or medical care. I had written extensively about the plight of large/very large families. Large/very large families equal poverty. Children in large/very large families are abused by their parents. Face the facts, don't be in DENIAL.
Jennifer on July 19, 2019:
I didn't expect your email address, just thought posts were checked before posted. No problem1
However, I don't mean to be rude, but you seem very serious and a touch aggressive, which makes me question your childhood. Psychodynamic therapy may be helpful.
Many parents from large/very large Catholic families put education up with their religion. These parents are also often highly educated, so believe in educating their children, as my family did. Many of these parents are psychologically needy, need religion to cope. So follow the bible literally, have large families.
Over adored children in small families can become narcissists and under adored in large families borderline. Keep that in mind!
Anyway, to be less serious, I'm at Walkabout Creek Hotel now having a drink with Crocodile Dundee in Australia, as the kangaroos hop by.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 17, 2019:
I don't give out my e-mail.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 16, 2019:
Thank you for your eloquent reply. The average large/very large family is less educated, more conservative, & even more fanatically religious than small families. Large/very large families can be described as very retrogressive in terms of gender roles. Wives are submissive & silent & daughters are taught that their only role is that of wives & mothers. Girls in large/very large families aren't taught the value of education & self-assertion. In fact, children in large/very large families are taught that individualism is akin to a mortal transgression. The large/very large family is from another time. Hopefully, the large/very large family will be extinct in a few decades. People are becoming less religious nowadays, thank God!
Jennifer on July 16, 2019:
I have read more and more of your articles since my last post, so I now want to add a little more.
Firstly, I am absolutely fascinated with your profound knowledge on large/very large families, as spot on! It's as if you grew up in a large family as I did, but I know you did not. I wished the internet was around when I was a kid, as your knowledge would have been so helpful .
I wanted to add, that many religious families as my family and I believe the Duggar's. They don't have large families for the addiction of cute babies to love.They submit under Bible to their husbands, believing that they will go to heaven for following the word of God when they die. This is a purely self-centred motivation and 100% narcissistic. It's not about the children but themselves.
They don't have a child, they have something removed.
The Bible is the charter of these women's rights. Often not highly educated women or psychologically needy women who follow such doctrine They cannot cope without a religious purpose.
The father's of these large families are equally responsible but get no blame. Nor do they do any of the 25+ years of the unpaid 24/7 domestic work load involved in raising these children, therefore forcing the older children do their work. This is not all the mothers fault. We must put equal blame on the fathers.
Large families are emotional and psychological neglecting their children, being child abuse. Again, we should not put all this blame of large/very large families on the mother because it takes two to make a child.
These father are basically getting their rocks off on their wives under Bible, being a book written by men for men. If thoroughly critiqued and analysed very closely, it's really a cleverly hidden patriarchal book. Women in large/very large religious families see the Bible as the charter of their rights, with the man having control. These women will submit, use no contraception and doing all the 24/7 child raring unpaid work with older daughters.
Jennifer on January 08, 2019:
Finally I add, emotional neglect is the repeated and consistent neglect of the emotional well-being of a child. There is actually no distinction between emotional and physical abuse. All types of abuse fall under the umbrella of trauma. And trauma encompasses everything from physical trauma, like a child being beaten or hurt, to emotional pain and neglect.
Emotional neglect is far more prevalent in large families, but can also occur in smaller families where both parents work long hours. Many experts believe emotional neglect in childhood is a leading cause of drug and alcohol additions later, as unknowing trying to fill the pain of this empty void.
I however, don't have drug or alcohol problems as some of my other siblings do from this large family psychological and emotional neglect. However, I have been diagnosed only recently with PTSD and CEN, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from childhood emotional neglect.
Unlike physical scars, the long-lasting effects of emotional trauma are harder to see, therefore often not diagnosed. Emotional neglect and trauma can take place in the form of a family that provides all the child's material needs, but never takes the time to get to know them. Again, please note that emotional neglect can be also common in smaller families today due to both working parents absence and emotional unavailability.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on January 07, 2019:
As I have stated the Duggars are prototypical of large/very large families. Parents are uninvolved & distant, older children are THE TRUE PARENTS, & children are left to raise themselves/each other. I have reiterated that large/very large families are dysfunctional & pathological. I am for 1-2 child families where children receive parental attention/love & myriad socioeconomic & cultural opportunities. At least, you are one of those who are TRUTHFUL about the hell of large/very large families!
Jennifer on January 06, 2019:
I am the youngest of seven children within seven years. The psychological and emotional neglect in my childhood was so extreme that I am still recovering from such at the aged of 55 years. Oddly Pat was a teacher at a Catholic school. Most of us called our mother Pat as we got older as she was a cold and distant stranger to us. Her reasoning for all us children was brain washing religion, not love. Divorce with such a large number of children was evident. My older sister became the mother with totally enjoyed the power she was given over the litter, as I called it. This sister is an extremely dominating person to be around, even in her own marriage, that is not a good marriage. None of us are close due to this dysfunctional childhood. My older brothers have been diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder, due to the extreme emotional neglect, as well, other siblings having used drugs and alcohol to cope. HAVING A LARGE FAMILIES FOR RELIGIOUS REASONS, NOT LOVE IS EVIL. EVIL IS KNOWN TO HIDES WHERE YOU WOULD LEAST EXPECT IT, AS WE ARE FINDING OUT WITH THE CATHOLIC PRIESTS AND CHILD ABUSE AS OF LATE.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 26, 2018:
Of course, there is a PATHOLOGY regarding large/very large families of six children & more. I have written 2 hubs on the pathologies of large/very large families. By the way, your daughter isn't spoiled in the least. Spoiled is a way for poor & large families to describe people who have a comfortable lifestyle beyond struggle. Poor & large/very large families lead a life of struggle & poverty & hate people who live beyond an animalistic struggle level.
Large/very large families of six & more children have a different lifestyle & mindset than normal people. They live in an inverse universe. They glorify poverty & struggle. Children from large/very large families are FAR DIFFERENT than children from small families. Children from large/very large families constantly DO WITHOUT, even the rudiments. They have to BE ASSISTED by outside sources as their "parents" can't afford to support them. It isn't only the Duggars, it is ALL parents from large/very large families. These parents don't give a rat's patootie about their children. They are narcissistic, selfish breeders with a VOID in their lives.
Samoyeds on August 24, 2018:
My daughter has the benefit of many things in life: music lessons, language tutors, travel abroad and domestically ( an annual vacation), nice clothing, a mother who helps her with her homework, piano playing and who almost always has time for her. We go to coffee shops together while she does homework and I paperwork. We have had countless hours of conversation between us. We eat out at least once a week. We go to the ballet and symphony. My daughter has a nice pet ( a beautiful dog whom she loves. ) Yes...She is a bit spoiled , which I know is not good, but she DOES know she is loved and worthy of my time.
For years now, we have had to downplay all this bc her friends and parents are jealous and talk against her at school.
THIS is how I was raised and think I was VERY, VERY fortunate.
What sadness I feel for these assembly - line children, so to speak. Each one has a persona ready to be developed but which is passing the critical individual threshold of age in which attention should have been given.
Shame on this feckless couple - Michelle and Jim- Bob , who denigrate human beings into cookie-cutter xeroxes.
One of the saddest things I saw of this family is when they were all playing their violins together. What was happening was a Suzuki -style group playing. This is perfectly fine - Suzuki is a powerful way of introducing a string instrument in the beginning years; however, what was utterly apparent to me is that THIS is as far as the young violinists would go: after initial years of group lessons of this sort, individualized, private lessons are supposed to be the next step. And I KNOW that these kids will never get to this step bc it is WAY TOO EXPENSIVE to teach each child individually. So... watching the video of the kids playing Suzuki- style on their violins was very bitter - sweet to me. The parents even used this to try to portray accomplishment of their children, but this "accomplishment" is very embryonic and will not be continued. ( Michelle and Bob give the impression that this will continue...Sorry... That is not how Suzuki works.)
Yes... I think there is some pathology here- and I say this as a Christian.
