CelebritiesMoviesTVAnimationFilm Industry

The Duggars Are an Extremely Dysfunctional Family

Updated on April 19, 2016
gmwilliams profile image

Grace has seen the negative impact of large families through her extended family.It's thoughtless to have more children than one can afford.

What is with the Duggars? Nineteen children, really now.
What is with the Duggars? Nineteen children, really now.

19 Children? When is Enough, ENOUGH?

It is IMPOSSIBLE or NEAR IT for parents to give individualized attention to 19 children.However, THIS does not faze the Duggars one bit. They have children without considering the ramifications it has on the rest of the children in the family.
It is IMPOSSIBLE or NEAR IT for parents to give individualized attention to 19 children.However, THIS does not faze the Duggars one bit. They have children without considering the ramifications it has on the rest of the children in the family.
What about the other children? What are THEY thinking?It is evident that these children are not receiving the individualized parental attention they need.
What about the other children? What are THEY thinking?It is evident that these children are not receiving the individualized parental attention they need.
In the Duggar family as with the majority of large and very large families, it is the OLDEST/OLDER children who raise the younger children, NEVER THE PARENTS.
In the Duggar family as with the majority of large and very large families, it is the OLDEST/OLDER children who raise the younger children, NEVER THE PARENTS.
The Duggar children have no privacy, they have to live on top of each other.The concept of privacy and individual space is nonexistent in the Duggar and in many large and very large families.
The Duggar children have no privacy, they have to live on top of each other.The concept of privacy and individual space is nonexistent in the Duggar and in many large and very large families.
The Duggars are adherents to the Quiverfull vement which totally eschews any method of birth control.
The Duggars are adherents to the Quiverfull vement which totally eschews any method of birth control.

Anyone Who Has 19 Children Is Severely Mentally Ill

There is a television program on TLC Discovery Channel which centers around an Arkansas couple called the Duggars. They are the parents of an extremely large family. They presently have a total of nineteen children. Yes, nineteen children! You heard me correctly!

The Duggars are an anomaly in this day and age of scrupulous family planning. They are adherents of the fanatical religious sect, the Quiverfull Movement. This movement espouses no form of birth control and to have as many children as " God sends you". However, during her early years of marriage, Michelle Duggar used birth control;and she miscarried.

When the Duggars started to have children, they elected not to use any type of contraception but to let it rip. The philosophy of the Duggars are the children are wealth, a blessing, and the more the merrier. They assert that their large family is indeed a blessing.

Is it really? Let's study the situation. Before their television show and book earned them millions of dollars, the children lived cramped together in a very small house . However, they live in a slightly large house since their television show. Their children's bedroom is a dormitory-like setting with multiple bunk beds. They have no privacy at all. To top all this, they have to schedule time with their parents WEEKS ahead.

Their older children have no childhoods at all. They function as primary caregivers and it is mandatory that they raise their younger siblings. Their parents do not raise the children at all. However, the Duggars INTEND to have more children. This does not make sense to most educated, normal, and intelligent people. ,We have been educated to know that when a person becomes a parent, it is their responsibility to raise their children, not the other children in the family. If a parent is affluent enough, he/she usually hires an au pair and/or a nanny to help raise their children.

Although the Duggars have money to hire nannies and au pairs to raise their children, they elect not to do so. Instead they have their oldest children consigned to slave labor status as handmaidens and servants to their younger siblings. Psychologists decry parents who have children raise other children. Psychological studies state the children do not have the maturity nor the development to raise other children. The studies assert that the raising of children is an ADULT responsibility, not ANOTHER CHILD'S responsibility. I concur with those studies. An older sibling raise a younger siblings constitutes child abuse.

Furthermore, many women, including Michelle Duggar, have an inordinate amount of children because of "baby hunger". Psychological and sociological studies maintain that there are many women who continuously get pregnant because they crave infants. Once their children leave infancy, they miss this and have another child. This is a form of mental illness. These psychologically challenged women continue to have children, oftentimes to the neglect of the older children in the family. This is what Michelle Duggar is doing. She is neglecting the older children to continuously have children to satisfy her "baby hunger".

It is evident that the oldest children in the family are neglected and relegated to the status of servants to the parents and younger siblings. Most rationally minded parents stop at one or two children because they believe that it all they can care for emotional and psychologically. Financial affordability is not the only factor in deciding how many children a couple has Emotional availability should be another factor. Just because a couple is highly affluent it does not give them a license to have a large family. Psychological and sociological studies authenticate that as family size increases, parents are unable to invest much emotional time in the caring of their children.

To state it succinctly, the Duggars are UNABLE to care for their children. Yet, the Duggars indicated that they wanted a twentieth child. This is totally insane. They do not even take care of the other nineteen they have. They have it very easy as parents. That job is done by their oldest children. There was one segment of the series in which the oldest daughters wanted to travel but the mother forbade it because she wanted them to look after her infant child

The Duggars are a selfish, narcissistic couple in need in of a good psychiatrist. They do not care about their children at all. They just have children because they want to satisfy their "baby hunger" instead of intelligent planning for the amount of children they can PROPERLY care for. The Duggars are not to be praised but to be pitied. They seriously should undergo intense psychiatric treatment as there is definitely something amiss with them.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 weeks ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      EXACTLY! NO ONE needs MEGAFAMILIES. 1-2 CHILDREN are enough!

    • Amanda Roddy profile image

      Amanda Roddy 3 weeks ago

      Long time here. But I also can't believe anyone still thinks they are great even after the scandals. Now their friends the Bates have a show too Gil Bates is named in a lawsuit after refusing to help a sexual assault victim. People say the are better but i digress.Whats the saying fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me.

      THe Bateses like the Duggars couldn't afford all those kids. Gil quit a good paying job years ago to start a tree cutting service and I read he only works afternoons. I hope they ot health insurance for the younger kids now they didnt have before.Sure they seem happy but so did the Duggars at first.

      Now poor Anna plus Kendra Joseph's new wife,got married off without any chance at finding themselves and like Jill preggers three months later.Kendra will likely follow.Funny her parents are younger than me lol Derick is getting crazier He criticized Jazz Jennings and posted a tirade against masturbation. I'm sure the Bateses feel the same and that they are being careful. ANyone who thinks this is great needs their head examined. None of these families need to be on TV.

    • profile image

      Carole 6 weeks ago

      Used to love the show but now see it as absolutely out of touch with reality. If they didn't have the TV show to support this insanity, they would most likely be on welfare! To them, it's all about God saying it's okay to have as many children as possible. REEEEEALLY! God gave us brains to figure out our lives. Time has marched on and we now know we don't need to populate the world as in the beginning of time. If you didn't have a TV show to "play it forward," would you continue on this path? The children of this family need to step back and use what God gave them - and that would be BRAINS!

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 2 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      As we all know, in large families, the oldest child or children always forego their education to help support the family thus the generational cycle of poverty continues. The Duggars are the prototype of the majority of large families in America. I used the Duggars as this large family prototype. It is not only the Duggars who are prominent but the majority of large families are like what is portrayed by them. The mother continuously pop out children, never raising them but giving them to the oldest/older children to raise. The childhood & adolescence of oldest/older children in large families are forfeited. They are forced to be adults early. Large families exemplify child abuse of the worst kind. Mothers of large families have some type of infantile, selfish need to procreate, not caring about the ramifications of their acts upon the existing family dynamic. As I have stated, large families are dysfunctional as well as pathological. I have written various articles on large families, check them out.

    • profile image

      Linda paradise 2 months ago

      I completely agree with the previous author. The duggars have all those children to satisfy JB ridiculous sexual needs ( Michelle has said that it is the wife's duty to satisfy her husband at all times) and Michelle's need to always have an infant. Do the married children following in their parents footsteps realize the show and money can't go on forever. Then how will they support their litters then?

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 4 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      I DON'T think so. People are SO TIRED of the incessant breeders.

    • profile image

      Coco 4 months ago

      Is this family making news still? Gross

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 7 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Exactly, the Duggars are indeed very selfish. Thank you for stopping by and responding.

    • profile image

      Jill Mclaughlin 7 months ago

      I agree with this article. It is sickening to see them keep popping out kids like a factory. And the sad part is that the girls that are now married are doing the same thing. Are they all going to have 20 kids apiece too? No one can properly raise that many children and it is not fair to the kids either. It's absolutely sickening to say the least. They should not be on TV glorifying this type of thing.

    • profile image

      Lina 13 months ago

      Lori, did you by chance miss the "recent" news that the oldest Duggar child molested 4 of his sisters, the youngest of which was only 5 years old at the time?

      We are finally starting to see the cracks. What can and does happen with fundamentalist "parents" of massive families. I'm not happy to be seeing the fallout (I mainly feel sorry for the girls in that family), but perhaps all these things we're learning about their oldest child will help folks realize that these people are NOT who they claim to be on tv.

