Did you know that I was once in a relationship with Johnny Depp? The Johnny Depp? Yep, I was in a relationship with him for an entire year, and we were in a very serious relationship too because I was living in his house the entire time until he found out that I was living there and he had me arrested for trespassing. That put an end to that relationship.
I'm just kidding about this backstory, by the way. If you took this seriously, you're a complete idiot!