Blownaway on August 16, 2018:
From my own experience ( I'm from 11 children) I have not found that children from supersized families are more backward intellectually than their peers. All my siblings are intelligent and some of them are not only university educated but are working at the top of their fields. I know a family of 10 children who have all done extremely well not just career wise but overall, they are all loving kind people, not of them take drugs and I hate to say it they all look like they are out of a toothpaste commercial. They have exceptional parents who are well educated themselves and very devoted. I do think they are the exception. What I am going to say is that if a child has a tendency toward learning problems or a tendency to ward mental health problems or a tendency toward physical health problems, it is going to be that much more difficult to give that child and the rest of the children in the family the time they need if you have a supersized family. It is also about sustainability, perhaps for a time the energy can be put in but when raising children spans many decades and parents are older and more tired or there is a divorce or death or unforeseen problems, even the best of parents will likely struggle. I have seen a study where more intellectually backward parents are more likely to have many children so genetically and environmentally those children are obviously at a risk of also being a little backward but remember that doesn't mean brighter parents never have large families. I agree wholeheartedly though that very large families can be dysfunctional and I believe they are more likely to be so.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 09, 2018:
Exactly, children from large families catch hell. They aren't happy. Even those who claimed that they were happy are subconsciously unhappy Behind their "proclamations" of a "happy" childhood, there is quite the opposite. You are right, children from large families don't receive adequate parental love/attention. Children raise themselves in large families. There was a study done by Dr. Zajonc, a social psychologist who indicated that children from large families are more backwards & intellectually immature than children who are raised in small families. Children from large families are also impoverished. Struggle is a constant in large families. I have written many articles on the evil pathologies of large families. Yes, large families are EVIL!
Samoyeds on August 08, 2018:
This is the best article I have read so far about this weird couple.
I am a Christian and share their religious beliefs BUT DO NOT agree with their "Quiverfull" idea. The Bible does not espouse this. There was a time when most societies were based on agriculture and when the child death rate was very high; it made sense for a family to have more children.
I was a teacher for many years and had (mostly Hispanic) families with many children. I cannot tell you how much the children in these families competed for attention from their parents. There was so much sorrow because mom and dad never had any time for the children, who were ALWAYS being raised by older children. It was hard for me to even observe. Mom was always breastfeeding and dad was always busy working 3 jobs.
You see, children are creatures of such a nature that they really do need lots of attention: they thrive on it and they need it . When they do not get that attention, they will always be seeking it somewhere, later on in life. There will always be a dearth in their psyche because they did not get what they needed at that critical time in their lives.
I come from a family of 3 children and I can tell you that I was blessed with the most wonderful parents.We did not have a car, but we did everything together and my parents always made time for us.
When this happens, children develop an inner strength that serves them their entire life. No one will ever be able to validate a child more than a loving parent. Spending time, over and over again, with a parent says to that child:"You are worthy of my time; you are important' you need to be heard and conversed with; you need to have me spend time with you, etc. I affirm you; you need to be heard."
A smaller set of kids are not only the recipients of more time from their parents but of more MONEY:music lessons, language tutors, vacations, decent clothes; supplies, furniture, their own bedroom, pets, you name it!
I feel great sadness for the Duggar children as they seem to not even realize what they are missing. This whole program is predicated on one thing: getting married and having as many children as possible. THIS IS MADNESS! Is there nothing else in life than marriage and a family? And what about waiting off to get married, in order to travel , to see the world, to get an education, to create a profession or a career? Are these things wrong? Where would we be if all people thought like the Duggars? No one would be educated. There would be no professionals. And you know what: THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS IN 3RD WORLD COUNTRIES, WHERE EVERYONE HAS A BIG FAMILY, NO ONE IS EDUCATED AND EVERYONE IS IN PERPETUAL POVERTY.
THE ONLY REASON THE DUGGARS LIVE IN ANY SORT OF DECENT HOUSING IS BECAUSE OF THE MONEY THEY MAKE FROM THE SHOW. THIS SHOW SHOULD BE STOPPED IMMEDIATELY! LET'S SEE HOW FAMILIES WHO HAVE 20 KIDS FUNCTION IN THE REAL WORLD! HOW ABOUT SHOWCASING LARGE FAMILIES IN A REALISTIC TV SHOW - NOT SOME PROPPED - UP SHOW IN WHICH THESE LARGE PRODUCERS ARE BEING PAID TO PRODUCE.
How about showing the Duggars if none of them had the finances from their tv show? They thrive off this show! They do not support their families as a normal families: THEY SUPPORT THEIR FAMILIES FROM THE TV SHOW!!
How about a show depicting the real lives of a family struggling with 15 kids? How about showing THAT? How about showing how they eat as if on an assembly line, how they eat poor food, how they always wear hand-me- downs; how they have no privacy and how they can never have time alone with their mother or father; how the mother in the family always puts pressure on the older girls to parent; how they are being raised by older sisters; how the older sisters are never encouraged to get an education or go to the university? How about showing how the children - especially girls- are just expected to marry young and again reproduce and reproduce? How about showing what happens with the men who have to support these ever-growing families? And what happens in the case of divorce? I can tell you that when young men and women are not given the chance to just grow naturally into adults, without the pressure of marriage and children at a young age, the chances for a successful marriage are dim and the divorce rate is high: You cannot take adolescents, expect them to marry and turn into mature adults overnight because they are expecting a child! THAT IS SICK!!!
For Heaven's sake: LET THESE YOUNG PEOPLE HAVE A LIFE! They can still be Christians and follow God! Since when did God say THIS was the prescribed way of life, THIS was the superior lifestyle? Did you forget that Jesus never married nor had children?
I will forever thank God for the wonderful parents I had, for all the time and attention they gave me, for all the money they invested in me. Thanks God that they always had time for us 3.Thank God that MY parents were not Jimbob and Michelle Duggar! YUCK!!!
JIMBOB AND MICHELLE USE AND ABUSE THEIR CHILDREN!!!
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 13, 2018:
Lyse, you are intelligent in your response. There is a STRONG CORRELATION between large families, poverty, & child abuse. It has been occurring for years in Black, Latino, & Caucasian families. Large families have a vastly different culture than small families. Remember, parents of large families are far less intelligent & educated than parents of small families which explains the pathology which is the large family. Thank you for your smart, insightful response!
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 20, 2018:
Exactly, Annette, parents of large/very large families DON'T think, they just breed & breed. Parents of large/very large families are concerned about THEIR wants & obsessions. They view their children as possessions. Think of the Schwandts & Turpins, not just the Duggars. These "parents" are obsessed w/having children, not caring if they can afford these children or not. Children from large/very large families are dehumanized to the utmost degree. They live a life of want, struggle, & poverty. Yes, parents of large/very large families are idiots. You are spot on in your analysis. There was an article stating that children from large/very large families are THE LEAST educated & earn the LEAST in their lifetimes.
Annetta Dillon on April 20, 2018:
The Duggars and other fundies are living in la la land, and most especially where their daughters are concerned. Marriage and children can be their only job in life. Did their idiot parents ever stop to think what would happen if a daughter’s husband should die young leaving her with large families, very limited education, and no marketable job skills?
Blownaway on December 15, 2017:
I agree with you but I think what you are saying applies more to families with 6plus children and there may always be exceptions to the rule but I do acknowledge you are probably correct for the most part. I am from 11 children myself.
Amber on November 20, 2017:
I don’t agree with many of you about family size etc. It really depends on the reasons and parenting method used. I am Early 30’s have 5 and hope to have many more. We have ours close in age due to the possibility of becoming unable later on due to a health issue. It was advised we have them close and age if we intended on having a large family due to the potential not being fertile for private reasons. Our children are well loved and cared for and none are expected to help with younger ones besides basics such as older sibling may get younger sibling cup of water if moms busy etc. some skills come better from teaching kind of like the Montessori approach to learning. Our children will never be expected to parent the younger kids. Now how we have planned our family is the first four to be in school and preschool before the 5th is here becahse then the 5th has one on one time and the second portion of our family begins with the 5th child. Also yes the room looks like a dormitory in our home with all in one room but personal space is for sure there and as they get older when rooms and privacy is needed that’s something they will have. Also I knew a family of 15 separated by only 20 years. The older kids did help with the younger kids but they never complained and every one of the older kids was the honor roll type of kid the popular kid and was involved in sports and very popular social lives. They turned into doctors and lawyers and other reputable fields. Also all that are grown are having large families of their own and I would say the mother for sure raised them even if the older siblings helped. They were a remarkable family that had a ton of money but it never appeared that way in their home or with their vehicles because the father being a lawyer and success gave everything to the good of the kids and the kids to be exactly like their parents and that was successful and having large families and loving family . Money is not everything and for a moment in a family that loves and wants you replaces all the goods in the world. A parent is not successful just from the money they have but the gifts they pass onto the kids such as support and educational encouragement . I hope we are successful financially but if not I will find a way to give each of my kids the best education and a future even if I sacrifice all I have . I currently own three outfits and don’t have a ton of money but after redoing my kids laundry I determined my kids are dressed as if they are rich with more than they could ever need or want with clothing . Don’t judge to harsh.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 22, 2017:
EXACTLY! NO ONE needs MEGAFAMILIES. 1-2 CHILDREN are enough!