    • profile image

      ruth 14 months ago

      The duggars always bad mouth small family they think that parents of small family should have more children. Duggar send me email saying that I should have more children but i can't have any more children because my dr told me that if i have any more children i could die my sisters in law are in same boat as me

    • profile image

      molly444 15 months ago

      Lori,

      You know this family is "remarkable" just from watching television??? I won't say anymore, but I think you need to use your brain! Everything on television is fictional or at the very least made to look much better than it really is.

    • profile image

      Lori 16 months ago

      This article is complete rubbish. This family is remarkable and each child is a gift. Each is unique and each is an integral part of the community. To say such thugs about them is shallow and misled. They are a real family with real problems, just like the rest of us. It is unfortunate they must live it all in front of an often vicious public public. I pray for them and ask for many blessings for each child. I have very much enjoyed watching them grow

    • profile image

      stoudtamysue@gmail.com 16 months ago

      The Duggars said that God's punishing the homosexuals down in Orlando,Florida on this past Sunday. That Isn't God's doing that's Satan's doing.God doesn't punished people he'll do that during the judgement day.I know homosexuals will not inherit the earth. Homosexuals been around been around since the beginning of time .Michelle Duggar has no room to talk she has a sister is a lesbian .Everybody has family skeletons in the closet. God will deal with the homosexuals during judgement day.God's rules Don"t change.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 16 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Yes, something is amiss with Michelle. No person in his/her right mind has NINETEEN children. Where is the logic, really now!

    • profile image

      16 months ago

      I read your commentary and it was very good. I believe that the Duggar mother definitely have a sick obsession of getting pregnant again. The Duggar mother and father is ignorant because they refused to realize that having 19 children is already enough. Both the Duggar parents should be lock up at a mental institution. The Duggar parents should be ashamed of themselves for not letting the children having fun. The most serious examples of this is that the parents never let their children trick and treat in every Halloween and lying to the children about Halloween and not letting them go to beaches. By not letting the children having fun, it make it clear that the Duggar parents love to have control over their children.

    • profile image

      16 months ago

      The Duggars parents having 19 kids made me suspect that the Duggars is definitely hiding something. The Duggars mother giving birth at a fast rate every year make it clear she is using a contraceptive pr something like that.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 17 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Excellent commentary, in utter agreement. The Duggars as average parents of large/very large families have a quite different psychology perspective than parents of small families who truly care about the welfare & future of their children. Parents of large/very large families really don't care about their children beyond giving birth.

    • profile image

      UHUH 17 months ago

      I disagree with you. I was raised by a parenst who were religious fanatics. I grew up with the same naive, idealistic, unrealistic thinking as their children are now growing up with. My sister, who was the older, opted not to have children as did the second oldest. They had already parented most of their lives, why should they want children. I think the reason that the Duggars are producing this many kids is because "God tells them to". My parents had 8 children because "Got told them to". My mother, who left my father and then became a lot more normal (it's good to be the youngest child who gets the normal mother, let me tell you!!!), only wanted 2 children. She couldn't have two children because "God said so" and my father would not "allow" it. Thankfully "God stopped at 8". This made my father rather angry which is interesting to me because this was "God's decision" so was he angry at God? Who knows. He's impossible to talk to because religion trumps all. I don't know what woke my mother up from the sick life she was living in a religious organization. I think she was just too smart to stay. "Men are rulers", "women should obey and let the man lead" "bring children into My family" (that's God speaking). It's put into your brain over and over an over. The same words are repeated until the brain forms patterns that can not be undone. Being raised by these parents has taken a toll on my life. Even though they divorced when I was young, I still got both of their "religious teachings". It was a constant submersion of "be a good person" "always do the right thing" "always do what you're told" "all people deserve forgiveness". I married a man who hit me, I forgave him over and over and prayed he would stop. That God would show him what I knew, that there was a better way. Idealism never works. Idealism is great when it is taught with realism but it very rarely is. You go to a Holocaust Museum, you should focus on the atrocities of a man destroying millions because he was on drugs and needed power. You shouldn't instantly equate with the religious aspect of abortion. It's just the idealistic conditioning over and over. I'm nwt in my 40s, have finally left my abusive husband and recently discovered that unless I deprogram, I am doomed to keep this vicious cycle going in my head. The guilt and confusion becomes unbearable. I have to "cheat" and pray so that my brain will relax. I have to repeat the words of the Bible I've heard all of my life just so I don't have anxiety attacks. My brain has been conditioned to relax when I hear those words, "seek God when you can't handle something, HE will handle it". You are not your own person. "God is in control". Once I am relaxed by these words, I can then formulate rational thoughts about what I want to do going forward and yet I still need to come back to the words to reach new levels. As a human, we seek to have control and most people make good choices and that's how they have good lives but when you grow up in religion, you are NEVER in control. "God is in control", your parents are given the "power" by God to make sure you follow. AKA they beat and drill it into you. I guess you could call it mental illness, I call it cult brainwashing. Mental illness to me is something you are born with, a part of the brain that has a physica.l chemical imbalance. I was born with a perfectly balance brain. I know this because I am capable of fighting the brain washing (at least now). I think this is more of a case of damaged parents, who are unsure of their own worth, raising kids to be damaged because they have decided to give their power over to something else instead of taking responsibility for their own actions and working through their pain. It's a copout basically. Sadly, my kids are now also damaged. I didn't figure it out in time to save them. I've convinced my daughter to try a different way with my grandson. She's not good at it because she only knows what she's grown up in, she's just not consistent enough. At my age, I could be consistent enough because I've figured it out. In the very least the boy is not being beaten into submission. I want her to work on more balance. He's a very nice boy who has never been hit. We just have to make sure he doesn't swing in the opposite direction and be thoughtless and callous. I don't know if that will work either because the truth is, I don't know how to raise mentally healthy children. I see so few of them in life. Almost everyone I know is into religion and religion and healthy children can never be synonymous. And so although I think that Duggars are severely mentally damaged, calling them mentally ill insults those who are actually mentally ill by chemical imbalace and deserve respect because they have a "disease". This is more of a case of broken people brainwashing their children by living in extremes and not being smart enough to raise their own children so they turn to a "God" to do so. After all "God is in control"! You are excused from all wrong doing because you are a mere mortal. Now forgive yourself and forgive others, wash, rinse, repeat.

    • profile image

      Ripsimeh 22 months ago

      I am a professional teacher. I have been in the public educational system 20 years. Unfortunately it isn't just the Dugger family that expect children to raise children. I've seen people with 2 and 3 children have nothing to do with them. Where I worked we used to have meetings describing how our students lives were like outside of school. Almost all were latch key and had no supervision at all. Many parents were almost never home. I think it is important for all parents to decide if they want children that they will be there for them otherwise I think they shouldn't have any. Wow!! 19 children. How does this woman keep her private parts. I think many women would have had a prolapsed uterus long time ago. They really have 3 million dollars? Is this monthly or what. What is the frequency of their salary? Well if they are abusing the children someone phone child protective agency where they live. I don't know about the state where they live but in mine. Abusive parents get jail time and the children taken away

    • Farawaytree profile image

      Michelle Zunter 2 years ago from California

      Great hub! I think we saw some of the dysfunction come out in the media this summer didn't we? Spot on!

    • profile image

      dmartin 2 years ago

      I am sick of every time I turn on the internet there are the duggers. Why are there faces still smeared all over the place. Hearing that they only have like 3 million dollars and there in poverty, that they are trying to have another baby, they are starting a new reality show is revolting. Haven't we had enough of these people. They need to support the son in the help he needs and quit trying to produce more. Explain to the daughter she doesn't need to keep raising money and go to third world countries to learn spanish we have lots of people in this country she can learn from, and they all need to get jobs and a life. People quit falling for the garbage they are dishing out. I feel stupider every time I see one of there names.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      I have stated that large/very large families are dysfunctional, even pathological.

    • Amanda Roddy profile image

      Amanda Roddy 2 years ago

      The 'sin in the camp' story had been rumor or years. when I stopped being a fan, I still dismissed it. Now, the cat is out of the bag. The story goes Oprah was going to have them on an episode and someone tipped them off. One should figure Oprah wouldn't cancel an episode based on some gossip. She has money an connections.At the least, I think she was gong to ask them about it. Then, a commenter named'Alice' told the story how Oprah wined and dined them in Chicago before she got the tip,but it was never proven.

      Anyhow, Josh should have been removed from that home. The though of them having to live with him and act as though everything is ok turns my stomach. Now, the original record has been destroyed. It makes me concerned for the Bates kids as well. Who knows what goes on there?. I wonder how common incest is in bigger families. If Gil and Kelly Bates had any sense they would take their kids off tv. Minor kids get paid nothing on reality tv in most states. Only a handful of states pay them as actors. This case is sad and I feel it won't be forgotten for a long time. I think for sure it has waken many fans up. P.S.It was Derick who tried to run over a cat.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW. I think you or another person has stated that before. I read the news yesterday. Large/very large families are PATHOLOGICAL in more ways than one. More news is YET to come.........and people have the unmitigated gall, nerve to say that small families raise spoiled, selfish children. While large/very large families raise delinquents, hoodlums, children w/no self-esteem, teen mothers, and other negative types. Children in large/very large families are very insular and parochial in outlook. Large/very large families are also dysfunctional in addition to being pathological. I bet that there is INCEST in that family also. Yes, it has HIT and more dark secrets are going to be revealed!!!!!

    • Askme profile image

      Pritchard 2 years ago

      Oh my GM the $#** has hit the fan! Duggars older son accused of child molesting! Your title for this Hub was prophetic. We are just beginning to find out the depth of this family's dysfunction.

    • profile image

      BW 2 years ago

      What gets me is the hypocrisy and the double standards. The first season they dressed in hideous clothing, claimed they had no Internet or TV.

      As they evolve you notice they have MACBOOK PROS, dressing in more stylish clothing, their hair is styled and they even wear makeup lol. They're making millions of dollars but try to portray that they're frugal and buy everything 'second hand'. And OMG they can't hold hands until they're officially 'engaged'? They can only have 'side hugs'??? I'm sure they're dencent Christian folk, but I just find some of their ways disgusting, unpractical and shocking at times.

      They're in it for the money. They're writing books now? What kind of advice could these little girls possibly give? How to play house? How abstainence is the path we should take? As annoying as they Are, I wish them well!

    • profile image

      triangles 2 years ago

      I am familiar with the Quiverful, Pearl, Gothard, etc. methods which the Duggar parents advocate. I find it all alien and in many ways abusive. But, I am also a professional astrologer and have been for the past thirty years, so I decided to take a quick look at the natal charts of some of the Duggar children to see if there are any aspects or patterns which would confirm my suspicions and the suspicions of many on this thread. I will begin by affirming there is trouble in paradise at the Duggar home.

      One aspect that nearly all of the kids have is a Sun/Saturn and or Mars/Saturn. The sun represents the father, mars represents action and courage, and saturn represents restrictions, burdens, and responsibilities. In negative aspects (which is what they have), children feel fear and lack self esteem. Mars/ saturn aspect are frequent in children who have suffered emotional and physical abuse. Which children have Sun/Saturn or Mars/Saturn? Jana, John David, Joshua, Jason, Jordyn, Jackson, Jennifer, Jessa, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, James, and Jason.

      In addition there are strong signs of anger in many of the charts. These kids may not be allowed to express it now, but one day it will come out. Who has major anger issues? Joseph, Joshua, Jason, Justin, Jordyn, Josiah, James, Jason, Jackson. Jordyn has a very difficult chart in terms of repression and anger, and I worry about her the most.

      At least half of the children have difficult Venus/Saturn aspects which indicate a lack of warmth and nurturing.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Askme, well said. Parents of large families CAN'T devote the prerequisite attention to their children. That is simple mathematics. There are MORE children to go around and someone HAS to suffer which are usually the older children while the younger children receive THE MOST. That is why children from large families have serious issues including Madonna, the late Michael Jackson, and Mark Wahlberg. All had issues because they did not receive enough attention as children.

    • Askme profile image

      Pritchard 2 years ago

      THEY ARE ROBOTS. Devoid of emotion and empathy, similar to people with Asperger's. Recent controversy is one of the Duggar kids kicking a cat and laughing hysterically about it.

      I highly disagree Alicia about "less problems in the World" if there were more people like the Duggars! I think the more mindless breeding, the more problems due to not enough adults to provide direction and emotional nurturing of their children!

    • profile image

      Alicia Mc Cormack 2 years ago

      I think the Duggars are the most happy and well adjusted family I have ever seen! I wish I was one of those lucky kids. They are respectful, theyhave manners, they are loving and kind. If more families were like them we would have alot less problems in the world!

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Holly, you are correct in your assessment of the Duggar "parents". They care nothing at all about their children. Their children are indeed brainwashed and they are going to suffer unless they see what their "parents" are doing to them. However, it is highly improbable that these children will break away from their conditioning.

    • profile image

      Holly D 2 years ago

      I agree with this article...the family is selfish & disgusting & in our world of over population they just need to stop. And, their beautiful kids are going to be a total brainwashed genetic contribution to our human race. They are disgusting.

    • profile image

      amroddy@netzero.com 2 years ago

      LR@You are making a logical fallacy-in other words a strawman.

      good bar@Two of the daughters married this year.

    • profile image

      good bar 2 years ago

      I can wait to see when these older two girl finally get in bed already

    • profile image

      LR 2 years ago

      @Amanda-If women rape men in tight jeans, shorts, vests with no shirt underneath, and muscle shirts, men will rape them back in self-defense because they are physically stronger and bigger which makes them able to fight back. We should be aware of that. And we do slut shame women for raping men. It's dangerous for women to try to rape men because they will rape back.

      Other than that men who dress provocatively to attract women are asking for trouble and then they fight back, rape, kill, or even kidnap women in self-defense as if they are predatory gigolos. A female who blames a male for wearing booty shorts and other manly provocative clothing, then there are issues with her as to why she was raped back in self defense. And men hate to be objectified by women because it hurts their masculinity. Female on male rape is dangerous and therefore emasculates men, causing them to be violent. Check out the comments on this blog about female on male rape: http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2012/07/movies-magic...

    • profile image

      Canadian 2 years ago

      Everyone says that the family doesn't rely on government assistance..... but doesn't the american family subsudize something for child/baby bonus like they do in canada it might only be a small amount but it's something.....and times that by 19+ thats a good chunk of change. There was someone saying Jim bob is work 3.5 million ws that before or after the show??? You never see what happens behind the cameras only what they edit, so whos to say this family is ohh so happy?? I can guarentee theres stuff they dont want you to see which would be sure to 'ruin' the picture perfect family. They need to stop having kids, can michelle even feel sex anymore? Im sure her vagina is a revolving door and most likely loose. But i guess it's fine for Jim bob that creepy pediphile looking man.....wouldn't it be crazy if it turned out he was a child molester just like the dad on 7th heaven ???

    • profile image

      Canadian 2 years ago

      I Think this family is crazy

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Amanda, as I have reiterated endlessly-LARGE FAMILIES ARE PATHOLOGICAL! Need I say MORE!

    • Amanda Roddy profile image

      Amanda Roddy 2 years ago

      Author Paul Hunter one of 21 kids, recently criticized the Duggars. He says his mom spent more time at a homeless shelter than with them and some of the older kids dont speak to the mom. In fact, his mom said to call her E and not mom. His dad did nothing bu work.

      Also, we should be careful commenting only on how women dress. Men do the same thing with tight jeans, shorts, and muscle shirts. Look in third world countries where women still get raped fully clothed. Slut shaming is why some sexual abuse victims never come forward. Everyone should be responsible for their own eyes. When a male blames a female for wearing booty shorts , then there are issues with him.

    • profile image

      donna 2 years ago

      Do any of you know Jim-Bob's net worth? It's 3.5 MILLION!

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Lissa, of course the older children have NO normative childhood/adolescence. Not only the Duggars but typical oldest children in large /very large families spend their childhoods/adolescence raising younger siblings. Oldest children in such families become weary physically, emotionally,and psychologically quite early in life. They are akin to slaves/forced laborers. Prisoners of war have easier lives than the typical oldest child/older children in large/very large families. Parents of large/very large families are selfish, thoughtless, and careless pure and simple.

    • Lissa Clason profile image

      Lissa Clason 2 years ago from Fayetteville, North Carolina

      I feel bad for those kids. Having time with your parents is very important, and they don't get to experience that. The older kids especially don't have a normal childhood, because they always have to watch the little ones. There's so much stress on them, and they shouldn't have to deal with that much responsibility at a young age. If they have more children, that means even more divisions of time and income to support each child, so each child will be more deprived of the things they need. It's unfair to the kids they already have, so they shouldn't have anymore. Also, the courting thing is really creepy D:

    • profile image

      mellowde 2 years ago

      This quiverful stuff, isn't that what the chinese practice? And isn't that why there are so many in China that they have been behind the 8 ball so to speak for 25 centuries? Living in a house that looks like a barn in order to house and feed the large clan will have the effect of causing the children to leave like there's a plague at some point. The floodgate once opened will give the impetus for the children to flee. How many more marriages will occur in the next year or 2? And just to get out of the dysfunctional zoo? What goes around comes around. You use your children for self-agrandisement and it come back to haunt. The show will be 2 left and counting as the Duggars contemplate divorce and sale of community property so it can be divided between JimBobBoy and Michelle. Now that is a show all will watch.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Not only the "Quiverfull" families but such behavior occurs in typical large families. Corporal and other forms of harsh punishments are commonplace in large families. Parents are often emotionally and mentally overwhelmed in large families with the large amount of children in the household so they routinely resort to physical discipline to chastise children. Parents seldom talk to chilldren in large families so the only form of discipline is often corporal.