Amanda Roddy on September 22, 2017:
Long time here. But I also can't believe anyone still thinks they are great even after the scandals. Now their friends the Bates have a show too Gil Bates is named in a lawsuit after refusing to help a sexual assault victim. People say the are better but i digress.Whats the saying fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me.
THe Bateses like the Duggars couldn't afford all those kids. Gil quit a good paying job years ago to start a tree cutting service and I read he only works afternoons. I hope they ot health insurance for the younger kids now they didnt have before.Sure they seem happy but so did the Duggars at first.
Now poor Anna plus Kendra Joseph's new wife,got married off without any chance at finding themselves and like Jill preggers three months later.Kendra will likely follow.Funny her parents are younger than me lol Derick is getting crazier He criticized Jazz Jennings and posted a tirade against masturbation. I'm sure the Bateses feel the same and that they are being careful. ANyone who thinks this is great needs their head examined. None of these families need to be on TV.
Carole on September 03, 2017:
Used to love the show but now see it as absolutely out of touch with reality. If they didn't have the TV show to support this insanity, they would most likely be on welfare! To them, it's all about God saying it's okay to have as many children as possible. REEEEEALLY! God gave us brains to figure out our lives. Time has marched on and we now know we don't need to populate the world as in the beginning of time. If you didn't have a TV show to "play it forward," would you continue on this path? The children of this family need to step back and use what God gave them - and that would be BRAINS!
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 02, 2017:
As we all know, in large families, the oldest child or children always forego their education to help support the family thus the generational cycle of poverty continues. The Duggars are the prototype of the majority of large families in America. I used the Duggars as this large family prototype. It is not only the Duggars who are prominent but the majority of large families are like what is portrayed by them. The mother continuously pop out children, never raising them but giving them to the oldest/older children to raise. The childhood & adolescence of oldest/older children in large families are forfeited. They are forced to be adults early. Large families exemplify child abuse of the worst kind. Mothers of large families have some type of infantile, selfish need to procreate, not caring about the ramifications of their acts upon the existing family dynamic. As I have stated, large families are dysfunctional as well as pathological. I have written various articles on large families, check them out.
Linda paradise on August 02, 2017:
I completely agree with the previous author. The duggars have all those children to satisfy JB ridiculous sexual needs ( Michelle has said that it is the wife's duty to satisfy her husband at all times) and Michelle's need to always have an infant. Do the married children following in their parents footsteps realize the show and money can't go on forever. Then how will they support their litters then?
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 27, 2017:
I DON'T think so. People are SO TIRED of the incessant breeders.
Coco on May 27, 2017:
Is this family making news still? Gross
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on March 15, 2017:
Exactly, the Duggars are indeed very selfish. Thank you for stopping by and responding.
Jill Mclaughlin on March 15, 2017:
I agree with this article. It is sickening to see them keep popping out kids like a factory. And the sad part is that the girls that are now married are doing the same thing. Are they all going to have 20 kids apiece too? No one can properly raise that many children and it is not fair to the kids either. It's absolutely sickening to say the least. They should not be on TV glorifying this type of thing.
Lina on September 14, 2016:
Lori, did you by chance miss the "recent" news that the oldest Duggar child molested 4 of his sisters, the youngest of which was only 5 years old at the time?
We are finally starting to see the cracks. What can and does happen with fundamentalist "parents" of massive families. I'm not happy to be seeing the fallout (I mainly feel sorry for the girls in that family), but perhaps all these things we're learning about their oldest child will help folks realize that these people are NOT who they claim to be on tv.
ruth on July 30, 2016:
The duggars always bad mouth small family they think that parents of small family should have more children. Duggar send me email saying that I should have more children but i can't have any more children because my dr told me that if i have any more children i could die my sisters in law are in same boat as me
molly444 on July 04, 2016:
You know this family is "remarkable" just from watching television??? I won't say anymore, but I think you need to use your brain! Everything on television is fictional or at the very least made to look much better than it really is.
Lori on June 18, 2016:
This article is complete rubbish. This family is remarkable and each child is a gift. Each is unique and each is an integral part of the community. To say such thugs about them is shallow and misled. They are a real family with real problems, just like the rest of us. It is unfortunate they must live it all in front of an often vicious public public. I pray for them and ask for many blessings for each child. I have very much enjoyed watching them grow
firstname.lastname@example.org on June 14, 2016:
The Duggars said that God's punishing the homosexuals down in Orlando,Florida on this past Sunday. That Isn't God's doing that's Satan's doing.God doesn't punished people he'll do that during the judgement day.I know homosexuals will not inherit the earth. Homosexuals been around been around since the beginning of time .Michelle Duggar has no room to talk she has a sister is a lesbian .Everybody has family skeletons in the closet. God will deal with the homosexuals during judgement day.God's rules Don"t change.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 08, 2016:
Yes, something is amiss with Michelle. No person in his/her right mind has NINETEEN children. Where is the logic, really now!
U on June 08, 2016:
I read your commentary and it was very good. I believe that the Duggar mother definitely have a sick obsession of getting pregnant again. The Duggar mother and father is ignorant because they refused to realize that having 19 children is already enough. Both the Duggar parents should be lock up at a mental institution. The Duggar parents should be ashamed of themselves for not letting the children having fun. The most serious examples of this is that the parents never let their children trick and treat in every Halloween and lying to the children about Halloween and not letting them go to beaches. By not letting the children having fun, it make it clear that the Duggar parents love to have control over their children.
U on June 08, 2016:
The Duggars parents having 19 kids made me suspect that the Duggars is definitely hiding something. The Duggars mother giving birth at a fast rate every year make it clear she is using a contraceptive pr something like that.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 30, 2016:
Excellent commentary, in utter agreement. The Duggars as average parents of large/very large families have a quite different psychology perspective than parents of small families who truly care about the welfare & future of their children. Parents of large/very large families really don't care about their children beyond giving birth.
UHUH on April 30, 2016:
I disagree with you. I was raised by a parenst who were religious fanatics. I grew up with the same naive, idealistic, unrealistic thinking as their children are now growing up with. My sister, who was the older, opted not to have children as did the second oldest. They had already parented most of their lives, why should they want children. I think the reason that the Duggars are producing this many kids is because "God tells them to". My parents had 8 children because "Got told them to". My mother, who left my father and then became a lot more normal (it's good to be the youngest child who gets the normal mother, let me tell you!!!), only wanted 2 children. She couldn't have two children because "God said so" and my father would not "allow" it. Thankfully "God stopped at 8". This made my father rather angry which is interesting to me because this was "God's decision" so was he angry at God? Who knows. He's impossible to talk to because religion trumps all. I don't know what woke my mother up from the sick life she was living in a religious organization. I think she was just too smart to stay. "Men are rulers", "women should obey and let the man lead" "bring children into My family" (that's God speaking). It's put into your brain over and over an over. The same words are repeated until the brain forms patterns that can not be undone. Being raised by these parents has taken a toll on my life. Even though they divorced when I was young, I still got both of their "religious teachings". It was a constant submersion of "be a good person" "always do the right thing" "always do what you're told" "all people deserve forgiveness". I married a man who hit me, I forgave him over and over and prayed he would stop. That God would show him what I knew, that there was a better way. Idealism never works. Idealism is great when it is taught with realism but it very rarely is. You go to a Holocaust Museum, you should focus on the atrocities of a man destroying millions because he was on drugs and needed power. You shouldn't instantly equate with the religious aspect of abortion. It's just the idealistic conditioning over and over. I'm nwt in my 40s, have finally left my abusive husband and recently discovered that unless I deprogram, I am doomed to keep this vicious cycle going in my head. The guilt and confusion becomes unbearable. I have to "cheat" and pray so that my brain will relax. I have to repeat the words of the Bible I've heard all of my life just so I don't have anxiety attacks. My brain has been conditioned to relax when I hear those words, "seek God when you can't handle something, HE will handle it". You are not your own person. "God is in control". Once I am relaxed by these words, I can then formulate rational thoughts about what I want to do going forward and yet I still need to come back to the words to reach new levels. As a human, we seek to have control and most people make good choices and that's how they have good lives but when you grow up in religion, you are NEVER in control. "God is in control", your parents are given the "power" by God to make sure you follow. AKA they beat and drill it into you. I guess you could call it mental illness, I call it cult brainwashing. Mental illness to me is something you are born with, a part of the brain that has a physica.l chemical imbalance. I was born with a perfectly balance brain. I know this because I am capable of fighting the brain washing (at least now). I think this is more of a case of damaged parents, who are unsure of their own worth, raising kids to be damaged because they have decided to give their power over to something else instead of taking responsibility for their own actions and working through their pain. It's a copout basically. Sadly, my kids are now also damaged. I didn't figure it out in time to save them. I've convinced my daughter to try a different way with my grandson. She's not good at it because she only knows what she's grown up in, she's just not consistent enough. At my age, I could be consistent enough because I've figured it out. In the very least the boy is not being beaten into submission. I want her to work on more balance. He's a very nice boy who has never been hit. We just have to make sure he doesn't swing in the opposite direction and be thoughtless and callous. I don't know if that will work either because the truth is, I don't know how to raise mentally healthy children. I see so few of them in life. Almost everyone I know is into religion and religion and healthy children can never be synonymous. And so although I think that Duggars are severely mentally damaged, calling them mentally ill insults those who are actually mentally ill by chemical imbalace and deserve respect because they have a "disease". This is more of a case of broken people brainwashing their children by living in extremes and not being smart enough to raise their own children so they turn to a "God" to do so. After all "God is in control"! You are excused from all wrong doing because you are a mere mortal. Now forgive yourself and forgive others, wash, rinse, repeat.