      Large families cause more undue stress upon the parents as there are more children than they can emotionally/mentally interface with properly. The larger the family, the harsher the punishments because of the high level of stress. Again, THAT is why small families are better overall-LESS STRESS for the parents and MORE time to interact with their children.

    • Amanda Roddy profile image

      Amanda Roddy 3 years ago

      It seems Quivefull keeps coming apart at the seams. First, Bill Gothard, Doug Phillips and now the Jeubs. The Jeubs were on a TLC special"Cheaper by the Dozen". Two of the oldest daughters(actually Wendy's) had lready left, but now two more older daughters have accused Wendy and Chris Jeub of abuse. Cynhtia Jeub describes the events on her blog, CynthiaJeub.com. They played the happy family in public. She said once Wendyhit her then 11 yr old brother so hard he had to wear make-up.It makes me concerned for the Duggars and Bates. I really cant picture them doing that to their kids, but you never know.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Jan, children in large families DO lead hellish lives, especially the oldest/older children. They are conscripted slaves who must be on 24/7/365. Prisoners in gulags and forced labor camps have it better than oldest/older children in large families. Jan, I have written several hubs on oldest children in large/very large families, check them out. Such hubs describe your situation succinctly well.

      I remember as a child, some of my friends from large families were always out and about. One of them called me to go out, I said no. She asked me why was I ALWAYS at home, well I was an only child and had no intrusive siblings, had space, and lots of privacy so there was NO need for me to ESCAPE. Many oldest/older children HATE being in large families because they are unpaid slaves. No child should have to endure this-all because of selfish, thoughtless parents who are too lazy to use contraceptives! Parents who have large families are mentally ill and in need of good psychiatric help for they are having children because of an unfulfilled need and void in their lives which could be used more constructively than to continuing pop out children ad infinitum!

    • profile image

      JAN 3 years ago

      I agree that children in large families do not get enough parental attention. I am the third oldes of 8 - and I was a helper non-stop. I resented the endless messes my younger siblings made - and would beg my friends to have me visit their homes. My sister and I washed dishes for ten people every night. I am not saying my mom did not work hard also - but it really sucked to have to work so hard at an early age (10-18).

      ALSO - no one has mentioned that there is a population explosion world-wide and these dummies claim there is not crisis. The planet is having a hard time sustaining the food supply and sanitation necessary - and they just keep popping out children.

      I really think these people ARE mentally ill!!!

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @greeneyedblondie, this is what happens in families where there are 6 or children per household. The parents DON'T raise the children at all-not one iota. It is ALWAYS the oldest and/or older children who raise the younger siblings thus missing out on their childhoods/adolescent years. Many oldest children of large families DON'T have a life of their own nor individual time. They have to be there for parents and siblings 24/7/365. They are simply unpaid slaves. Slave laborers have more freedom than oldest children in large families.

      That is a fact of life. Children from large families have very little or no parental interaction. Parents of large families are only parents in the physical sense of the word and in name only. That is they just reproduce and after the birth of the child, give the child to the oldest/older children to raise. Oldest children in large families are THE REAL parents in the family. That is why children in large families are attention starved. They receive little/no parental attention so they oftentimes have issues when they become adults. Many are not good parents because they did not have the proper parenting in their formative years. They have an arrested development as far as parenting goes. They make perfunctory parents because that was the way they were raised.

      Children in large families also have no sense of self and no sense of privacy. They were taught that they, as individuals, are of no consequence and that the group is more imporant than the individual. They are told that to be an individual is akin to being selfish so having a sense of self is taboo and forbidden in large families. If you have ever observed a child from a large family, he/she has low high esteem and is self-abneging. They have nothing that they can call their own and no individual space. It is common for children in large families to live on top of each other and in the open. Privacy is a foreign word in the large family environment.

      Children in large families simply aren't raised in normal environments like children in small families are. They have to raise themselves and/or each other from an early age as the parents AREN'T there for them. They also have to work from childhood to get the things that normal chlldren have. They have poor or no health, medical, and/or dental care. If it weren't for school doctors and nurses, children from large families wouldn't receive any type of medical care at all. They consume inferior quality food as more nutritious food is cost prohitive to the average large family. Children in large families learn to DO without VERY EARLY and it is a constant condition in the large family environment. That is why children in large families develop a poverty mindset, psychology, and consciousness because SOCIOECONOMIC WANT and POVERTY is a normative lifestyle in large families. They also wear inferior and cast off clothing.

      In large families, socioeconomic depression is not just a economic slump but every day life in large families. Most large families are either poor to impoverished with children have only the rudiments if they are lucky. The average large family receives some type of aid in order to stay socioeconomically afloat. Parents who have large families are thoughtless and unconcerned regarding the welfare of their children. Small families are better for the children in terms of parental time, attention, and in socioeconomic opportunies. I wrote the article on the Duggars to demonstrate the detriments of large family life. The Duggars were simply prototype of the quintessential parent of large families.

    • profile image

      greeneyedblondie 3 years ago

      I love the idea for big families, but 19 (and 20) can seem like a bit much--especially if it's all the older children doing the raising. I HATE that idea. I want to have a big family myself someday but I really hate it when the oldest(s) are "mommy's and daddy's little helpers." Why can't the rest of them be "helpers?" Why can't they all be children? The religious aspect always creeped me out. With that big of a family religion can become like a cult.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      AMEN, Amanda, a RESOUNDING AMEN. You see large families have a quite different psychology than small families. You are right in saying that the kids "don't care" about 75 cents shirts; however, they DO care when other children wear more expensive, better quality clothing. These are the kids who shake down more affluent children for money and cut their clothes because they have inferior quality clothing. Children in large families are inculcated to believe that they are less, personae non gratae, and oftentimes have the lowest of imaginable self-esteem. They believe that to have any sense of self is selfish hence EVIL. Parents of large families are doing their children a .........GREAT DISSERVICE!

    • Amanda Roddy profile image

      Amanda Roddy 3 years ago

      I just read a post titles"Why Have More Kids" obviously by a Quiverfull follower. They have 6 and expecting 7. The mom got a comment saying if you are tired why do you keep having kids. Then she talks about how they are gifts from God and so forth.You can tell the judgment in her comments and supporters. I left a comment saying you don't love kids. you just like having them. She seems ot understand a couple may be infertile but she really comes down on those who limit family size on purpose. Sure, the kids may not care about 75 cent shirts from thrift stores. It is because of the poverty mindset instilled in them and they feel unworthy of anything better. Now, I don't think there is anything wrong with used clothing, but kids need to feel like they are individuals worthy of a new outfit occasionally . It isn't their fault the parents had too many kids. I really feel bad for these kids. They are treated like trophies in Quiverfull..

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Not only selfish but unthinking and evil. There is no positive way to describe parents who reproduce ad infinitum. Such "parents" are evil and unthinking in addition to being egotistical. They want to make THEIR MARK in society; however, having a lot of children does not equal strength but impoverishment. It is utterly futile to have a large family as you and your children are reduced to socioeconomic poverty hence powerlessness. There is NO power en masse but there is POWER in economic wealth. It is those with money who has the ultimate power. Sad, that so many fail to realize this. Oh well.......

    • Askme profile image

      Pritchard 3 years ago

      Selfish? Yes I think so VJGSA

    • VJGSA profile image

      VJG 3 years ago from Texas

      The mother has said that the older kids help raise the younger kids. My wife says that's not fair to the older kids and the younger kids don't have mom and dad as their parental figures. Could having 19 kids be considered selfish?

    • profile image

      carrol 3 years ago

      the devil is sure incharge of these horny horny horny freaks.get them all fixed

    • profile image

      LR. 3 years ago

      @Angye-What do you think of boys giving their penises to everyone and getting naked and flexing their muscles in front of cameras drunk and not having friends with benefits? Sure there are lots of males who do that that old-fashioned males hate it and think it's not gentlemanly for boys to give their penises to anyone, get naked, and flex their muscles like male hookers and male strippers. To them, any male like that has no class when he flaunts his half-naked to naked body to women, especially married women who have husbands who could kill these men.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Askme, Amy's idiotic rant is typical large family thinking. I have deleted her post as it is too unintelligent for words. Large-very large families teach their daughters to be forced laborers and that they are subordinate to male authority. It teaches sons that women are inferior objects to be done with as they will. It also teaches sons not to respect women i.e. the Kennedy brothers believed that they were superior to women and saw women as nothing but vessels. Children in large-very large families have a POOR sense of self as they are inculcated in the premise that self-love and self-assertion are SELFISH and EVIL. No, contrary to the idiotic philosophy that children from large-very large families are independent, children from such families tend to be act and think in packs. They are uncomfortable being alone and will be/marry anyone to avoid being alone. That is so sad, Askme. I LOVE being alone. It is sad to grow up anonymous and in a crowd. Thank you for stopping by Askme, you are ALWAYS welcome. The average person from a large-very large family is an anonymous cog, not an individual!

    • Askme profile image

      Pritchard 3 years ago

      Proving GM's point again Amy! Such anger and nastiness.

      And Amy, regardless of what you think having " 19 and counting" kids is not anyway to raise children who are confident, independent and self-sufficient. especially with the intrusive eye of the camera on you at all times. My guess is one of these kids would freak out if they found them self all alone one day. They have no clue about who they are, how to be an independent strong person. It all about MOB thinking and never asserting yourself! Sad, very sad.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Nancy, I want to add that people who willingly have large-very large families rate low on the intelligence quotient. They are also selfish and abhorrent parents who only care about what THEY want, they really don't give a good rat's ------about their children's well-being and future. They are condemning their children to impoverishment throughout life and fifth best. In essence, children from large-very large families will experience only CRAP in life.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      I used the Duggars as a prototype for large-very large families. Large-very large families are indeed pathological, if not abhorrent.

    • NancyJarrett profile image

      NancyJarrett 3 years ago from Lompoc, California

      I agree with your opinion about large/very large families. I see how you all come to this conclusion.

      I would like to know why you all seem to only pick out the Duggar's? I am sure there are other families out there that have just as many children, if not more.

      The record holder for having one mother giving birth to 69 children.

      Years ago large families were needed to work fields and ranches. I am sure there are a lot of people in the south that still have large/very large families. My step-father came from a family of 14 kids. They lived in a small house in Tennessee.

      My step-father only had a third grade education. He had to go to work to help support the family. He also told us, that incest was away of life in his family.

      We have a little thing called birth control and abortions. There is no reason to have that many children.

      I just don't understand why the Duggar name is even mentioned in these post.

      Yes, they chose to put their family on display for the world to see. That in it's self makes them a target. However, if this is just a forum on large/very large families then lets leave their name out of it.

      Reality shows on television are anything but real life. As far as i am concerned, they can take all the reality shows off and put Carol Burnett back on.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Nancy, in the typical large-very large family(6 or more kids per family), girls are inculcated to be wives and mothers from childhood. Education is not stressed so much for girls of large-very large families as it is thought that they are going to get married anyway. In large-very large families, sons are more important than daughters. Girls in large-very large families are taught to be subordinate to the males in the household. In large-very large families, everything is strictly hierarchical. There is very differential treatment in large-very large families-oldest/older children are waylaided/cast aside, middle children are lost in the shuffle, and the youngest/younger children are pampered and indulged. Daughers, esp. oldest/older daughters, in large-very large families are slaves on call 24/7/365.

      While your small family Nancy was an exception. Life in small families is beautiful and idyllic where children are loved, given the utmost attention, opportunities, and amenities. Parents love and care for their children in small families, they RAISE the children, not push them off on the oldest/older child to raise. Daughters in small families(1-2 children per family) are treated as individuals and are expected to be educated and successful. Daughters in such families are treated equal to sons in the typical small family. Large-very large families are HELL, prisoners live better than children in the large-very large family.

    • Amanda Roddy profile image

      Amanda Roddy 3 years ago

      Angye@The DUggars look all nice on TV. These young women do more than help.As far as 'giving away vaginas' that is extreme black and white think. They are just as obsessed about sex as those who sleep around. Jim Bob dry humps Michelle on a gofl course in front of their kids who cant hold hands Jim Bob asked Michelle does this turn your on? Another time they were making out telling the unmarried couple Jessa and Ben you cant do this yet. The Duggars act so proud of themselves it is worse than 'giving away vaginas'.

      NancyJarret I am sorry for you situation but it doesnt justify the Duggars.Larger families for some reason have always been associated with higher moral values. That is not the case when I read about those who grew up like the Duggars.

    • NancyJarrett profile image

      NancyJarrett 3 years ago from Lompoc, California

      I agree with you in part. I can't remember my father because he was absent in my life. My mother was not functioning do to her alcohol use and prescription drug use.

      From the time I was nine, I was running the house, laundry, dished, vacuuming and so on. I was also taking care if my mother. I didn't have a normal childhood. My childhood stopped at age nine with the struggle to hide my mothers condition from everyone. I couldn't have friends over to our house. However, my brother did have a childhood. He went to his friends house instead of having them over.

      I forgot to mention in my first post, that my father had three other daughters by two other wives. My mother was the only one to give my father a son he so deeply wanted.

      Dysfunction is born from the dynamics of the parents. The way children are treated within that family. As I pointed out in my first post, the society of my family placed more value on sons then daughters.

      I was just wondering if this form of thinking still holds true in large families? When I watch the Duggar family, I see the females as only future wives and homemakers and also to make babies.

      Their mother seems to be glad that her older daughter is to marry and is looking forward to new grand babies with and almost sick joy.

      Perhaps since my father had six children even though we never all lived together, the large family dynamics were an underline issues.

      In closing, my mother would have had more children but she and any future children were at high risk. You see, she was RH negative and my father was RH positive.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Nancy, you're wrong! If your family was large-very large(6 0r more kids) your situation would be more dire. You would be RAISING your younger siblings in addition to taking care of your mother. You would not have a life at all. You would have never married but used for the benefit of your mother and then your younger siblings. Your life would not be your own at all. Your situation although bad isn't as bad as most. The average child in a large-very large family grow up impoverished and parents DON'T give him/her the prerequisite parental attention. These children raise themselves and each other due to the parents' endless reproduction, thinking of THEIR needs, not the children's. At least you did not go hungry and had the amenities and your father was there. In large-very large families, parents AREN'T there for the children, they had to struggle even for the rudiments. Be grateful for what you had-you had a father although your mother was an alcoholic, she was intelligent and responsible enough to have a small family.

    • NancyJarrett profile image

      NancyJarrett 3 years ago from Lompoc, California

      I have spent most of my evening reading the pros and cons about small families vs large ones.

      I was born in 1954 in California. The society was very different in those days compared to today.

      I have one older brother. We are 15 months a part. In those days women stayed home and raised the children, cleaned house, did errand, and made all the meals. Son's were treated differently than daughter's.

      My mother was a den mother for the boy scouts and a brownie leader. She was also the PTA President.

      My father worked in Glendale, commuting daily to his job.

      We had nice three bedroom house in Anaheim. All the food we could eat, nice clothes and shoes. We didn't want for anything. Here is where the story takes a nice twist.

      On the outside to friends and family we looked and acted like the perfect upper middle class family. Once you pull the curtain is pulled back, you saw a mother and father giving all the love and attention to the son, because in these times, male children were thought more highly of then daughters.

      I can't help thinking this form of thinking, still goes on today. I see it in the Duggar family. Male children are seen as manual hard labors where as the girls are treated as homemakers, babysitters for the younger siblings. However, form of thinking applies to families with one to two children when there is one of each sexes in the family dynamics. At least it was in my family.

      If you go by todays definition of abuse, my brother and I would have been taken away from my parents. My father, although he lived with us was absent most of the time do to his long commute to work.

      My mother was a closet alcoholic and prescription drug abuser. At the age of nine it was my duty to take care of the house and my mother. When my father died three years later, my mother took to her bed for four months. My brother paid all the bills (my mother had him put onto her checking account) it was up to him to make sure he and I ate. In the year of 1967 fast food was just starting to come into fashion.

      We were not allowed to talk to uncles, aunts, cousins, or grandparents about what was happening in our home. There really were no child abuse laws like we have today. Neither my brother or I would have contacted the police, children just didn't do that. There was one time I told my grandfather, between my brother and my mother I was properly punished and told never to speak of what was really going on in our house. I was dubbed a liar within my extended family.

      Of course no one would ever think my mother would neglect her children during her time of grief.

      My brother and I have not seen or spoken to each other for over 30 years.

      He got married in 1970 and moved far away.

      I got married in 1971 and moved far away.

      I took care of my mother till the day she died.

      My family was, if not more dysfunctional as a large family. When my father past away, my family died with him.