Ripsimeh on December 02, 2015:
I am a professional teacher. I have been in the public educational system 20 years. Unfortunately it isn't just the Dugger family that expect children to raise children. I've seen people with 2 and 3 children have nothing to do with them. Where I worked we used to have meetings describing how our students lives were like outside of school. Almost all were latch key and had no supervision at all. Many parents were almost never home. I think it is important for all parents to decide if they want children that they will be there for them otherwise I think they shouldn't have any. Wow!! 19 children. How does this woman keep her private parts. I think many women would have had a prolapsed uterus long time ago. They really have 3 million dollars? Is this monthly or what. What is the frequency of their salary? Well if they are abusing the children someone phone child protective agency where they live. I don't know about the state where they live but in mine. Abusive parents get jail time and the children taken away
Farawaytree on October 15, 2015:
Great hub! I think we saw some of the dysfunction come out in the media this summer didn't we? Spot on!
dmartin on October 04, 2015:
I am sick of every time I turn on the internet there are the duggers. Why are there faces still smeared all over the place. Hearing that they only have like 3 million dollars and there in poverty, that they are trying to have another baby, they are starting a new reality show is revolting. Haven't we had enough of these people. They need to support the son in the help he needs and quit trying to produce more. Explain to the daughter she doesn't need to keep raising money and go to third world countries to learn spanish we have lots of people in this country she can learn from, and they all need to get jobs and a life. People quit falling for the garbage they are dishing out. I feel stupider every time I see one of there names.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 25, 2015:
I have stated that large/very large families are dysfunctional, even pathological.
Amanda Roddy on May 25, 2015:
The 'sin in the camp' story had been rumor or years. when I stopped being a fan, I still dismissed it. Now, the cat is out of the bag. The story goes Oprah was going to have them on an episode and someone tipped them off. One should figure Oprah wouldn't cancel an episode based on some gossip. She has money an connections.At the least, I think she was gong to ask them about it. Then, a commenter named'Alice' told the story how Oprah wined and dined them in Chicago before she got the tip,but it was never proven.
Anyhow, Josh should have been removed from that home. The though of them having to live with him and act as though everything is ok turns my stomach. Now, the original record has been destroyed. It makes me concerned for the Bates kids as well. Who knows what goes on there?. I wonder how common incest is in bigger families. If Gil and Kelly Bates had any sense they would take their kids off tv. Minor kids get paid nothing on reality tv in most states. Only a handful of states pay them as actors. This case is sad and I feel it won't be forgotten for a long time. I think for sure it has waken many fans up. P.S.It was Derick who tried to run over a cat.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 22, 2015:
I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW. I think you or another person has stated that before. I read the news yesterday. Large/very large families are PATHOLOGICAL in more ways than one. More news is YET to come.........and people have the unmitigated gall, nerve to say that small families raise spoiled, selfish children. While large/very large families raise delinquents, hoodlums, children w/no self-esteem, teen mothers, and other negative types. Children in large/very large families are very insular and parochial in outlook. Large/very large families are also dysfunctional in addition to being pathological. I bet that there is INCEST in that family also. Yes, it has HIT and more dark secrets are going to be revealed!!!!!
Rebecca O'Reilly from California on May 22, 2015:
Oh my GM the $#** has hit the fan! Duggars older son accused of child molesting! Your title for this Hub was prophetic. We are just beginning to find out the depth of this family's dysfunction.
BW on May 05, 2015:
What gets me is the hypocrisy and the double standards. The first season they dressed in hideous clothing, claimed they had no Internet or TV.
As they evolve you notice they have MACBOOK PROS, dressing in more stylish clothing, their hair is styled and they even wear makeup lol. They're making millions of dollars but try to portray that they're frugal and buy everything 'second hand'. And OMG they can't hold hands until they're officially 'engaged'? They can only have 'side hugs'??? I'm sure they're dencent Christian folk, but I just find some of their ways disgusting, unpractical and shocking at times.
They're in it for the money. They're writing books now? What kind of advice could these little girls possibly give? How to play house? How abstainence is the path we should take? As annoying as they Are, I wish them well!
triangles on April 05, 2015:
I am familiar with the Quiverful, Pearl, Gothard, etc. methods which the Duggar parents advocate. I find it all alien and in many ways abusive. But, I am also a professional astrologer and have been for the past thirty years, so I decided to take a quick look at the natal charts of some of the Duggar children to see if there are any aspects or patterns which would confirm my suspicions and the suspicions of many on this thread. I will begin by affirming there is trouble in paradise at the Duggar home.
One aspect that nearly all of the kids have is a Sun/Saturn and or Mars/Saturn. The sun represents the father, mars represents action and courage, and saturn represents restrictions, burdens, and responsibilities. In negative aspects (which is what they have), children feel fear and lack self esteem. Mars/ saturn aspect are frequent in children who have suffered emotional and physical abuse. Which children have Sun/Saturn or Mars/Saturn? Jana, John David, Joshua, Jason, Jordyn, Jackson, Jennifer, Jessa, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, James, and Jason.
In addition there are strong signs of anger in many of the charts. These kids may not be allowed to express it now, but one day it will come out. Who has major anger issues? Joseph, Joshua, Jason, Justin, Jordyn, Josiah, James, Jason, Jackson. Jordyn has a very difficult chart in terms of repression and anger, and I worry about her the most.
At least half of the children have difficult Venus/Saturn aspects which indicate a lack of warmth and nurturing.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on March 09, 2015:
Askme, well said. Parents of large families CAN'T devote the prerequisite attention to their children. That is simple mathematics. There are MORE children to go around and someone HAS to suffer which are usually the older children while the younger children receive THE MOST. That is why children from large families have serious issues including Madonna, the late Michael Jackson, and Mark Wahlberg. All had issues because they did not receive enough attention as children.
Rebecca O'Reilly from California on March 09, 2015:
THEY ARE ROBOTS. Devoid of emotion and empathy, similar to people with Asperger's. Recent controversy is one of the Duggar kids kicking a cat and laughing hysterically about it.
I highly disagree Alicia about "less problems in the World" if there were more people like the Duggars! I think the more mindless breeding, the more problems due to not enough adults to provide direction and emotional nurturing of their children!
Alicia Mc Cormack on March 06, 2015:
I think the Duggars are the most happy and well adjusted family I have ever seen! I wish I was one of those lucky kids. They are respectful, theyhave manners, they are loving and kind. If more families were like them we would have alot less problems in the world!
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 18, 2015:
Holly, you are correct in your assessment of the Duggar "parents". They care nothing at all about their children. Their children are indeed brainwashed and they are going to suffer unless they see what their "parents" are doing to them. However, it is highly improbable that these children will break away from their conditioning.
Holly D on February 18, 2015:
I agree with this article...the family is selfish & disgusting & in our world of over population they just need to stop. And, their beautiful kids are going to be a total brainwashed genetic contribution to our human race. They are disgusting.
email@example.com on December 11, 2014:
LR@You are making a logical fallacy-in other words a strawman.
good bar@Two of the daughters married this year.
good bar on December 01, 2014:
I can wait to see when these older two girl finally get in bed already
LR on November 14, 2014:
@Amanda-If women rape men in tight jeans, shorts, vests with no shirt underneath, and muscle shirts, men will rape them back in self-defense because they are physically stronger and bigger which makes them able to fight back. We should be aware of that. And we do slut shame women for raping men. It's dangerous for women to try to rape men because they will rape back.
Other than that men who dress provocatively to attract women are asking for trouble and then they fight back, rape, kill, or even kidnap women in self-defense as if they are predatory gigolos. A female who blames a male for wearing booty shorts and other manly provocative clothing, then there are issues with her as to why she was raped back in self defense. And men hate to be objectified by women because it hurts their masculinity. Female on male rape is dangerous and therefore emasculates men, causing them to be violent. Check out the comments on this blog about female on male rape: http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2012/07/movies-magic...
Canadian on November 10, 2014:
Everyone says that the family doesn't rely on government assistance..... but doesn't the american family subsudize something for child/baby bonus like they do in canada it might only be a small amount but it's something.....and times that by 19+ thats a good chunk of change. There was someone saying Jim bob is work 3.5 million ws that before or after the show??? You never see what happens behind the cameras only what they edit, so whos to say this family is ohh so happy?? I can guarentee theres stuff they dont want you to see which would be sure to 'ruin' the picture perfect family. They need to stop having kids, can michelle even feel sex anymore? Im sure her vagina is a revolving door and most likely loose. But i guess it's fine for Jim bob that creepy pediphile looking man.....wouldn't it be crazy if it turned out he was a child molester just like the dad on 7th heaven ???
Canadian on November 10, 2014:
I Think this family is crazy
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on November 09, 2014:
@Amanda, as I have reiterated endlessly-LARGE FAMILIES ARE PATHOLOGICAL! Need I say MORE!
Amanda Roddy on November 09, 2014:
Author Paul Hunter one of 21 kids, recently criticized the Duggars. He says his mom spent more time at a homeless shelter than with them and some of the older kids dont speak to the mom. In fact, his mom said to call her E and not mom. His dad did nothing bu work.
Also, we should be careful commenting only on how women dress. Men do the same thing with tight jeans, shorts, and muscle shirts. Look in third world countries where women still get raped fully clothed. Slut shaming is why some sexual abuse victims never come forward. Everyone should be responsible for their own eyes. When a male blames a female for wearing booty shorts , then there are issues with him.
donna on November 01, 2014:
Do any of you know Jim-Bob's net worth? It's 3.5 MILLION!
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on October 30, 2014:
@Lissa, of course the older children have NO normative childhood/adolescence. Not only the Duggars but typical oldest children in large /very large families spend their childhoods/adolescence raising younger siblings. Oldest children in such families become weary physically, emotionally,and psychologically quite early in life. They are akin to slaves/forced laborers. Prisoners of war have easier lives than the typical oldest child/older children in large/very large families. Parents of large/very large families are selfish, thoughtless, and careless pure and simple.
Melissa Clason from Fayetteville, NC on October 30, 2014:
I feel bad for those kids. Having time with your parents is very important, and they don't get to experience that. The older kids especially don't have a normal childhood, because they always have to watch the little ones. There's so much stress on them, and they shouldn't have to deal with that much responsibility at a young age. If they have more children, that means even more divisions of time and income to support each child, so each child will be more deprived of the things they need. It's unfair to the kids they already have, so they shouldn't have anymore. Also, the courting thing is really creepy D:
mellowde on October 29, 2014:
This quiverful stuff, isn't that what the chinese practice? And isn't that why there are so many in China that they have been behind the 8 ball so to speak for 25 centuries? Living in a house that looks like a barn in order to house and feed the large clan will have the effect of causing the children to leave like there's a plague at some point. The floodgate once opened will give the impetus for the children to flee. How many more marriages will occur in the next year or 2? And just to get out of the dysfunctional zoo? What goes around comes around. You use your children for self-agrandisement and it come back to haunt. The show will be 2 left and counting as the Duggars contemplate divorce and sale of community property so it can be divided between JimBobBoy and Michelle. Now that is a show all will watch.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on October 17, 2014:
Not only the "Quiverfull" families but such behavior occurs in typical large families. Corporal and other forms of harsh punishments are commonplace in large families. Parents are often emotionally and mentally overwhelmed in large families with the large amount of children in the household so they routinely resort to physical discipline to chastise children. Parents seldom talk to chilldren in large families so the only form of discipline is often corporal.
Large families cause more undue stress upon the parents as there are more children than they can emotionally/mentally interface with properly. The larger the family, the harsher the punishments because of the high level of stress. Again, THAT is why small families are better overall-LESS STRESS for the parents and MORE time to interact with their children.
Amanda Roddy on October 17, 2014:
It seems Quivefull keeps coming apart at the seams. First, Bill Gothard, Doug Phillips and now the Jeubs. The Jeubs were on a TLC special"Cheaper by the Dozen". Two of the oldest daughters(actually Wendy's) had lready left, but now two more older daughters have accused Wendy and Chris Jeub of abuse. Cynhtia Jeub describes the events on her blog, CynthiaJeub.com. They played the happy family in public. She said once Wendyhit her then 11 yr old brother so hard he had to wear make-up.It makes me concerned for the Duggars and Bates. I really cant picture them doing that to their kids, but you never know.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on October 15, 2014:
@Jan, children in large families DO lead hellish lives, especially the oldest/older children. They are conscripted slaves who must be on 24/7/365. Prisoners in gulags and forced labor camps have it better than oldest/older children in large families. Jan, I have written several hubs on oldest children in large/very large families, check them out. Such hubs describe your situation succinctly well.
I remember as a child, some of my friends from large families were always out and about. One of them called me to go out, I said no. She asked me why was I ALWAYS at home, well I was an only child and had no intrusive siblings, had space, and lots of privacy so there was NO need for me to ESCAPE. Many oldest/older children HATE being in large families because they are unpaid slaves. No child should have to endure this-all because of selfish, thoughtless parents who are too lazy to use contraceptives! Parents who have large families are mentally ill and in need of good psychiatric help for they are having children because of an unfulfilled need and void in their lives which could be used more constructively than to continuing pop out children ad infinitum!
JAN on October 15, 2014:
I agree that children in large families do not get enough parental attention. I am the third oldes of 8 - and I was a helper non-stop. I resented the endless messes my younger siblings made - and would beg my friends to have me visit their homes. My sister and I washed dishes for ten people every night. I am not saying my mom did not work hard also - but it really sucked to have to work so hard at an early age (10-18).
ALSO - no one has mentioned that there is a population explosion world-wide and these dummies claim there is not crisis. The planet is having a hard time sustaining the food supply and sanitation necessary - and they just keep popping out children.
I really think these people ARE mentally ill!!!
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on October 15, 2014:
@greeneyedblondie, this is what happens in families where there are 6 or children per household. The parents DON'T raise the children at all-not one iota. It is ALWAYS the oldest and/or older children who raise the younger siblings thus missing out on their childhoods/adolescent years. Many oldest children of large families DON'T have a life of their own nor individual time. They have to be there for parents and siblings 24/7/365. They are simply unpaid slaves. Slave laborers have more freedom than oldest children in large families.
That is a fact of life. Children from large families have very little or no parental interaction. Parents of large families are only parents in the physical sense of the word and in name only. That is they just reproduce and after the birth of the child, give the child to the oldest/older children to raise. Oldest children in large families are THE REAL parents in the family. That is why children in large families are attention starved. They receive little/no parental attention so they oftentimes have issues when they become adults. Many are not good parents because they did not have the proper parenting in their formative years. They have an arrested development as far as parenting goes. They make perfunctory parents because that was the way they were raised.