    • profile image

      Angye 3 years ago

      OMG !! I just read this and Im totally surprise. What is that thing about having nannies raising or helping ?? I guess is kind a duty if Im the older to help the youngest. Honestly I dont see whats wrong with this family, the kids are well dressed, feed and educated. I remember when Michelle used to buy clothes in second hand stores and is perfectly fine. Im european, well educated as well as my husband and we dont believe in nannies or any other help. I have a career and I gave up in order to raise my kids. That was my believe and not release my duties to an stranger. I dont have mental traumas and in fact I was the only child with a silver spoon when I born. I have 4 boys and are well educated and I raised to be a gentleman. I can do everything and I teach them that..from cooking to build a wall or teach my knowledge in medicine. I found the Douggars well educated and even I dont believe in their religion I found that they dont hurt anybody. If TL paid them, fantastic!!!!!!!!! Bravo ...at least I dont have a bunch of red necks living on my taxes..and believe me I have a lotttttttttt in NY. So please dont pretend that everybody around is sick because they decide to have a large family that dad supports. BTW those girls are fantastic and they dont have "friends with benefits" which the only benefit is giving their vagina to everybody and getting naked in front of cameras or totally drunk. Sorry Im an old fashion woman

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Amanda, thank you again for stopping by as you are always welcome to do so. The "life" of children in large-very large families is full of socioeconomic struggle, even being impoverished. Children live at the MOST basic existence with very little food, inferior clothing, no health/medical/dental care, living on top of each other-living in the open, having very little adult guidance.

      There was a study by Zajonc, a psychologist, indicating that children in large-very large families are intellectually undeveloped and immature because all they have to communicate with are OTHER siblings. They raise themselves(that goes without saying) or each other. It's a very primitive existence at best. Children from large-very large families look like orphans-malnourished, wearing clothing that no one else would wear, etc.

      Well, the "life" of children in large-very large families can be described as........HELL. You have elucidated the point so succinctly! Homeless people in shelters live better than the average child in a large-very large family!

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Amanda, you are talking to a brick wall. That woman is typical of a parent of a large-very large family. They believe in reproducing children ad infinitum, not caring about the ramifications of this act on their children. Parents of large-very large families really don't care if their children have a socioeconomic affluent lifestyle. It is typical for parents of large-very large families to live from hand to elbow. Amanda, the average large-very large family is from poor to very impoverished. Again, I sincerely doubt that the woman in question has a doctorate degree because no one with a doctorate degree has the lacksadaisical attitude that she has toward family planning. Her thinking is more in line with a person with little education.

      You are right as usual Amanda. Children need things beyond the rudiments. They need beauty, culture, and luxury. However, children in large-very large families DON'T have beauty, culture, and luxury. They are lucky to have the bare rudiments, if that. They live an existence which one can describe as very primitive, even prisoners live better than children from large-very large families.

      Of course, children from large-very large families DON'T get individualized parental time. That is why they have attention issues and look for attention in all the wrong places. Most of the children who join gangs are from large-very large families because they did not receive the prerequisite attention from their parents. Many children from large- very large families are prey to the some of the more negative types of people because they did not receive the prerequisites at home. There are girls from large-very large families become teen mothers because they feel for the first male who gave them attention. Large-very large families are aberrant and any parent who elects to have such families need psychiatric counselling for they are not mentally sound.

    • Amanda Roddy profile image

      Amanda Roddy 3 years ago

      Czette@No money isnt everything, but it doesnt mean to throw away all logic about having kids.Kids deserve roofs over their head and full bellies each night They need to experience culture.

      There is no way 19 kids get one on one with parents. I recall in early episodes they had a sign up sheet on the frig if the kids wanted one on one time.Michelle doesnt even homeshcool anymore. I really cant see how they spend more time with each kids than parents who work. Furthermore, the kids do not have choices. I fail to see 21 people all wanting to follow the courtship rules, females all wanting to wear skirts and so forth.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Askme, the woman does not have a Doctorate from Princeton. Seriously doubt it! No one has an advanced degree and does not understand simple grammar, c'mon now. That and OTHER things! Then she indicated that money isn't important. Yes, IT IS. To reiterate, large-very large families have a poverty consciousness which is the result of growing up in LACK! SAD, isn't it. Well, ALL kinds, ALL KINDS!

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Askme, I refuse to respond to Cozette as she is the quintessential parent of a large family(I shall not go into details but the point is aptly illustrated in her response) is critical of parents in small families who plan for their children's future. So what if the parents have nannies for the children. Parents of large families have NANNIES also-they are called OLDEST/OLDER children who are forced to parent their younger siblings while the parents aimlessly and mindlessly reproduce. What a hypocrite statement. At least nannies are adults while the oldest/older siblings are children themselves.

      Askme, I seriously doubt that she has a Ph.D. A child in late elementary school knows the difference between there and their. This is simple grammar. As I have stated before, it is the lesser educated parent who has large-very large families because they do not or will not realize the benefits of family planning. It is also the less intelligent parent who apt for large-very large families, knowing the detriments physically, emotionally, psychologically, mentally, and especially socioeconomically if having a large number of children.

      Askme, parents of large-very large families have a vastly different mentality and psychology from the rest of intelligent, educated, and normal people. No use in beating a dead horse. A "Doctorate" from "Princeton"? Oh, please, no one can have a Ph.D. from Princeton and be this clueless, really now. Nice talking to you again Askme. You are always welcome to come by..

    • Askme profile image

      Pritchard 3 years ago

      Cozette Doctorate degree? "There" as in "over there" and Their as in "their beliefs. You don't seem to understand the difference.

      I think you are asking how we would feel having our lifestyle judged? For starters my lifestyle has not been put out there for all to see. I am not opening myself up for the World to watch, evaluate and yes judge my lifestyle whereas the Duggars are.

      We live is a free speech society. If you put your life on TV for all the World to see, then you can expect others to voice their opinions. You have to take the good with the bad. If the Duggars don't like being criticized, then go back to your private life and shun the TV, promotions, and publicity.

      LR: yes I agree. These kids are getting married before they have fully developed as people. They have no idea about who they are, what the like, what they believe. With the younger brothers chaperoning the engaged couple, the couple has no privacy to talk freely about how they want to live their lives, intimate details that only a couple should discuss and know about each other--can't happen with the intrusive little eyes of a younger sibling watching.

      Think about this: how much do you trust your children to be mature enough to get married if you don't trust them to be alone with their engaged???

    • Amanda Roddy profile image

      Amanda Roddy 3 years ago

      Did anyone catch the time a couple of seasons or so ago the camera crew asked the kids who wanted a small family and not a peep?

      Jill seems to be happy playing house and with Quiverfull. But what happens 3-4 kids later and it's not so rosy anymore and she changes her mind about the whole babies are blessings thing? I think that happened to Anna.

      It is ashamed these young people cant avoid pregnancy the first time getting intimate and on a honeymoon. Of course, the die hard fans see it a good thing. I had hope for Derick, but that dwindled. I actually believed Derick would put his foot down on the whole Quiverfull thing.Obviously the Duggars have reeled him in too. Parents should stay out of their kids' reproductive lives. They shouldn't have to make vows of leaving kids to God in their ceremony. Where is this in the Bible? Some are trying to pinpoint when Jill got pregnant. I 95% doubt she was pregnant before the honeymoon. It annoys the fans, but if it were a Gosselin, they would be doing the same.

    • profile image

      LR 3 years ago

      @Askme-Don't you think it sounds like the Duggars are marrying off their daughters/sisters to boys in their church/religion only? I mean, they intervene too much in their relationships and not let them enjoy. It's typical of fundamentalist religious people.

    • profile image

      cozette 3 years ago

      What is wrong with you? Why do you have so much hatred? You COMPLETELY missed the point on why they do this. There views on life state money should not be the MEANING to life, but instead love and spending time together as a family. Money is temporary, love is forever & something you will always have with you for eternity! Your post is filled with so much ignorance, I would like to judge you on the life style you mainly support;

      I can't believe you ship your kids to school for 9 hours a day, then keep them at daycare until 6, where you then pick them up at spend 2 hours with them before bedtime. Your kids are obviously not getting enough time with their PARENTS. Parents are the PRIMARY CAREGIVER. Children learn most of what they know off there parents. But here you are, sticking them with different people each day, knowing very little about what they're actually doing. What are kids for? They're to raise, protect and love. What are you doing? Sticking them with nannies, because oh "I can afford it" while in the mean time you spend insignificant amount of time with your kids and yet somehow wonder why they're 16 going out and having sex, drinking alcohol and experimenting with drugs.

      How did someone judging your lifestyle feel? The Duggar family spends all day together homeschooling and spending quality time with each other. They're with each other every day all day, believe it, they spend more than enough time together! What they do is they're choice and growing up in a big family teaches you so many valuable lessons! I don't see who they are hurting. The children are free to make whatever choices they please when they are old enough. You act like money is everything, where actually, money is just an excesory. Not the primary meaning of life! My oldest boy is studying law and my oldest daughter is a midwife, we are very educated and my life decision is the greatest gift I could have every asked for. We live comfortably and all of my older children each have their own bedroom. Friend, you must learn how to not critique and judge things you do not understand! I will pray for you.

      -Cozette, homeschooling mother of 10, between 3-23, private piano teacher in the evenings & Doctorate degree in music education from Princeton University.

      God Bless!