Children in large families also have no sense of self and no sense of privacy. They were taught that they, as individuals, are of no consequence and that the group is more imporant than the individual. They are told that to be an individual is akin to being selfish so having a sense of self is taboo and forbidden in large families. If you have ever observed a child from a large family, he/she has low high esteem and is self-abneging. They have nothing that they can call their own and no individual space. It is common for children in large families to live on top of each other and in the open. Privacy is a foreign word in the large family environment.
Children in large families simply aren't raised in normal environments like children in small families are. They have to raise themselves and/or each other from an early age as the parents AREN'T there for them. They also have to work from childhood to get the things that normal chlldren have. They have poor or no health, medical, and/or dental care. If it weren't for school doctors and nurses, children from large families wouldn't receive any type of medical care at all. They consume inferior quality food as more nutritious food is cost prohitive to the average large family. Children in large families learn to DO without VERY EARLY and it is a constant condition in the large family environment. That is why children in large families develop a poverty mindset, psychology, and consciousness because SOCIOECONOMIC WANT and POVERTY is a normative lifestyle in large families. They also wear inferior and cast off clothing.
In large families, socioeconomic depression is not just a economic slump but every day life in large families. Most large families are either poor to impoverished with children have only the rudiments if they are lucky. The average large family receives some type of aid in order to stay socioeconomically afloat. Parents who have large families are thoughtless and unconcerned regarding the welfare of their children. Small families are better for the children in terms of parental time, attention, and in socioeconomic opportunies. I wrote the article on the Duggars to demonstrate the detriments of large family life. The Duggars were simply prototype of the quintessential parent of large families.
greeneyedblondie on October 15, 2014:
I love the idea for big families, but 19 (and 20) can seem like a bit much--especially if it's all the older children doing the raising. I HATE that idea. I want to have a big family myself someday but I really hate it when the oldest(s) are "mommy's and daddy's little helpers." Why can't the rest of them be "helpers?" Why can't they all be children? The religious aspect always creeped me out. With that big of a family religion can become like a cult.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on October 14, 2014:
AMEN, Amanda, a RESOUNDING AMEN. You see large families have a quite different psychology than small families. You are right in saying that the kids "don't care" about 75 cents shirts; however, they DO care when other children wear more expensive, better quality clothing. These are the kids who shake down more affluent children for money and cut their clothes because they have inferior quality clothing. Children in large families are inculcated to believe that they are less, personae non gratae, and oftentimes have the lowest of imaginable self-esteem. They believe that to have any sense of self is selfish hence EVIL. Parents of large families are doing their children a .........GREAT DISSERVICE!
Amanda Roddy on October 14, 2014:
I just read a post titles"Why Have More Kids" obviously by a Quiverfull follower. They have 6 and expecting 7. The mom got a comment saying if you are tired why do you keep having kids. Then she talks about how they are gifts from God and so forth.You can tell the judgment in her comments and supporters. I left a comment saying you don't love kids. you just like having them. She seems ot understand a couple may be infertile but she really comes down on those who limit family size on purpose. Sure, the kids may not care about 75 cent shirts from thrift stores. It is because of the poverty mindset instilled in them and they feel unworthy of anything better. Now, I don't think there is anything wrong with used clothing, but kids need to feel like they are individuals worthy of a new outfit occasionally . It isn't their fault the parents had too many kids. I really feel bad for these kids. They are treated like trophies in Quiverfull..
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on October 12, 2014:
Not only selfish but unthinking and evil. There is no positive way to describe parents who reproduce ad infinitum. Such "parents" are evil and unthinking in addition to being egotistical. They want to make THEIR MARK in society; however, having a lot of children does not equal strength but impoverishment. It is utterly futile to have a large family as you and your children are reduced to socioeconomic poverty hence powerlessness. There is NO power en masse but there is POWER in economic wealth. It is those with money who has the ultimate power. Sad, that so many fail to realize this. Oh well.......
Rebecca O'Reilly from California on October 12, 2014:
Selfish? Yes I think so VJGSA
VJG from Texas on October 09, 2014:
The mother has said that the older kids help raise the younger kids. My wife says that's not fair to the older kids and the younger kids don't have mom and dad as their parental figures. Could having 19 kids be considered selfish?
carrol on October 01, 2014:
the devil is sure incharge of these horny horny horny freaks.get them all fixed
LR. on September 19, 2014:
@Angye-What do you think of boys giving their penises to everyone and getting naked and flexing their muscles in front of cameras drunk and not having friends with benefits? Sure there are lots of males who do that that old-fashioned males hate it and think it's not gentlemanly for boys to give their penises to anyone, get naked, and flex their muscles like male hookers and male strippers. To them, any male like that has no class when he flaunts his half-naked to naked body to women, especially married women who have husbands who could kill these men.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 18, 2014:
Askme, Amy's idiotic rant is typical large family thinking. I have deleted her post as it is too unintelligent for words. Large-very large families teach their daughters to be forced laborers and that they are subordinate to male authority. It teaches sons that women are inferior objects to be done with as they will. It also teaches sons not to respect women i.e. the Kennedy brothers believed that they were superior to women and saw women as nothing but vessels. Children in large-very large families have a POOR sense of self as they are inculcated in the premise that self-love and self-assertion are SELFISH and EVIL. No, contrary to the idiotic philosophy that children from large-very large families are independent, children from such families tend to be act and think in packs. They are uncomfortable being alone and will be/marry anyone to avoid being alone. That is so sad, Askme. I LOVE being alone. It is sad to grow up anonymous and in a crowd. Thank you for stopping by Askme, you are ALWAYS welcome. The average person from a large-very large family is an anonymous cog, not an individual!
Rebecca O'Reilly from California on September 18, 2014:
Proving GM's point again Amy! Such anger and nastiness.
And Amy, regardless of what you think having " 19 and counting" kids is not anyway to raise children who are confident, independent and self-sufficient. especially with the intrusive eye of the camera on you at all times. My guess is one of these kids would freak out if they found them self all alone one day. They have no clue about who they are, how to be an independent strong person. It all about MOB thinking and never asserting yourself! Sad, very sad.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 18, 2014:
@Nancy, I want to add that people who willingly have large-very large families rate low on the intelligence quotient. They are also selfish and abhorrent parents who only care about what THEY want, they really don't give a good rat's ------about their children's well-being and future. They are condemning their children to impoverishment throughout life and fifth best. In essence, children from large-very large families will experience only CRAP in life.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 18, 2014:
I used the Duggars as a prototype for large-very large families. Large-very large families are indeed pathological, if not abhorrent.
NancyJarrett from Lompoc, California on September 18, 2014:
I agree with your opinion about large/very large families. I see how you all come to this conclusion.
I would like to know why you all seem to only pick out the Duggar's? I am sure there are other families out there that have just as many children, if not more.
The record holder for having one mother giving birth to 69 children.
Years ago large families were needed to work fields and ranches. I am sure there are a lot of people in the south that still have large/very large families. My step-father came from a family of 14 kids. They lived in a small house in Tennessee.
My step-father only had a third grade education. He had to go to work to help support the family. He also told us, that incest was away of life in his family.
We have a little thing called birth control and abortions. There is no reason to have that many children.
I just don't understand why the Duggar name is even mentioned in these post.
Yes, they chose to put their family on display for the world to see. That in it's self makes them a target. However, if this is just a forum on large/very large families then lets leave their name out of it.
Reality shows on television are anything but real life. As far as i am concerned, they can take all the reality shows off and put Carol Burnett back on.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 17, 2014:
@Nancy, in the typical large-very large family(6 or more kids per family), girls are inculcated to be wives and mothers from childhood. Education is not stressed so much for girls of large-very large families as it is thought that they are going to get married anyway. In large-very large families, sons are more important than daughters. Girls in large-very large families are taught to be subordinate to the males in the household. In large-very large families, everything is strictly hierarchical. There is very differential treatment in large-very large families-oldest/older children are waylaided/cast aside, middle children are lost in the shuffle, and the youngest/younger children are pampered and indulged. Daughers, esp. oldest/older daughters, in large-very large families are slaves on call 24/7/365.
While your small family Nancy was an exception. Life in small families is beautiful and idyllic where children are loved, given the utmost attention, opportunities, and amenities. Parents love and care for their children in small families, they RAISE the children, not push them off on the oldest/older child to raise. Daughters in small families(1-2 children per family) are treated as individuals and are expected to be educated and successful. Daughters in such families are treated equal to sons in the typical small family. Large-very large families are HELL, prisoners live better than children in the large-very large family.
Amanda Roddy on September 17, 2014:
Angye@The DUggars look all nice on TV. These young women do more than help.As far as 'giving away vaginas' that is extreme black and white think. They are just as obsessed about sex as those who sleep around. Jim Bob dry humps Michelle on a gofl course in front of their kids who cant hold hands Jim Bob asked Michelle does this turn your on? Another time they were making out telling the unmarried couple Jessa and Ben you cant do this yet. The Duggars act so proud of themselves it is worse than 'giving away vaginas'.
NancyJarret I am sorry for you situation but it doesnt justify the Duggars.Larger families for some reason have always been associated with higher moral values. That is not the case when I read about those who grew up like the Duggars.
NancyJarrett from Lompoc, California on September 17, 2014:
I agree with you in part. I can't remember my father because he was absent in my life. My mother was not functioning do to her alcohol use and prescription drug use.
From the time I was nine, I was running the house, laundry, dished, vacuuming and so on. I was also taking care if my mother. I didn't have a normal childhood. My childhood stopped at age nine with the struggle to hide my mothers condition from everyone. I couldn't have friends over to our house. However, my brother did have a childhood. He went to his friends house instead of having them over.
I forgot to mention in my first post, that my father had three other daughters by two other wives. My mother was the only one to give my father a son he so deeply wanted.
Dysfunction is born from the dynamics of the parents. The way children are treated within that family. As I pointed out in my first post, the society of my family placed more value on sons then daughters.
I was just wondering if this form of thinking still holds true in large families? When I watch the Duggar family, I see the females as only future wives and homemakers and also to make babies.
Their mother seems to be glad that her older daughter is to marry and is looking forward to new grand babies with and almost sick joy.
Perhaps since my father had six children even though we never all lived together, the large family dynamics were an underline issues.
In closing, my mother would have had more children but she and any future children were at high risk. You see, she was RH negative and my father was RH positive.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 17, 2014:
@Nancy, you're wrong! If your family was large-very large(6 0r more kids) your situation would be more dire. You would be RAISING your younger siblings in addition to taking care of your mother. You would not have a life at all. You would have never married but used for the benefit of your mother and then your younger siblings. Your life would not be your own at all. Your situation although bad isn't as bad as most. The average child in a large-very large family grow up impoverished and parents DON'T give him/her the prerequisite parental attention. These children raise themselves and each other due to the parents' endless reproduction, thinking of THEIR needs, not the children's. At least you did not go hungry and had the amenities and your father was there. In large-very large families, parents AREN'T there for the children, they had to struggle even for the rudiments. Be grateful for what you had-you had a father although your mother was an alcoholic, she was intelligent and responsible enough to have a small family.
NancyJarrett from Lompoc, California on September 17, 2014:
I have spent most of my evening reading the pros and cons about small families vs large ones.
I was born in 1954 in California. The society was very different in those days compared to today.
I have one older brother. We are 15 months a part. In those days women stayed home and raised the children, cleaned house, did errand, and made all the meals. Son's were treated differently than daughter's.
My mother was a den mother for the boy scouts and a brownie leader. She was also the PTA President.
My father worked in Glendale, commuting daily to his job.
We had nice three bedroom house in Anaheim. All the food we could eat, nice clothes and shoes. We didn't want for anything. Here is where the story takes a nice twist.
On the outside to friends and family we looked and acted like the perfect upper middle class family. Once you pull the curtain is pulled back, you saw a mother and father giving all the love and attention to the son, because in these times, male children were thought more highly of then daughters.
I can't help thinking this form of thinking, still goes on today. I see it in the Duggar family. Male children are seen as manual hard labors where as the girls are treated as homemakers, babysitters for the younger siblings. However, form of thinking applies to families with one to two children when there is one of each sexes in the family dynamics. At least it was in my family.
If you go by todays definition of abuse, my brother and I would have been taken away from my parents. My father, although he lived with us was absent most of the time do to his long commute to work.
My mother was a closet alcoholic and prescription drug abuser. At the age of nine it was my duty to take care of the house and my mother. When my father died three years later, my mother took to her bed for four months. My brother paid all the bills (my mother had him put onto her checking account) it was up to him to make sure he and I ate. In the year of 1967 fast food was just starting to come into fashion.
We were not allowed to talk to uncles, aunts, cousins, or grandparents about what was happening in our home. There really were no child abuse laws like we have today. Neither my brother or I would have contacted the police, children just didn't do that. There was one time I told my grandfather, between my brother and my mother I was properly punished and told never to speak of what was really going on in our house. I was dubbed a liar within my extended family.
Of course no one would ever think my mother would neglect her children during her time of grief.
My brother and I have not seen or spoken to each other for over 30 years.
He got married in 1970 and moved far away.
I got married in 1971 and moved far away.
I took care of my mother till the day she died.
My family was, if not more dysfunctional as a large family. When my father past away, my family died with him.
Angye on September 16, 2014:
OMG !! I just read this and Im totally surprise. What is that thing about having nannies raising or helping ?? I guess is kind a duty if Im the older to help the youngest. Honestly I dont see whats wrong with this family, the kids are well dressed, feed and educated. I remember when Michelle used to buy clothes in second hand stores and is perfectly fine. Im european, well educated as well as my husband and we dont believe in nannies or any other help. I have a career and I gave up in order to raise my kids. That was my believe and not release my duties to an stranger. I dont have mental traumas and in fact I was the only child with a silver spoon when I born. I have 4 boys and are well educated and I raised to be a gentleman. I can do everything and I teach them that..from cooking to build a wall or teach my knowledge in medicine. I found the Douggars well educated and even I dont believe in their religion I found that they dont hurt anybody. If TL paid them, fantastic!!!!!!!!! Bravo ...at least I dont have a bunch of red necks living on my taxes..and believe me I have a lotttttttttt in NY. So please dont pretend that everybody around is sick because they decide to have a large family that dad supports. BTW those girls are fantastic and they dont have "friends with benefits" which the only benefit is giving their vagina to everybody and getting naked in front of cameras or totally drunk. Sorry Im an old fashion woman
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 16, 2014:
@Amanda, thank you again for stopping by as you are always welcome to do so. The "life" of children in large-very large families is full of socioeconomic struggle, even being impoverished. Children live at the MOST basic existence with very little food, inferior clothing, no health/medical/dental care, living on top of each other-living in the open, having very little adult guidance.
There was a study by Zajonc, a psychologist, indicating that children in large-very large families are intellectually undeveloped and immature because all they have to communicate with are OTHER siblings. They raise themselves(that goes without saying) or each other. It's a very primitive existence at best. Children from large-very large families look like orphans-malnourished, wearing clothing that no one else would wear, etc.
Well, the "life" of children in large-very large families can be described as........HELL. You have elucidated the point so succinctly! Homeless people in shelters live better than the average child in a large-very large family!
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 16, 2014:
@Amanda, you are talking to a brick wall. That woman is typical of a parent of a large-very large family. They believe in reproducing children ad infinitum, not caring about the ramifications of this act on their children. Parents of large-very large families really don't care if their children have a socioeconomic affluent lifestyle. It is typical for parents of large-very large families to live from hand to elbow. Amanda, the average large-very large family is from poor to very impoverished. Again, I sincerely doubt that the woman in question has a doctorate degree because no one with a doctorate degree has the lacksadaisical attitude that she has toward family planning. Her thinking is more in line with a person with little education.
You are right as usual Amanda. Children need things beyond the rudiments. They need beauty, culture, and luxury. However, children in large-very large families DON'T have beauty, culture, and luxury. They are lucky to have the bare rudiments, if that. They live an existence which one can describe as very primitive, even prisoners live better than children from large-very large families.
Of course, children from large-very large families DON'T get individualized parental time. That is why they have attention issues and look for attention in all the wrong places. Most of the children who join gangs are from large-very large families because they did not receive the prerequisite attention from their parents. Many children from large- very large families are prey to the some of the more negative types of people because they did not receive the prerequisites at home. There are girls from large-very large families become teen mothers because they feel for the first male who gave them attention. Large-very large families are aberrant and any parent who elects to have such families need psychiatric counselling for they are not mentally sound.
Amanda Roddy on September 16, 2014:
Czette@No money isnt everything, but it doesnt mean to throw away all logic about having kids.Kids deserve roofs over their head and full bellies each night They need to experience culture.