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Askme and Colleen, as I have stated time and time again, parents of large-very large families clearly DON'T care about their children. All they care about is reproducing children and handing off to their oldest/older child/children to raise. Parents of large-very large families are extremely narcissistic and have mental issues, sometimes bordering on the psychotic. They just thoughtlessly have children without thinking about how to care for them emotionally, psychologically, and especially financially. Large families are more like to be in the lower socioeconomic strata than small families. It is not uncommon for large families to be poor, even impoverished.

      I have written several articles on large families and its detriments. Children from large families LACK. They have an inferior quality of life in terms of parental care/attention, intellectual stimulation, poor nutrition/health/dental care, and poor living conditions. They do not have the things that normal children have. Many large families have to depend upon charities, donations, and have outside assistance to stay socioeconomically afloat. Children from large families lead a tough, primitive, hardscrabble life.

      Parents of large-very large families do not love their children like parents of small families who are loving, caring, and attentive parents who care about their children's wellbeing physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, and socioeconomically. The average parent of a large-very large families have quite a lacksadaisical attitude toward their children, if their children success, fine and if they fail, so what.

      Many parents of large-very large families view their children as mealtickets because they are unable to take care of their children. They figure that the more children, the more income. They even take their children out of school and make them work in order to supplement meager parental income. The average parents of large-very large families are very callous towards their children. There is no warm feeling between parent and child like there is in the small family. That is why so many grown children from large-very large families are attention deprived and emotionally needy. They did not receive enough love and attention from their parents.

      It is also typical for children from large families to raise themselves as their parents sure as heck are seldom, if ever, there for them. It is a very precarious existence being in a large-very large family. The ninth circle of hell is preferable than being in large-very large families. The Duggars are only a prototype of the typical, uncaring parents of large-very large families.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Askme and Colleen, WTF is an understatement to describe this impaired family( cannot say the EXACT synonym). The children are drones, DRONES who mindlessly follow their parents because they don't know any better. They are ------------ beyond description. Do you hear the theme song for THE ADDAMS FAMILY? They're creepy and they're screwy, the Duggar family. The Duggar children aren't going to sue their parents if the money is mismanaged; all they are going to do is think that the "parents" had their "best" interests at heart. Sad, sad situation, hmmm. They probably won't have any money. They will have meager and minimal skills at best. The only jobs they will have are jobs that will be automated and/or outsourced. Midwive jobs are very, very few with doctors doing the delivery. Well, there will be welfare if it is not severely streamlined. The Duggar children will be in...........HELL-up the proverbial creek without a paddle. Sinking, sinkING, SINKING...........

    • Askme profile image

      Pritchard 3 years ago

      Colleen you are a brave and intelligent person. All my best to you. You speak the truth. I never thought about the money aspect and where it is going. These Duggar kids will end up like Gary Coleman did without money because the parents mismanaged or spent it all. However unlike Gary the Duggar kids have no self-esteem and no guts to sue their parents.

      I have limited TV where I am currently living. Last night the only thing on was a marathon Duggars special. I cannot believe this screwed up family. Their second child to become engaged has to bring along her 8 yr old brother as a chaperon while on a picnic with her betrothed! How can these two ever get to know one another if they are constantly subjected to intrusive chaperons? And what makes an 8 yr old capable of chaperoning??? WTF??!!

    • profile image

      Colleen Jeffries 3 years ago

      I grew up in a large foster family. I went 2 school 6:00a.m. - 1:00 pm work part time & help raise my foster parents grandson. All the foster kids did this. We had no childhood. I left joined the USAF. I have no childhood memories of love & Fun. Weird part I had people in my adult life 2 stopped from enjoying my life becuz I was used 2 that treatment. I have finally gotten over that & enjoying life. They did not raise their kids. Trust me what is going on with that money is breaking the film industry law & about the hours of children bring used in film/TV & the money they should be paid. That money should be in a trust until they turn 18 years old. She has a dis order that needed atten. You can tell they are trying to hang on thru their oldest kids that is sick in itself.. The husband is fat while the kids are skinny. Why CPS & the law not investigation the hours of filming & why the kids were not paid & the money was not put in a trust 4 them until they turned 18. That is their money not the parents. My English is not good becuz I went 2 the Dugger's home school taught by the older girls !!!

    • profile image

      taralee 3 years ago

      I found this forum very interesting but you are wrong the older daughter Jill became pregnant right after her wedding. She was only married this May not for eight months.

    • Askme profile image

      Pritchard 3 years ago

      In my mind, there is no difference between the Duggar children of reality TV and the TV children of sitcoms who acted out and got in trouble (Todd Bridges, Gary Coleman, Macauley Culkin,, Lindsey Lohan, to name a few). Some of the Duggar children are bound to rebel if only for their own need to express their true self.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Rick, let's HOPE so but I doubt it. These children have been so inculcated in the fundamentalistic way that they are quite ensconced in that belief system. It is very sad really. Not only the Duggars but the average child reared in large-very large families are very traditional in their scope. Children from large families tend to marry and have children very young. That is part of the large family culture. Daughters from large families are taught from birth that their only path is marriage and children, education and career are not emphasized. Thank you for stopping by and adding to the discussion.

    • profile image

      Rick 3 years ago

      i just feel really sorry for the eldest daughter, 24 years old and i'm assuming hasn't even kissed a guy, she is in her prime of her life and she is taking care of the kids, these kids besides her are all settling down young and marrying somebody without even exploring themselves, it feels like the duggars are living in the old days and not adjusting to new times, there has to be something in between their extreme rules and miley cyrus, i have a feeling as the younger kids get older there will be quite a few of the kids that rebel and decide they want a different life style

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @ Anne Magnolia, Hopefully that would be the case! Probably ONE will see the light but that is not likely. Children from large-very large families tend to repeat the familial patterns of their parents. It is not unusual for children from large-very large families to marry in their teens and twenties and start having families thereafter. That is part of the large-very large family scenario.

      It is typical for children of large-very large families to marry just to get out their constricted family situation. That is very par for the course. It is also quite common for children from large-very large families to start their families in their twenties as their parents did. Children from large-very large families do not go through the developmental and normative explorative patterns that normal children do.

      I have read one of the Duggar daughters is ALREADY pregnant after EIGHT months of marriage. No getting to know each other as a couple first. This daughter was interviewed by a magazine; she indicated that she "wanted" a supersized family like her parents. Another daughter is engaged and has moved into the Duggar compound but no shenigans until wedded. I hear the theme song from the Addams Family as I am typing this; however, the fictional Addams' family is infinitely far more functional than this "family". Thank you for stopping by and adding to the discussion! My dear, this is not only the Duggars but many typical large-very large families have this psychology and mindset, the Duggars are only an example of such.

      P.S. While girls from small families are inculcated to become educated and thinking women on an equal par with men in every arena, girls from large-very large families are inculcated to be wives and mothers and not to be concerned with education and career success. From the time they can walk, they are told that the primary and/or main function of girls is to marry and to have children.

    • profile image

      Anne Magnolia 3 years ago

      Jim Bob and Michelle will continue to brainwash their children until Michelle is s not longer able to have yet another baby. Hopefully one or more of their children will smell the coffee and realize there's a whole wonderful world waiting for them and their children. Minus long skirts no frontal hugging, no sweet kisses prior to the marital bed, and parents who dominate their lives and probably have a say in what's acceptable behind closed doors. Get a life kids - and find your own way not that of your parents.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Askme, it is so SAD that so many people support and actually feel sorry for such an insanely pathological family. Any parent who elects to have a large family knowing the detriments socioeconomically, emotionally, and psychologically for the children need a good psychiatrist as he/she has deep issues and a deeper void in his/her life. It is childish narcissism to want to have a large family-children are not collections but individuals in need of individualized parental attention and time. Parents who have large families are selfish, callous, and immature. If they have the "need" for children, why don't they volunteer their time tutoring disadvantaged children, or spend time with homeless and runaway children. That would be more constructive than to endless breed children and bring them into an impoverished environment. That would be the INTELLIGENT thing to do but parents who have large families aren't that intelligent.

    • Askme profile image

      Pritchard 3 years ago

      Cindy,

      You missed the point again. It is no longer "their business" when they make a public display of their lifestyle on television. If you want something to be your business, then keep it private. Once you open the door and allow the public into your business, it ceases to be private and open for discussion.

    • profile image

      Cindy 3 years ago

      I have noticed that several of the commenters have obviously not watched the show. The kids all switch up household duties, which are cooking and cleaning. Jim Bob even taught the girls how to change oil and tires. Guess what, we live in a society that we can chose what, where and when we want to do something. It's our right. Don't you love living in a society like that. The Duggars get to chose too. While I personally don't want that many children, that doesn't mean they don't. They are free to do what ever they wish or believe. We all also have freedom of religion too. Get over it, find something else to complain about. Them and their children are not hurting, taking away or destroying anything of yours, so butt out! Please stop the meaness. From what I can tell, all their children seem to be happy and healthy and that's a lot better than a lot of kids in this world. Please pay attention to your own family and worry about them and make sure your own is taken care of and leave their business to them and take care of your own.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Askme, one of the Duggar's daughters is already pregnant and also plans to have a very supersized family. Yes, the Duggar children are brainwashed into the large family psychosis so to speak. I also would like to add that parents have large-very large families because of fear. Large-very large families are types of emotional/psychological incest if you ask me. Have you noticed that children from large-very large families DON'T have associates/friends and that their relationships are SOLELY with family? Also, children from large-very large families have INFERIOR social skills to children from small families because the former do not feel the need to socialize outside the family circle whereas children from snall families reach out to others and even include them in their inner circle. Yes, people from large-very large families tend to be exclusive as far as others go. People from large-very large families tend not to trust outsiders and have little to no friends whereas people from small families are friendlier towards outsiders and have more friends and better relationships with people overall.

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Askme, you are so correct. Children from large-very large families aren't normal like regular children. In large-very large families, it seems that the roles of parent-child are reversed. Parents are the narcissistic brats, only consider their selfish,primal need to endlessly reproduce while the children must assume the more mature role in the family. Parents of large-very large families simply don't give a rat's damn about their children, it is the parents' view that the children raise and support themselves. I have written hubs about this exact large-very large family scenario. I am TOTALLY AGAINST large-very large families as you well know. Any parent who willingly has a large-very large family is abusive pure and simple.

    • Askme profile image

      Pritchard 3 years ago

      Mindy A

      We appreciate your viewpoint. Sorry you stumbled/fell on this blog. I can assure you I am real. I live in Southern CA, currently working a long term job assignment in Washington. I have 4 children, 2 I gave birth to and 2 came with my second marriage.

      I have never met GW but I admire her. This blog is more about large families and how children get lost in the shuffle of parents over taxed with paying attention to the younger ones or using older children as unpaid servants.

      Based on my mother's experience being the oldest in a large family, I know the emotional issues children go through when they are denied the opportunity to have parents who are fully investing their time in their child, allowing their child to grow into mature adults and being allowed to have a childhood.

      I am not a lunatic nor fanatical. You seem to miss the point of this entire hub. It is personal opinion. As far as I know, we are still allowed to voice our opinions especially about fanatics like the Duggars who are on public TV displaying their life. I've said it before-Say it again, you give up the right to NOT be criticized when you put your family in the public eye FOR PROFIT, apparently Mindy A you missed that fact. Duggars are selling their lifestyle and the privacy of their children for $$$. Get over your-self righteous condemnation of OUR RIGHT to express our opinion!

    • profile image

      wendy p 3 years ago

      denying all the negatives about producing too many kids doesn't make the reality less true.

    • profile image

      Mindy A. 3 years ago

      I don't know how I stumbled into this thread, but it's a rude awakening. What a bunch of fanatical, judgemental lunatics we have in this country. And keeping a blog to vent their hatred....gmwilliams and askme and your mutual admiration society....you can't be real . I don't give a hoot about the Duggers, but this is extreme. Live and let live.

    • profile image

      GG 3 years ago

      You all need to not concern yourself in someone else's business, they have done nothing to you to make you bash and criticize them like this. And the fact that you people take every injury or small detail that you see wrong, and jump to the worst possible case scenario is sick. As humans we ALL get hurt at times! We can't help that! Can you honestly say that you were a perfect child and never got hurt? Stop criticising every decision that this family makes, and MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. And please do not ignore the fact that they are on television for gosh sakes! If there was abuse going on, Child Services would jump on that. But they haven't.

    • Amanda Roddy profile image

      Amanda Roddy 3 years ago

      AliceJohnston@ It is a stretch to say no children are ever removed from large families. I see stories quite often in which 5 +kids have removed from horrid conditions. Maybe the teen mom is a good parent, but as you say assumptions cause people to think otherwise. The assumptions, vendettas, and false reporting you speak of cause good parents to lose their 2.5 kids. Given most large families are religious, abuse can go undetected. The stories on reoveringgrace.org tell stories of those from larger families who were sexually and emotionally abused and no one ever guessed..The older daughters do more than just help.

      Diana@ Saying they have higher IQs than women is inane and sexist. You need to dig deeper into their beliefs. You do no know how these kids really feel since a camera is in their face all the time. The Duggars look innocent on TV, but they are trying to make us a country Korea in which females have no rights. None of them have pursued higher education.

    • profile image

      Diana 3 years ago

      I find this blog highly suspect and lop sided. The girls were never forbidden from traveling to care for the younger ones. Wen in fact the girls went on many excursions leaving the dad to care for the younger ones while Michelle was in the NICU caring for Josie. perhaps some should consider that the eldest daughter Jana did go on to higher education and has not adopted this marry young and be fruitful frame of thought. The only one who does embrace this seems to be eldest son Joshua whose wife Anna seems to love children. Her parents also Christians who have a prison ministry had 9 children and some women truly are designed to be moms or this world would not be so populated. It is true their diet is horrendous by current standards, I would be dead from a heart attack if I ate like they ate. I do not believe the elder girls are subject to subservience, they are all well rounded with a variety of interests, many have higher IQ's and more common sense than young women who are one of two or three children. They could financially afford to build their home, they purchased it themselves along with many commercial properties, This was on the land of one of those properties. The father wanted his son to learns skills in the building of this home project. The reason for the TLC payment was that the family could not finish it fast enough for the TLC series, so this was self serving for TLC. The kids learned many useful skills. many families they meet and show also have very large families, one being their close friends the Bates ( 18 kids), who have a very well rounded family. Another family has 11 children, all adopted and all children with disabilities, these children are thriving. Michelle "baby hunger" seems far fetched to me. After they lost #20 due to a still birth, I believe they have accepted that this season of her life is over. Having sex without birth control is not illegal nor immoral. Do I question some of their parenting style? Sure I do, however, none of these kids has been arrested. They are all responsible and travel the world with a maturity I would not acknowledge in a 40 year old. Yes, many times they travel in pairs, would you want to be in a country of potential danger or in which you did not know the language all alone? A Korean TV company came and filmed them for a week and they did it because Korean births have declined, and they wanted the people to see this successful family. The people who do the filming and sound have been with them since the get go, they bring their kids to join in on excursions. Would I want to grow up like this? No, not if I knew what life was like in the real world. This is their world, this is what they know and love. one daughter recently married and is blooming where she is planted, she and her husband live on their own in another state. Yes, one day they will run out of older kids to care for younger ones, however the younger ones are growing and thriving. Due to the sheer number they had a buddy system, not and enslavement, please get your facts straight. At some point Mom and Dad will be to old or too ill to care for themselves, would you ant to live out your golden years with no one to look after you? No, kids are not put her to be caregivers, Love is what makes them caregivers. They are still caring for Jim Bob's mom who is quite strong, active and healthy. I do not see her complaining or bailing. Sure they are busy and yes, they are very enterprising. I admire people who take every opportunity to live a comfortable life. Michelle's sisters and brother are not part of this movement. They have very different lifestyles. Jim Bob has one sister who has a different lifestyle, she had one child, a daughter who as been taken under their wing, she does not adopt their lifestyle, she is on her own pursuing music in Nashville. I am sure there are many negatives. However, I see so many positives. Many of their beliefs resemble those of Orthodox Jews and I dare anyone to argue with that way of living. I truly believe this blog lacked a lot of balance. And some skewed points of view. I straddle both sides of the fence, as a professional, a mom and a Jew. That is all I will add, I just though the blog was very off point.

    • Askme profile image

      Pritchard 3 years ago

      my children--4 of them-attended public schools made up of students from multi-cultural, religious and varying parents, i.e single parents, gay parents, inter-racial. From that my kids learned to accept people. Friends come in all shapes and sizes. The Duggars are mono-everyone is alike and of the same color, religion and opinions. Much like home school children. I am happy my kids have friends from different cultures and beliefs. They are avid travelers and lovers of new and different things. SADLY the Duggar kids learn only to marry young and start reproducing as many as your womb will take!

    • profile image

      annpappas 3 years ago

      I have watched the Duggars for some time now, and as a mom of five I see a very happy and secure family, which now a days is scarce. I homeschool 2 of my girls and they are more secure and happy than they ever were in school. I do not have anything negative to say about all they are doing, no one is complaining about their home life on the Duggars. The kids seem very comfortable with their home lives. The parents parent their children, and there are times when I have to go somewhere and my oldest daughter watches her younger sister, so what, that's called being a family, you help one another, you care about one another, you respect one another. In this world families like this are a dime a dozen, you just don't see too many of them, but when you do you say GOD Bless, not make judgement. You should be happy they are happy and not swimming through half the problems so called normal families swim through. I love my children and would not trade anything for the short time we have together before they go out on their own. I hope GOD continues to bless the Duggars. They are an inspirations to all families that chose to do what others opt out on, being true to your family and not what people think you should do..