There is no way 19 kids get one on one with parents. I recall in early episodes they had a sign up sheet on the frig if the kids wanted one on one time.Michelle doesnt even homeshcool anymore. I really cant see how they spend more time with each kids than parents who work. Furthermore, the kids do not have choices. I fail to see 21 people all wanting to follow the courtship rules, females all wanting to wear skirts and so forth.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 15, 2014:
@Askme, the woman does not have a Doctorate from Princeton. Seriously doubt it! No one has an advanced degree and does not understand simple grammar, c'mon now. That and OTHER things! Then she indicated that money isn't important. Yes, IT IS. To reiterate, large-very large families have a poverty consciousness which is the result of growing up in LACK! SAD, isn't it. Well, ALL kinds, ALL KINDS!
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 14, 2014:
Askme, I refuse to respond to Cozette as she is the quintessential parent of a large family(I shall not go into details but the point is aptly illustrated in her response) is critical of parents in small families who plan for their children's future. So what if the parents have nannies for the children. Parents of large families have NANNIES also-they are called OLDEST/OLDER children who are forced to parent their younger siblings while the parents aimlessly and mindlessly reproduce. What a hypocrite statement. At least nannies are adults while the oldest/older siblings are children themselves.
Askme, I seriously doubt that she has a Ph.D. A child in late elementary school knows the difference between there and their. This is simple grammar. As I have stated before, it is the lesser educated parent who has large-very large families because they do not or will not realize the benefits of family planning. It is also the less intelligent parent who apt for large-very large families, knowing the detriments physically, emotionally, psychologically, mentally, and especially socioeconomically if having a large number of children.
Askme, parents of large-very large families have a vastly different mentality and psychology from the rest of intelligent, educated, and normal people. No use in beating a dead horse. A "Doctorate" from "Princeton"? Oh, please, no one can have a Ph.D. from Princeton and be this clueless, really now. Nice talking to you again Askme. You are always welcome to come by..
Rebecca O'Reilly from California on September 14, 2014:
Cozette Doctorate degree? "There" as in "over there" and Their as in "their beliefs. You don't seem to understand the difference.
I think you are asking how we would feel having our lifestyle judged? For starters my lifestyle has not been put out there for all to see. I am not opening myself up for the World to watch, evaluate and yes judge my lifestyle whereas the Duggars are.
We live is a free speech society. If you put your life on TV for all the World to see, then you can expect others to voice their opinions. You have to take the good with the bad. If the Duggars don't like being criticized, then go back to your private life and shun the TV, promotions, and publicity.
LR: yes I agree. These kids are getting married before they have fully developed as people. They have no idea about who they are, what the like, what they believe. With the younger brothers chaperoning the engaged couple, the couple has no privacy to talk freely about how they want to live their lives, intimate details that only a couple should discuss and know about each other--can't happen with the intrusive little eyes of a younger sibling watching.
Think about this: how much do you trust your children to be mature enough to get married if you don't trust them to be alone with their engaged???
Amanda Roddy on September 12, 2014:
Did anyone catch the time a couple of seasons or so ago the camera crew asked the kids who wanted a small family and not a peep?
Jill seems to be happy playing house and with Quiverfull. But what happens 3-4 kids later and it's not so rosy anymore and she changes her mind about the whole babies are blessings thing? I think that happened to Anna.
It is ashamed these young people cant avoid pregnancy the first time getting intimate and on a honeymoon. Of course, the die hard fans see it a good thing. I had hope for Derick, but that dwindled. I actually believed Derick would put his foot down on the whole Quiverfull thing.Obviously the Duggars have reeled him in too. Parents should stay out of their kids' reproductive lives. They shouldn't have to make vows of leaving kids to God in their ceremony. Where is this in the Bible? Some are trying to pinpoint when Jill got pregnant. I 95% doubt she was pregnant before the honeymoon. It annoys the fans, but if it were a Gosselin, they would be doing the same.
LR on September 12, 2014:
@Askme-Don't you think it sounds like the Duggars are marrying off their daughters/sisters to boys in their church/religion only? I mean, they intervene too much in their relationships and not let them enjoy. It's typical of fundamentalist religious people.
cozette on September 11, 2014:
What is wrong with you? Why do you have so much hatred? You COMPLETELY missed the point on why they do this. There views on life state money should not be the MEANING to life, but instead love and spending time together as a family. Money is temporary, love is forever & something you will always have with you for eternity! Your post is filled with so much ignorance, I would like to judge you on the life style you mainly support;
I can't believe you ship your kids to school for 9 hours a day, then keep them at daycare until 6, where you then pick them up at spend 2 hours with them before bedtime. Your kids are obviously not getting enough time with their PARENTS. Parents are the PRIMARY CAREGIVER. Children learn most of what they know off there parents. But here you are, sticking them with different people each day, knowing very little about what they're actually doing. What are kids for? They're to raise, protect and love. What are you doing? Sticking them with nannies, because oh "I can afford it" while in the mean time you spend insignificant amount of time with your kids and yet somehow wonder why they're 16 going out and having sex, drinking alcohol and experimenting with drugs.
How did someone judging your lifestyle feel? The Duggar family spends all day together homeschooling and spending quality time with each other. They're with each other every day all day, believe it, they spend more than enough time together! What they do is they're choice and growing up in a big family teaches you so many valuable lessons! I don't see who they are hurting. The children are free to make whatever choices they please when they are old enough. You act like money is everything, where actually, money is just an excesory. Not the primary meaning of life! My oldest boy is studying law and my oldest daughter is a midwife, we are very educated and my life decision is the greatest gift I could have every asked for. We live comfortably and all of my older children each have their own bedroom. Friend, you must learn how to not critique and judge things you do not understand! I will pray for you.
-Cozette, homeschooling mother of 10, between 3-23, private piano teacher in the evenings & Doctorate degree in music education from Princeton University.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 10, 2014:
@Askme and Colleen, as I have stated time and time again, parents of large-very large families clearly DON'T care about their children. All they care about is reproducing children and handing off to their oldest/older child/children to raise. Parents of large-very large families are extremely narcissistic and have mental issues, sometimes bordering on the psychotic. They just thoughtlessly have children without thinking about how to care for them emotionally, psychologically, and especially financially. Large families are more like to be in the lower socioeconomic strata than small families. It is not uncommon for large families to be poor, even impoverished.
I have written several articles on large families and its detriments. Children from large families LACK. They have an inferior quality of life in terms of parental care/attention, intellectual stimulation, poor nutrition/health/dental care, and poor living conditions. They do not have the things that normal children have. Many large families have to depend upon charities, donations, and have outside assistance to stay socioeconomically afloat. Children from large families lead a tough, primitive, hardscrabble life.
Parents of large-very large families do not love their children like parents of small families who are loving, caring, and attentive parents who care about their children's wellbeing physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, and socioeconomically. The average parent of a large-very large families have quite a lacksadaisical attitude toward their children, if their children success, fine and if they fail, so what.
Many parents of large-very large families view their children as mealtickets because they are unable to take care of their children. They figure that the more children, the more income. They even take their children out of school and make them work in order to supplement meager parental income. The average parents of large-very large families are very callous towards their children. There is no warm feeling between parent and child like there is in the small family. That is why so many grown children from large-very large families are attention deprived and emotionally needy. They did not receive enough love and attention from their parents.
It is also typical for children from large families to raise themselves as their parents sure as heck are seldom, if ever, there for them. It is a very precarious existence being in a large-very large family. The ninth circle of hell is preferable than being in large-very large families. The Duggars are only a prototype of the typical, uncaring parents of large-very large families.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 10, 2014:
Askme and Colleen, WTF is an understatement to describe this impaired family( cannot say the EXACT synonym). The children are drones, DRONES who mindlessly follow their parents because they don't know any better. They are ------------ beyond description. Do you hear the theme song for THE ADDAMS FAMILY? They're creepy and they're screwy, the Duggar family. The Duggar children aren't going to sue their parents if the money is mismanaged; all they are going to do is think that the "parents" had their "best" interests at heart. Sad, sad situation, hmmm. They probably won't have any money. They will have meager and minimal skills at best. The only jobs they will have are jobs that will be automated and/or outsourced. Midwive jobs are very, very few with doctors doing the delivery. Well, there will be welfare if it is not severely streamlined. The Duggar children will be in...........HELL-up the proverbial creek without a paddle. Sinking, sinkING, SINKING...........